My Own Short Stories by Jannika
Summary: Here you can read all my short stories I'm writing in the future. I hope you'll enjoy first one, because I totally cried when I wrote it. So I suggest get tissues before reading. :D
HAPPY 2021!
Categories: Backstreet Boys Characters: Group, Nick
Genres: Drama, Dramedy, Humor, Romance
Warnings: Death, Violence
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 37013 Read: 2013 Published: 01/09/21 Updated: 07/30/21

1. Decade To Decade by Jannika

2. Signs as Sign Language by Jannika

3. Dream Girl by Jannika

4. Deja Vu PART1 by Jannika

5. Deja Vu PART 2 by Jannika

Decade To Decade by Jannika
Author's Notes:
First short story is about Ellie Gilbert. Ellie's twin sister Kellie won ticket to concert and meeting the guys. She can choose other person to go with her so she choose her twins sister Ellie. When Ellie meet Nick, she was falling in love with him right away. Things goes crazy when they meet after 10 years.
I never thought true love existed.
That happened to me though.
It only lasted 2 days.

I live in small town in the Ohio.
I’m not going to be more specific which town.
That is not important right now.

I only want to tell you about my love.
About the man I fall in love with.
Where I met him?
Who is he?

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
I haven’t told my name yet.
My name is Ellie Gilbert.

My twin sister Kellie is 3 minutes older than me.
When we were very young, like 10 year olds, people couldn’t say which one was which.
Kellie and I thought to put stop to it and decided change things.

I have this gorgeous dark brown hair that my mom is so jealous of.
Kellie has this very short dyed pink hair.
She’s huge fan of P!nk and all other pop music.

Kellie once won tickets to meet Backstreet Boys to their Into the Millennium Tour.
She’s HUGE fan of them.
She had fantasied to marry AJ.
She’s such a dreamer.

I really wasn’t into that kind of music, but I have to be honest.
It wasn’t so bad.
She asked me to join her to meet the boys, because she couldn’t just meet them alone.
She was nervous as hell.

We were waiting to go meet the boys at the back stage.
I was little nervous to meet them.
I never had met celebrities before in my life.

“This is nerve wrecking!” Kellie said nervously.
“Speak to yourself. I’m fine.” I said smiling.
“Wait when you see them and your heart starts beating.” Kellie said.
“It already is. I never had met celebrities before.” I said smiling.
“We got so many years to go meet so many.” Kellie said.
“True. We are only 19 years old.” I said and then boys walked towards us in their performance clothes.
“They look like they are off to space.” Kellie said smiling.

I had to admit that they did.
First one of them said hi to us was Kevin.
He was very tall and handsome.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ellie.” I said when shook his hand.
“Nice to meet you too. You two are twins.” Howie said next.
“We are. I’m the oldest. 3 minutes.” Kellie said smiling when looked at AJ next.
“But I’m smartest.” I said and looked to Kellie.
“I’m Brian. I’m Kevin’s cousin. You might’ve of know that.” Brian said when shook my hand.
“Oh we know. She’s fan. I’m only here for keep her in her pants.”
“Shut up, Ellie.” Kellie said and slapped me to my arm.
“It’s true. You have huge crush on AJ.” I said and eyed to AJ.

Everyone was looking at Kellie and she was blushing.
“Everyone have a favorite.” she said smiling.
“Do you have favorite, Ellie?” Brian asked.
“No. I’m just enjoying the music.” I said honesty.
“Has anyone seen Nick?” Kevin asked and looked around.
“He’s always late. I’ll go look for him.” Howie said and left.
“So who is the youngest in this group?” I asked.
“I’ve told you that many times, sis.” Kellie said.
“I’m not a fan and I forget things.” I admit.
“I found him. He had problem with the zippers and buttons.” Howie said.
“Nick. Meet Ellie and Kellie. They are twins.” AJ introduce us.
When I was face to face with him, I was getting butterflies in my stomach.
He’s most beautiful man I ever met.
His blue eyes were spot on and his golden yellow hair.
“Hey. Nice to meet you.” Nick said smiling and offered me his hand.
“Hey.” It was only thing I can say.

We took few photos together and they signed few things to Kellie.
Boys were about to heading to getting ready when Nick suddenly took my hand.
He walked us to aside from others and then turns to look at me.
“I want to invite you to after party.” he said smiling.
“Oh?” I only said in surprise.
“Yeah. You can take your sister too. I think AJ would like that.”
“Okay.” I only said and blushed little.
“You don’t talk much.” he said smiling.
“I’m sorry. I’m not usually this shy.” I said and sighed.
“It’s cute when girls are shy.” he said and touched my cheek.
“You think I’m cute?” I asked surprised.
“Yeah. Very cute.” He said smiling.
“Nick. Are you done with flirting now?” Brian asked.
“Yeah. Give me a minute.” Nick said.
“Now, Nick. Get on surf board now.” Kevin commanded.
“You should go.” I said smiling.
“Want to fly with me to stage?” He asked and I looked shocked.
“I don’t know… I don’t think they would allow me to do that.”
“Sure they will. Kellie could surf with AJ.”
I couldn’t say anything when he was already pulling me with him to guys.

“She’s going to fly with me.” Nick said and stand behind me.
“We don’t do that Nick.” Kevin said.
“Why not? Kellie could fly with AJ.” Nick said and looked at AJ.
“I don’t argue with that. Kellie?” AJ questioned and looked at her.
“Can I?” Kellie asked excited.
“We don’t do that.” Howie said and looked at Nick and AJ.
“Just once. They won to meet us. At least we could let them fly with us.” AJ said.

Boys were arguing for little longer about if we can fly with them to stage.
In the end we didn’t and I was fine with that.
I’m afraid of heights and Kellie loves flying.
We are two different persons.

When show was over, Kellie and I were invited to after party.
Nick and I get really close.
We talked most of the time about our lives.
I looked at the time on my watch and sighed.

“Need to be somewhere?” Nick asked.
“Kellie and I have curfew.” I said and looked at him.
“That’s too bad. I don’t have curfew.” he said.
“Of course you don’t.” I said chuckling.
“Can I ask you for the one dance before you go?” he asked when stand up.
“I don’t dance. That’s Kellie’s thing.” I said when shake my head.
“Oh come on. Just one.” He smiled.

I couldn’t say no to him when he smiled at me.
After one dance, we danced 2 more songs when he whispered to my ear.
“I have to admit. I’m going to miss you, Ellie.”
I didn’t say anything back because I knew I will miss him too.
“I can tell that you’ll miss me too. Your heart is bounding.”

I smiled when he said that.
I looked to around us when we danced to slow music.
I saw AJ and Kellie having making out session going on.
She must be so happy right now.
She was living her dream.
Song was still going when Nick looked to my eyes and smiled.
“I know this sounds cheesy, but want to get out of here?” he asked.
“To where?” I asked curious.
“Somewhere private where we can talk more.”
“You mean what Kellie and AJ are doing?” I asked and pointed my head to their direction.
“Well… How can I say no for that?” He asked and smirked.
“Well I need to go home. Maybe you can give me ride home.” I asked.
“Well we came here with limo so… We can take that.” he said.
“Sounds good. Maybe I should go tell Kellie that it’s time to go.”
“She’s having time of her life.” Nick said smiling.
“Aunt wouldn’t like the idea of her to staying up all night with a guy.”
“Aunt?” Nick questioned.
“Yeah… Dad left us when we weren’t born and mom… She died last year to cancer.”
“I’m so sorry. You must’ve had tough year.” he said and hugged me.
“We did, but aunt has been so good to us.”
“Then maybe she could understand that so you could stay out little bit longer.”
“You just don’t want me to go.” I said smiling.
“No. I don’t.” He said smiling.

Like he promised, he gave me ride to home.
Aunt’s car wasn’t on the parking spot.
I have no idea where she was.

“Nice house. I want to walk you to door.” he said and got out the limo.
I followed right behind him when he holds the limo door for me open.
“Thank you. I had so much fun tonight.” I said when we walked to porch.
“I’m glad to hear that. Kellie is still somewhere with AJ.”
“Well I’m nothing like her. She’s more of the party girl than me.” I said smiling.
“AJ is the same. They seem to have lot of fun.” He said smiling.

We were now just standing front of the door quietly just looking at each other.
I had some butterflies in my stomach when I was just looking to his blue eyes.
“Want to come inside for minute?” I suddenly asked and surprised myself.
“What about your aunt?” he asked.
“She’s not home. Her car is not here.” I said when started to look for keys.
“Well I might as well come for little bit.”

I opened the door and walked in so nervous.
Nick closed the door behind him when he walked after me.
“Want some drink?” I asked when turn to look at him
“I’m not thirsty. I’ve been thinking only one thing whole night.”
“And what is that?” I asked curious and lean my back to wall.
“I can let you guess three times.” He said and walked closer to me.
“Kissing me?” I questioned and smiled.
“Wow. You are good.” He said smiling.
“Did I get it right?” I asked smiling.
“Sure you did.” he said and leaned closer to me.

Our lips were so close to meet when suddenly front door opens.
We both looked direction of the door.
Kellie walked in smiling and being in her own thoughts.
She didn’t see us yet until she walked closer.

“Oh… Hi.” She said.
“Hi, Kellie. Had fun?” Nick asked.
“Yes. I had lot of fun.” Kellie said.
“Good. Where’s AJ?” I asked curious.
“He left to hotel. I came to home cause of the curfew.” Kellie said.
“Of course. I did too.” I said smiling.
“I’m going to my room so you two can continue whatever you two are doing.”

Kellie walked to upstairs smiling.
We heard door open and closing.
We looked at each other for moment in silence.
He once more leaned closer to me and finally our lips met.
First very soft and slow.
Then very passionately.
We were kissing for few minutes before we apart from the kiss.

“I should go. Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked.
“When do you need to go?” I asked.
“Not until later.” Nick said and touched my cheek.
“Then stay overnight.” I begged.
“Overnight? What if your aunt comes and sees me here?”
“She doesn’t need to know.” I said and lead him to upstairs to my room.
“Wait, wait…” Nick said and stopped us both at the stairs.
“What?” I asked in confused.
“It’s not really fair to Kellie.” He said.
“She could’ve gone to hotel with him, but she didn’t.”
“Ellie… We just met.” Nick said.
“I know, but just sleeping isn’t wrong.”

He was about to talk when we heard some giggle and laugh from Kellie’s room.
It sounded like there was man in her room.
I looked at Nick and he looked at me.

“She’s such a liar. I recognize that laugh miles away.” Nick said quiet voice.
“So are you going to stay now?” I asked whisper.
“If he’s going to stay then so am I.” he said smiling.

Nick stayed overnight and so did AJ.
Kellie and AJ didn’t know that we knew.
Aunt never came home that night.
She never found out that boys were at the house.

Next morning Kellie and I wanted to say proper goodbye to boys.
We went with them to their hotel and stayed as long as it took before they left.
I was standing with Nick front of his bus door.
We didn’t talk for moments, but he decided to speak.

“I’m going to miss you like crazy, Ellie.” Nick said.
“You said that yesterday. Try not to miss me too much.” I said smiling.
“I won’t promise anything. I have your email.” Nick said and showed piece of paper I gave him.
“I’m checking my email every day.”
“Good. I’ll promise to write, okay?” Nick said and pulled me to hug.

We were embracing for long moment until driver horned to let Nick know it’s time to go.
We back away from the hug and he leaned to give me long kiss for goodbye.
Before I know it, he moved away from me to bus door.
He turned to look at me smiling and waved and I waved him back.
He step inside to bus and then bus doors closed.
Kellie walked to me and we hugged each other.
She was crying and somehow I wasn’t crying.
We were standing and watching bus driving away as long as we could see the busses.

“We are going to see them again, right?” Kellie asked.
“I really don’t know. It’s up to them.” I said.
“You could just lie and say yes.” Kellie said and sighed.
“Yes. We are going to see them again.” I said.

10 Years Later

“Do you want me to organize the flowers at the back?” I asked from my co-worker Dana.
“Yeah. It’s very messy back there.” Dana said smiling.
“I’ll take care of customer first.” I said when walked to Mrs. Hudson.
“Hello Mrs. Hudson. How may I help you today?” I asked smiling.
“Hello Ellie. It’s our anniversary today. I want to take 10 roses to Erwin’s grave.” she said smiling.
“That’s so romantic. We have lot of different roses. Which color you want?”
“Oh basic red is fine.” she said.
“I’ll go get roses from the back. I’ll be right back.” I said and walked to Dana.
“What she wants today?” Dana asked.
“10 roses to Erwin’s grave. Their anniversary.” I said smiling.
“That’s romantic. I wish my future husband would do that to me when I die”
“I wouldn’t want mine to just do that every year.” I admit and walked to back room.
So it’s been 10 years since I saw Nick last time and I haven’t got any email from him.
He never wrote or visited.
My life has changed big time since.
Kellie moved to New York with her husband and 2 year old daughter.

I’m 29 year old working in the floristshop with Dana.
I’m married to George Burton.
I’m now Ellie Burton.
We’ve been married 3 years.

George has a son name Eric from his first marriage.
His wife died in the car accident.
Eric was only year old when she died.
Eric is now 6 years old.

I met George at the restaurant when I had dinner with my friends.
I manage to fall on him accidently when someone accidently pushed me.
After that day we started to go out and dating.
Year later he propose to me at the same restaurant.

6 months later we get married and lived happily in my home town here in Ohio.
Aunt gave me the house as a wedding gift.
House is perfect for us 3 to live in.
Aunt decided to go travel around the world with her Italian boyfriend Tony.

“Ellie? Could you take care of new costumer?” Dana asked.
“I’m still with roses to Mrs. Hudson.” I said and looked at Dana.
“Are roses done?” Dana asked and walked to me.
“Yeah. Just one more.” I said as I made small bouquet.
“I can take care of Mrs. Hudson. Just go to that guy.” Dana said and pointed guy who looked at bouquets at the window.

I looked at the guy and got shocked.
Is it really him?
I peeked through pearl curtains and saw his face.
Nick is here?

“Ellie? You okay?” Dana asked.
“Ye…Yeah. I don’t think I’m feeling okay.” I said and turned to look away.
“You looked like you have seen a ghost.” Dana said worried.
“Kind of.” I admit.

“Ellie? What’s wrong?” Dana asked worried.
“Guy in there. I know him.” I said and sighed.
“Really? He’s cute.” Dana said smiling.
“If you say so, but I really don’t want to see him.” I said.
“I’ll go find out what he wants.” Dana said and walked to shop with rose bouquet.
“Shit…” I said and sighed.
“I’ll be right with you, sir.” Dana said smiling to Nick and took care of Mrs. Hudson.

When she was finally done with Mrs. Hudson, she walked to Nick smiling.
“How can I help you?”
“Yes. I would like to have this bouquet.” I heard Nick say.

His voice was so much older and pure.
He was no more that young blonde guy I was madly in love with.
Why was he here?
I kept listening quietly.

“Are you here for business or pleasure?” Dana asked when walked to work bench.
“Both actually. Bouquet is to old friend of mine I haven’t seen long time.”
“She must be special. How long you know this girl?” Dana asked.
“10 years, but feels more than that.” Nick said.

I couldn’t believe he came here and never wrote to me.
I peeked little more to not make myself to be seen.
I have to admit that he looked so handsome and sexy.
Gosh I’m married and I’m thinking of these things.

“When did you saw her last time?” Dana asked and I could hear from her voice she tried to find answers.
“Honestly. 10 years ago.” He admit it right away.
“Wow. What’s her name if I may ask?” Dana asked.
“Ellie Gilbert. You know her?” He asked.
“I do know woman name by as Ellie, but her last name is Burton.” Dana said.
“Could it be possible that she get married?” he asked.
“Only way to find out is to go to her house.” Dana said and I knew that moment I had to go home.
“I guess it is if she still lives there.” he said.

I didn’t stay listen anymore.
I took my stuff from my locker and walked out the back door.
I rode my bike back home.
I didn’t have car to drive.

George is the driver in the family.
George is mechanic and had his own shop.
When I get home, he was still there.
I walked in and saw him sitting at the stool at the hallway.

“Babe… Why are you home so early? What happened?” he asked worried.
“I forget it’s my day off. Dana had to remind me.” I said and smiled weakly.
“Oh. I was just going for work.” George said.
“I’ll think I’ll just go upstairs and have nice relaxing bath.” I said smiling and gave him kiss before walked to upstairs.

I was at the bedroom door when doorbell rang.
It must’ve been Nick already.
I walked closer to stairs to listen two men talking.

“Yes? May I help you?” George asked.
“Hello. Does Ellie Gilbert live here?” Nick asked.
“Who is asking?” George asked.
“An old friend.” Nick said.

I had to stop the men talking before they are going to be in their throats.
I walked down the stairs pretending I wasn’t listening.
“George, honey? Who is it?” I asked and walked to stairs.
“Someone who says is old friend of yours.” George said.

I walked to them and looked at Nick who smiled.
“Nick?” I questioned and acted surprised.
“Hey, Ellie.” He said and I noticed he was holding bouquet.
“You know this guy?” George asked me.
“Yeah. I haven’t seen Nick long time. He’s an old friend.” I said smiling.
“Well I have to go work. You two can catch up.” George said.
“Okay, babe. Are you getting Eric end of the day?” I asked.
“Yes. We’ll be back at 6.” George said and gave me a kiss.
“I’ll make dinner. Have a good work day.” I said smiling.
“Thank you. Nick? It was nice to meet you.” George said and offered his hand.
“You two. Have a good day.” Nick said and shook his hand.

George left to work and I let Nick walk in.
“Well… Still living with Aunt?” He asked when I closed the door.
“Does it look like I’m living with aunt?” I asked.
“It’s the same house.” he said.
“What are you doing here Nick?” I asked.
“I came to see you. Here. I bought this for you.” Nick said and handed me the bouquet.
“That’s very nice of you. Thank you.” I said and took the bouquet.

I walked to kitchen and started to look for vase for the bouquet.
I heard Nick following behind and he sat down to chair.

“So where’s Kellie?” He asked curious.
“New York.” I said and filled the vase with water.
“AJ wanted me to ask about her.” He said.
“What happened, Nick?” I asked when put vase on the table with flowers.
“What you mean?” He asked.
“You never wrote to me.” I said pissed.
“I lost that piece of paper.” He said.
“Are you lying to me right now?” I asked.
“I’m honest. I lost it. I asked everyone if they had seen that piece of paper.” he said.
“Why not visit?” I asked.
“You know me. I’m busy guy and I’m terrible with the directions.” he said.

I sighed and sat another chair.
We were silent for moment and we didn’t look at each other.
When I was looking at him, he was looking away.
When he looked at me, I looked away.

“So is Eric your son?” Nick asked.
“Biologicly? No. He’s George’s.” I said and decided to stand up to make some coffee.
“George been married before you?” he asked and I nodded.
“Ellie, I’m sorry. When I was about to email you I didn’t find that piece of paper.”
“So why are you here now?” I asked.
“Boys and I are having a show here.”
“Kellie might’ve mentioned it, but I forgot.” I said and turn to look at him when I lead my lower back to counter.
“Want to come and see others?” He asked and I shook my head as no.
“I had to be at home tonight.” I said.
“Are you happy with him?” He asked and I looked at him shocked.
“You have no right to ask me that.”
“I don’t?” he questioned and stood up to face me.
“No you don’t. I’m so mad at you.”
“I said I’m sorry.”
“That’s not excuse. You could’ve just…” I said and tried to find right words.
“I was very young then and dumb. I’m sorry it took this long to come see you.”
“How old are you right now?” I asked and he chuckled.
“Is that what you’ve been thinking since I walked in?”
“I never asked your age back then.” I said.
“I’m 29. What about you?” He asked.
“You were 19 when we met?” I asked surprised.
“Yeah I was. I bet you were at least 17.”
“No. I was 19 also. I’m 29 next month.” I admit.
“Happy early birthday I guess.” He said smiling.
“You sounded like we are not seeing again.”
“It’s depends on you.” He said and stands next to me at the counter.
“You want some coffee?” I asked for changing the subject and turn to open cabinets to get cups.
“Sure. No milk or sugar. Just black.” He said smiling.
“Are you hungry?” I asked and walked to fridge.
“Coffee it’s just fine.” He said when I turned around with plate with sandwiches.
“Well I’m going to eat. I haven’t eaten yet my lunch.” I said and put plate on table.
“You made those?” He asked when looked at the sandwiches.
“Yeah. Gluten free.” I said and poured coffee to cups.
“Oh… I might eat one.” He said and sat to chair.
“Go ahead. I can make more later to Eric.” I said and put cup in front of him on the table.
“Thanks.” He said and smiled.

I sat to other side of table and started to eat and drink.
We looked at each other.
I was thinking what he was thinking.
He must’ve thinking too.

“What?” I asked finally to end the silence.
“I’m trying to control myself to not kiss you.”
“Nick, please stop.” I said and sighed.
“I’m serious. You look still the same. Beautiful.”
“Stop.” I begged.
“Gorgeous, Sexy…” Nick kept going.
“Nick, please just stop. I’m married.” I said and stood up.
“I don’t care. I missed you like crazy.” He said and stood up too.
“I think you should leave.” I said and pointed the front door.
“I’m here to proof how much I care.” He said and walked towards to me.
“You are 10 years late, Nick. I love George.” I said when looked at him.
“I believe you. I can see in your eyes that you still have feelings for me.”
“I’m not going to ruin my marriage. I’m happy with him.” I said and crossed my arms.
“Why haven’t you mentioned to him about me?” he asked and I looked at him shocked.
“Because there’s nothing to be mentioned about. You are just one stupid crush.” I said.
“Is that what I am? Stupid crush?” He asked offended.
“We were teens Nick. Teenagers have that kind of crush.” I said.
“Ellie… It wasn’t stupid crush to me. I looked for that piece of paper years.”
“It’s not changing things.”
“I’m going to give you a chance. I need to go, but here.” He said and pulled some kind of card from his wallet.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“It’s keycard to my hotel room. I’ll be staying here just tonight.”
“What should I do with it?” I asked.
“I’ll be waiting for you till to the 10am. That’s when we are heading off.” He said and put keycard on the table.
“Why should I come?” I asked and looked at Nick.
“If you really love George, then you won’t come, but if there’s even small possibility that you love me too then you come tonight.” He said and looked at me.
“I won’t.” I shook my head.
“Then I’ll know my answer tomorrow morning.” Nick said and walked towards the front door.
“You don’t need to wait!” I shouted after him.
“Then I guess this is goodbye.” He said and opened the front door.
“Don’t ever come back, okay?” I begged and watched him standing at the door in his sexy glory.
“If that’s what you want.” He said and looked at me.
“It is.” I said and sighed.
“Goodbye, Ellie.” He said and left.

I sighed for relieved when door closed behind him.
I turn to look at the keycard on the table.
I need to hide the key so George won’t see it.
I took the keys and put it to my wallet before I know what to do with it.

After dinner and Eric’s bath, it was time to bed.
George put Eric to bed sleeping and I decided to be at the living room to read a book.
I kept thinking about Nick whole day after he left.
He can totally screw up my head.

I looked at the time from the clock that was on the top of the fireplace.
It’s already 10:30pm.
Part of me wants so bad to go see him, but my wedding ring is the reason I shouldn’t.
I put book aside to not able to read.

I heard George walking towards to my way and sat next to me.
He pulled me close to him and braced me.
Sometimes we don’t need words to say how much we love each other.

“You okay?” He asked in whisper.
“Yes. I’m now. I missed you so much whole day.” I said and kissed his cheek.
“How was the reunion with Nick?” He asked.
“It was okay. He asked me to go see his show.” I said and cuddle to him more.
“Show? What is he doing for living?” He asked curious.
“He’s Backstreet Boy.” I said and he started to laugh.
“Seriously? Freaking Backstreet Boy?” He asked and I nodded.
“I never thought of that. How you know him?” He asked.
“What you think?” I asked.
“At the concert?” He questioned.
“Yeah. Kellie won ticket to meet them and I went with her.”
“And you started to be friends with him?” He asked.
“Something like that.” I said and stood up off the couch.
“I’m going for walk. It’s been crazy day. Don’t wait up.” I said and gave him kiss.
“It’s almost midnight. You sure you okay?” He asked worried.
“Yes. I’m okay.” I said and walked to hallway.
“Ellie… Did something happen while I was at work?” He asked.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like something.”
“We had coffee, we talked and he left.” I explained.
“And he gave you flowers.” He added.
“Yes and even not my favorite flower.” I said smiling.
“Do you know when you’ll be seeing him next time?” He asked.
“No. He’s busy guy. We are emailing each other if we remember.” I said and put jacket on.
“Would you see him if I say to not to?” He asked.
“George… Are you jealous?” I asked smiling.
“Well… I have to admit that dude is very charming and handsome.”
“He is, but not as charming as you.” I said smiling and gave him long kiss.
“Hmmm… That’s what I thought. Don’t be gone long.” He said middle of kissing.
“I won’t.” I said and walked out the house.

I hate to lie to him.
I walked long way to hotel where Nick and boys were staying.
I really didn’t know what I was doing here.
I was standing outside the hotel just looking at the building.

I looked at my watch and it was almost 11:30pm
I got the feeling they weren’t back here yet.
I could just go in and surprise him when he comes.
Only problem is that what I’m going to say to him when he comes.

I walked inside to hotel and walked to reservation desk.
Young man was standing behind it and he was on the phone.
He smiled at me and showed with the finger to wait for minute.
I was really crazy to come here and meet him.

After all I told him to not ever come back again.
I looked around the lounge of the hotel.
I’ve never been in this hotel before.
I heard guy to end the phone and turn to look at him.

“Hello. What can I do for you?”
“I was just wondering if person in room number 6049 has arrived yet.”
“I’m sorry miss, but I’m not allowed to give you that kind of information.”
“Would it change things if I had a keycard to that room?”
“Well… It might if you do have it.” He said and smiled.

I started to search my purse to look for my wallet.
Guy looked at me weird.
I took wallet and get keycard out of it.
I hold it in my fingers and smiled.

“Is Mr. Carter here yet?” I asked.
“Is he expecting you?” He asked.
“I’m here to surprise him. I’m old friend.”
“How did you get the key if you want to surprise him?”
“You are tough guy. I can just go to elevators and use the key.”
“I’m only doing what I’ve been told. If you do have a key then go ahead.”
“Could it be possible to order some wine and chocolate dipped strawberries?”
“Of course. It’ll be delivered there soon.”
“Thank you.” I said and walked to elevators.

I walked to room door where Nick is sleeping tonight.
I should just knock to be sure if he is here or not.
I knocked twice and waited few moments and knocked again.
Finally I thought he’s not here and tried the keycard to unlock the door.
Door opened and I walked in the room what was so dark.
I looked for switch to put light on and light relieved big room.
I walked around the room and next looked at the bathroom.
It was bigger than my bedroom.

30 minutes later hotel service brought the wine and strawberries I ordered.
I gave the deliver guy tip before he left and I closed the door.
What was I doing here?
I’m married woman and I’m here to see other man.
This wasn’t good.
Maybe I should just leave and forget whole thing.
I was about to open the door until I heard his voice through the door.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow 10:15 at the lounge.” Nick said to someone.
“Get some good rest. We have long bus ride ahead of us.” That sounded like Howie.
“I know D. Goodnight.” Nick said.

I decided to turn lights off and sit to arm chair near the window.
I was getting so nervous.
Why was I getting nervous?
Keycard beeped and door open.
He walked inside, but didn’t put lights on.
I reach to floor lamp and put light on that.
Nick got jumped when lights went on.

“Fuck Jesus!” He swore.
“I rather not.” I answered nervous.
“Ellie?” Nick questioned surprised.
“Hi.” I only said smiling and still sitting.
“What… I thought…” He was speechless I was here.
“I thought to bring keycard back to you. Then I got hungry and order wine and strawberries.”
“Does George know you are here?” He sat down to edge of the bed and removes his shoes.
“No. I told him I went for walk.”
“Do you always lie to him where you go?”
“I don’t, but he’s jealous Nick. I couldn’t just tell him that I’ll come here and bring this.”

I stood up and took keycard from my wallet.
“You didn’t need to bring it. They are not working after I leave.”
“Oh… I didn’t know. I don’t use hotels much as you.” I said awkward.
“Anything else?” he asked and looked at me.
“No.” I said and put keycard to next to other keycard.
“No? Why order wine and chocolate dipped strawberries?”
“Do I really need a reason to order wine?” I asked and looked at him.
“Wine is kind of for romantic moments. Like strawberries.”

I couldn’t say anything back to him.
He stood up of the bed and walked towards me.
He lifted my chin up to look up to him.
His eyes looked so gorgeous.
Was I falling for him all over again?
He gently touched my hair aside off my face.
I was in the danger zone now.
I should not be here.
Just go while you still can.

“I… I should…” I tried to say, but he shushed me by putting finger on my lips.
“Just admit. You were thinking about me.” He said and looked to my eyes.
“What makes you think that?” I asked and gulped.
“If you only wanted to bring keycard back, you could’ve just left it to lounge.”

I was screwed now.
What am I going to do now?
Am I going to cheat my husband?
Truth is that I did want to come see him and tell him I do love him, but not much as George.

“Nick… I came here to talk.” I said and walked past him to sit on bed.
“Let’s talk then.” Nick said and sat next to me.
“I can’t sit next to you right now.” I said and stood up right away.
“Okay…” He said and looked at me.
“Nick… I do care about you. I do have feelings for you.” I said when I looked at him.

I was about to continue, but he stood up so fast and kissed me deeply when pushed me against the wall.
His kiss was much more passionate than I remembered.
Why am I letting him kissing me?
I need to stop this, but the same time I didn’t.
His kissed brought back memories the time when we were only teens.
He was now looking to my eyes to read me what I was thinking.
I never made love with Nick.
I’ve always dreamed about how sex with him is like.
Our lips finally aparted and we looked at each other.
I looked down to my shirt and started to unbutton it.
I’m surprised that Nick touches my hand to make me stop.

“Ellie… We don’t have to do this.” He said sweetly.
“But you want to.” I said and looked at him.
“Yes I do, but you are married.” He said.
“Just make love to me Nick. Just even once.” I begged and removed my shirt off.
“Ellie… I…” he was now speechless.

I kept looking at him when I started to touch his belt.
I needed to let him know that I do love him.
We made love long hours.
I never experience this kind of sex in my life.
With George it’s different.
With Nick it was lot of passion and lust.
It was 5am already when ended our 3 round.
It was still little dark outside, but sun was about to rise.
We were quiet for long time until I decided that I had to go.

“I need to go. George must be sick and worried.” I said and get off the bed to look for my clothes.
“I don’t want you to go just yet. I got 5 hours before I leave.”
“You better get some sleep. Howie said that you guys have long trip ahead.” I said smiling.
“You heard us?” He asked and stood up to sit position.
“Yeah. I was actually about to leave that time, but you were already here.”
“So you just thought to come and go to not see me?"
“I was thinking about it.” I said smiling and put my panties back on and after that my bra.
“Please just stay. You should sleep too.” Nick said smiling and surprised me pulling back to bed.
“Nick stop.” I giggled and fall down on the bed under him.
“I have a question.” He asked and looked down to my breasts that was covered with my bras.
“Okay. Why won’t you look into my eyes when you ask me?”
“Sorry. Your bras are just… Wow.” He said and started to kiss my breasts equally.
“Oh gosh. You are making this so hard.” I said and moaned.
“I’m so hard, baby.” He said in horny voice when kept kissing lower to my bellybutton.
“Nick… What is the questioned you wanted to ask?” I asked and giggled.
“Okay. Give me a minute to kiss you little more and remove those bras again.”
“Nick I’m serious.” I said and looked at down to see him licking my body.
“If I had emailed you 10 years ago, would’ve you been married to me?”
“That’s tough question because we will never know.” I said honestly.
“Would it be wrong now to ask you to marry me?” He asked and was now facing to me.
“Nick… This is getting out of hand.” I said and sighed.
“How is this getting out of the hand?”
“I love George and I love you, but I’ve known George much longer.”
“I’m fine with sharing. I just don’t want to lose you again.”
“You have to Nick. This night was so special to me.”
“But not enough to choose me?” he asked.
“I would choose you in the heartbeat if I wasn’t married and in love to George.”
“Shit…” He swore and moved off top of me.
“Please Nick. Try to understand.” I begged.
“Then you should go. Go back to your happy marriage.” Nick said and pointed at the door.
“You are kicking me out?” I asked.
“Just like you kicked me out.” He said.
“Nick.” I said and touched his hand, but he moved his hand away.
“Just go, Ellie. You got what you wanted.” Nick said and get off the bed to bathroom.

I just sat there looking at him walking to bathroom naked.
I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t just want to go and end our night being angry to each other.
I put clothes on and decided to wait him to come back from the bathroom.
I heard him to taking shower and just decided to drink some wine while I waited.
I was in my 2nd glass when he walked out the bathroom only towel around his waist.

“Still here?” he asked.
“I don’t want us to hate each other.” I said and looked at his wet chest.
“I don’t hate you, Ellie. I’m just mad at you.”
“Please don’t be mad at me. Can we just be friends?”
“Hah! Are you offering friends as benefits?” He asked.
“I don’t know. I’m married…”
“And you love George more than me. I get it.” He said and looked at me.

I put wine glass down and walked to him.
We looked at each other for long moments to our eyes.
I touched his cheek gently and smiled.

“I’m going to miss you like crazy, Nick.” I said and gave him soft kiss.
“Don’t miss me too much.” He said smiling and I had to laugh little.
“I won’t promise anything.” I said and took my purse from the arm chair.
“Can I have your number or email address?” He asked and smirked.
“Let’s keep this discreet, Nick. If we are meant to see again then we will.” I said and kissed him once again.

He kissed me back and pulled me to his brace while still only having towel around his waist.
I couldn’t just leave him like this so I removed his towel off of him.

“Ellie… What are you doing?” He asked curious.
“Just want to see sexiest God body ever before I leave.” I said and winked.
“I’m not God. Just man.” he said chuckling.
“Well… You are God to me.” I said and throw the towel to bed.
“I take that as compliment. Can this God have one more kiss?” He asked and smirked.
“Sure. Come here.” I said and leaned my back against the door.
“You are unbelievable Ellie Gilbert.” he said and kissed me passionately.
“Mmmm… Burton. Not Gilbert.” I remind him through kisses.
“You are Gilbert to me.” He said and kept kissing me and touching my body.

After long making out session, I manage to leave.
I checked my watch to see what time it is.
It was 6am already.
What am I going to say to George when I get home?
I could just be honest and tell him the truth, but I didn’t want them to have fist fight.
So I just lied about it and come up with something.

10 Years Later

Nick’s Point of View

Another 10 years and I haven’t heard of her.
I find her from Instagram and Twitter.
I followed her for this day.
Last post she had in Instagram was 2 years ago.
We did sometimes reply to each other to our posts.

I was now 39 years old and still single.
I still got the feeling that I might have a chance to melt Ellie’s heart.
She still was married to George.
At least I think she is.

I decided to go back to Ohio to surprise her cause it’s been 10 years.
This must be our thing to only see each other decade after decade.
This time I drove here myself.
I stopped the car front of Ellie’s house and looked at it for minute.
It still looked the same after 20 years.

There was car parked in the yard.
It meant that someone is home.
I got out the car and locked my car doors.
When I was walking to front door, my heart was bounding so fast.
I took deep breath and ring the doorbell.

Dogs were barking inside and man yelling to dogs to shut up.
Door opened and there was standing unfamiliar young man.
This felt like déjà vu all over again.

“Yes?” Young man asked and kept door closed to not let dogs out.
“Hey. Does Ellie Burton live here?” I asked.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Nick Carter. I’m friend of hers.” I said smiling.
“Oh… Just a minute.” he said and walked in and closed the door.

While I was waiting to door open again, I looked around.
There wasn’t any kids toys outside.
Only motorcycle and same car that I saw 10 years ago.

“Nick?” I heard familiar voice when door opened.
“Hello George.” I said and smiled.
“What are you doing here?” he asked curious.
“Is Ellie home?” I asked and I notice his face turn from confused to sad.
“Come in. We need to talk.” He said and opened the door to let me in.
“Thank you.” I said and walked in and 2 bulldogs came to greet me.
“Dani! Jon! Leave him alone!” young man shouted and dogs moved away.
“Nick. This is my son Eric.” George said.
“Eric… Wow… You must’ve been 6 when I saw Ellie last time.” I said smiling.
“We never met. I’ll take dogs for walk, dad.” Eric said.
“Thanks son.” George said and pointed me to living room.
“So… Where’s Ellie?” I asked and sat down to couch.
“You haven’t heard I guess.” He said and sighed when sat to arm chair.
“Heard what?” I asked.
“Ellie died last year.” George said and tear falls to his cheek.
“Wait what?” I asked surprised.
“Cancer. There wasn’t any way to stop it to spread.” He said and sighed.
“Oh God. I had no idea.” I said and my heart started to get broken.
“I’m sorry man. I asked her if she wanted me to tell you, but she said no.”
“Can I go to see her grave?” I asked.
“Of course you can. I can take you there.” George said and stood up.
“Thanks George.” I said in hoarse voice.

We drove to graveyard where Ellie is buried.
I couldn’t believe she’s gone.
I never had a chance now to have her.
She chose George and I respect that.

“Okay we are here. Go through those gates and 5th row on the left. You can’t miss it.” George said.
“You not coming?” I asked when I unbuckled the seatbelt.
“Nah. I think you want to be alone there.”
“Okay. I won’t be long.” I said and opened the car door.
“Take your time, man.” George said after me when I got out.

I walked past the gate and counted rows.
I past 3 rows and I can already see name Burton.
I walked closer, but then suddenly stopped.
I started to cry when I saw her name on the grave stone.
I walked closer to read to be sure it really was her.

Ellie Michelle Burton Gilbert.
Born: August 5th, 1980.
Died: March 3rd, 2018.

Loved wife, sister and mother.
You’ll be missed.

I fall to my knees and started to cry my eyes out.
“Ellie… Gosh I’m so sorry. If you could’ve let George to let me know, I would’ve…”
My voice cracked when I tried to talk.
“I really don’t know what to say. I came to see you and I end up here.”
“This is not fair Ellie. I wanted to be there for you.”
I looked at the grave stone and sighed.
“I’m going to miss you like crazy, Ellie.”

I could just hear her say back to me:
“Don’t miss me too much.”
“This time I’m going to miss you too much.”
I didn’t have no flower to put to her grave or anything so I thought first thing that came to my mind.

** It’s So Cold
In This Room
And I’m Trapped Inside Your Heart
All By Myself
All Alone
In Your Sea
And I’m Sinking Like A Ship
I’m Going Down
I Don’t Want To Live My Life Without You
The Hardest Thing I Ever Do
Is Try To Pick Myself Up Off The Ground

Trying to Outrun All The Memories
But I keep Falling Down
I Keep Falling Down
And It’s Like You Still Gold A Hold On Me
Cause I Keep Falling Down
I Keep Falling Down **

I finished singing the song I wrote for her.
I wrote that song after I saw her last time.
It was now perfect way to sing it to her.
Now I want to say is: “I’ll see you again, my love. Goodbye, Ellie.”

THE END **Nick Carter 'Falling Down'
End Notes:
Did you cry? ;)
Signs as Sign Language by Jannika
Author's Notes:
Sometimes love is not enough to stay together. You can always read signs wrong as Nick did when he fall in love to Lilith.
Lilith has been deaf since she was born and had a hard to trust anyone. As deaf person, it was hard for her to find love. She thought Nick was it.

Birds flying, cars driving, people chatting… I can only see those things. I’ve been deaf since I was born. I’m glad to have friends though. I didn’t have any friends in grade school. I was bullied a lot. When I went to high school, I get to meet some really good people. I met my translator in high school and we became best friends. Her name is Monica Codrad. I learned to read from the lips over the years when people talked around me.

After High school I wanted to become hairdresser. Monica knew someone who could help me to get started with my so called career. Her name is Rochelle Karidis. I started to be good friends with her. Now we were sitting and talking in the café like we do every day almost. Well in this case she’s talking and I’m reading from her lips.

“He just doesn’t give up.” She said.
“Wha? He’s not?” I asked. I do talk, but unclear. I’m lucky to have friends whose understands me.
“He got balls.” she said.
“He sur do. What is his name again?” I asked and took a sip of my tea.
“AJ, Alex, J… You choose.” She said and drank her coffee same time watching her watch.
“Mmm… I should go back to work.” She said.
“You goin to waitress wole your life?” I asked unclear, but she knew what I asked.
She looked at me smiling.
“No, but I promise you, Lilith. You and I will someday be something great.” She said and stood up.
“Oh shu up. I going too. See you late?” I asked and she hugged me before I left.

December 17th, 2011 it’s Rochelle’s and Alex’s wedding. I couldn’t go that day because that was same day my mom have her birthday. My mom was turning to 50 and she thought it’s not important to celebrate. For me it is important so I took her to restaurant. Dad left us when I was only 1 year old. He told my mom that he is too young to be father. Mom was 20 when she had me and dad was 19. It really was too soon for them, but mom never gave up. She raised me by herself. Never get married later on. She was happy to be my mom over 25 years until I moved out to live with Monica. I’m lucky to have her as roommate and translator at the same time. One night we were watching movie and she suddenly stood up. I asked what is going and she said someone is at the door. Person who was behind the door was Monica’s little sister Susan. She needed place to stay for a while.
Her girlfriend cheated on her. I never met Susan before. She was such a mess. Next morning she was making breakfast. I walked to fridge.

“Good morning.” I said and of course she didn’t remember I can’t hear. I saw her lips and head moving. I waved my hands to her and she looked at me.
“Wha?” I asked.
“Sorry. I forgot you are…” Susan said, but didn’t finish her sentence.
“It’s ok. I’m deaf.” I said smiling.
“How can you understand me then?” she asked.
“I’m reading from your lips.” I said and signed it also.
“I never thought sign language can be sexy.” Susan said smiling. Did she just said that? I felt my cheek blush.
“Oh… I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asked.
“No. Neve hear som one say that.” I said.
“You happen to know any single lesbian?” She asked.
“No. I’m sorry. May be Monica do.” I said. She just shakes her head for no.
“Go to bars?” I asked.
“I don’t do bars. I’m in rehab.” she said.
“Good for you. I neve have drink.” I said and she looks at me surprised.
“Never?” she questioned.
“No. I always be good girl. No guy never ask me out.” I said and started to make coffee.
“Never?” she questioned again and I shake my head for no when looked at her.
“You are gorgeous. I would ask you out if you were lesbian.” she said smiling.
“That very nice of you. I am 31 and no man.” I said and sighed.
“Someday you will.” she said smiling.

Next day Rochelle video called me to ask me to come for lunch. I said I would and asked to Monica to give me a ride. I ringed the bell and AJ opened the door and was standing there smiling.

“You must be Lily?” He asked. I never met him before. I heard he’s in the boy band called The Backstreet Boys.
“Yes. You must be Alex.” I said.
“Yes. Come in.” he said and opened the door for more open to let me in.
“Thank you.” I said and walked in. Rochelle walked to me smiling.
“Lilith. It’s so great to see you.” She said in sign language.
“You too. You look great.” I said back in sign language.
“Oh please. 4 months more and I’m happy to be mother.” she said.
“Oh I want to be mother someday.” I said and we walked to living room.
“Oh Lilith… There’s going to be someone in your life someday.” She sign language to me. I notice her look somewhere and I looked at her curious.
“Babe. Could you open the door?” She asked when I read her lips.
“Got more guests?” I asked in sign language.
“Must be just neighbor.” She said and we walked to kitchen where Rochelle finished the lunch.
“Wan my help?” I asked unclear.
“You could set the table.” She said and pointed to cabinet where I can find plates.

I walked to the cabinet in the diner room and started to look for plates. I saw shadow on the wall and turn around to see person behind me.

“Oh My Goh!” I scared when there was man standing behind me.
“I’m sorry. Just asking if you need help?” he asked. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He talked too fast.
“Wha?” I asked and looked at him.
“What?” He questioned back at me. Rochelle walks to room and says something to him. He turns to me shocked.
“Wow… I’m sorry.” he said.
“About wha?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just going now.” He said and just walked away. I looked at Rochelle.
“Who was that?” I asked in sign language.
“Nick. Alex’s bandmate.” She said in sign language.
“What he was sorry about?” I asked in sign language.
“He didn’t know you are deaf.” she signed to me.
“He didn’t need to just leave.” I signed to her.
“He just came to talk about work.” She signed at me.
“He’s rude I would say. No balls to say why to say he’s sorry.” I signed to her.
“He just broke up with his girlfriend. He’s just sad and pissed.” She signed to me and then AJ walks in.
“Can we put another plate to table?” He asked from Rochelle.
“Why?” Rochelle asked when I read their lips.
“I invited Nick. That’s okay?” He asked.
“Lily? Are you going to be okay if Nick joins us for lunch?” Rochelle asked out loud, but I read from her lips and I only nodded.

I ate looking at all 3 of them talking. I read from their lips. They were talking about unborn baby and so many other things. I sometimes notice Nick looking at my direction and smiled weakly. I had to think of something to get away from them for a while.

“I nee to go batrom” I said unclear voice when I got up.
“Sure. Upstairs, first door on the right.” Rochelle signed for me.
“Is she really deaf?” I read from Nick’s lips when he asked from AJ.
“Jus so you kno… I can read your lips.” I said to Nick unclear voice before I walked to upstairs. He’s so stupid.

“Gosh… Fuck… I’m an idiot.” Nick said when I was gone.
“Way to go, jackass.” AJ said.
“She must think I’m stupid or something. Should I go and talk to her?” Nick asked.
“Just let her be, Nick. Just talk to her when she comes back.” Rochelle said.
“Are you two going to stay and listen?” Nick asked.
“No, but we will from kitchen so… Better be good.” Rochelle said and pulled AJ with her to kitchen.

I walked back to diner room and only saw Nick sitting there alone. I sit to my seat and looked at him. He looked at me and smiled.

“Wha?” I asked.
“I’m sorry if I was rude.” he said.
”Seems lik you hate def people.” I said unclear.
“No. I don’t hate you. I’ve been just…” He said and I finished his sentence.
“Jerk? Asshol?” I questioned. He looks at me and stands up.
“I… I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m pissed at her. I’m sorry if I was stupid. I must’ve ruined your day.” He said and sat next to me to another chair.
“Ro told me. Seem lik ever one aroun me tell me they broke up, going married or have babies…” I said unclear and signed at the same time frustrated. He leans back in his chair and I turn to look at him. He’s smiling again.
“Wha?” I asked.
“Nothing. You just seem to be jealous of people having babies and getting married.” He said.
“Oh no… I not… I neve…” I couldn’t finish my sentence when Rochelle walked in.
“Okay… Who is ready for dessert?” She asked and signed it as well.
“I should go.” I read from Nick’s lips. Please don’t go.
“Yeah? Don’t you want to have small blueberry muffin?” Rochelle asked.
“If he wan to go, let him go.” I said and surprised myself when I said that. Both looked at me. I didn’t want him to go, but I didn’t want to sound desperate.
“I’m jus def. Wha do I know?” I said.
“She’s right. I have things to do.” Nick said and stood up. He’s leaving. Please don’t.
“It was very nice to meet you, Lilith.” Nick said when looked at me. He’s leaving.
“It was very nice to meet you too.” I said and signed it also to him. He turned to look at Rochelle.
“Thank you for the dinner.” Nick said and walked out the house. When am I going to see him?
“Lilith?” Rochelle waved at me to have my attention.
“Wha?” I asked
“What did I interrupt?” She asked in sign language.
“Nothing. He was rude.” I signed back to her. I was lying now?
“But I heard you two talking.” She signed to me.
“You devil. I don’t want to see him again.” I signed to her. Keep lying, Lilith.
“Oh come on, Lily. He’s not so bad. He will be around a lot. You know that.” She signed for me.
“He definitely hates deaf people.” I signed to her.
“He doesn’t. Alex told me that Nick told him that Nick thinks you are very attractive.” She signed to me and smiled. Didn’t see like he did.
“Bullshit. Can you take me home?” I asked in sign language.
“Sure. Want some muffins to go?” She asked and I nodded.

I was back home finally and I was hoping so bad… Really hope I won’t see Nick ever again in my life! I was wrong though. November 27th, 2013 I went to McLean’s house to celebrate their daughter’s birthday. Ava was turning one year old. It’s been 2 years since I saw him. Nick Carter. Most asshole and sexiest person I ever met.
I still remember him asking from Alex if I’m really deaf. Ugh… And pretending that he thinks I’m attractive.
That’s such a bull. No one says deaf people are attractive. Talking is difficult, listening sucks and communication is awful. I walked in their house and greeted Alex’s mom Denise.

“Hey. Good to see you again, Lily.” She said smiling.
“You too. Where is Rochelle?” I asked.
“In the kitchen with other Backstreet wives.” Denise said.
I walked to kitchen and saw all 4 Backstreet wives.
“Hey.” I said and waved shy.
“Lilith… You made it.” Rochelle said excited.
“Of course. I love Ava. She’s cutest little princess I ever seen.” I said smiling.
“She’s such a doll.” one of the Backstreet wives said.
“Oh she surely is. I wish I had a daughter.” Other one said.
“Presents are in the living-room. You can put them in there.” Rochelle said.

I walked to direction of living-room and I greeted people same time on my way to room.
I was closer to gift table and I wasn’t surprised to see Nick here. He was standing close to gift table with some people chatting. I tried to read from his lips what he was talking.

“Bucs will kick Broncos ass next time.” “I’ll drink for that.” “How you know Alex and Rochelle?”

He took sip of his drink he was having. I walked closer to gift table and my heart started to jump like crazy. Why was I feeling like this? I hate this guy. He didn’t see me yet, but when I walked closer to gift table he noticed me and looked surprised. I put gift on the table after I waved him. He waved back to me and turned to talk to same guys again. I was walking pass people and end up to talk to Denise. I was talking like 10 minutes when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to see Nick behind me smiling. Denise left us alone to talk. Gosh he looks so hot. Did I just think of that?

“Hey. How are you?” He asked.
“Good. You?” I asked.
“Good. I’m good. I did another solo album.” He said smiling.
“I rea abou it. I’m Takin Off, right?” I questioned.
“Yes. You heard it?” He asked and I raised my eyes brows up when I looked at him.
“Oh shit… I’m an idiot.” He said.
“Yea you are. It okay thou.” I said smiling.
“It’s not okay. I should’ve been smart about more than that.” He said and sighed.
“I for giv you.” I said unclear and smiled. He looks surprised.
“You do?” He asked and I nodded smiling. He smiled back to me.

We were talking several minutes when I got jumped by AJ touching my shoulder.
“Dam it.” I said when turn to look at AJ.
“Sorry.” AJ signed to me.
“You are such a jerk to scare her like that.” Nick said.
“You are the better talk. If I’m correct, you scared her when you first time met her.” AJ said and put his hand around my shoulder.
“Because I didn’t know she’s deaf, AJ.” Nick said and they started to argue.
“Guys… Stop it.” I said and looked at both.
“Lilith… He’s been jerk. Is he bothering you?” AJ asked from me concern.
“No he’s not. We were talking.” I signed to him.
“I don’t understand, lily.” AJ said.
“I think she said I don’t bother her.” Nick said. AJ looks at me and I nodded.
“Okay then. I’m sorry I interrupted.” AJ said and walked away. I turned to look at Nick.
“Am I bothering you? Just say yes and I’m gone.” Nick said and pointed outside.
“You are no botering me.” I said unclear and signed to him.
“Good. Want a drink? Cola or water?” He asked.
“Coffee. I want coffee.” I said smiling.
“Coffee it is.” He said and we walked to kitchen what was empty. Nick poured coffee to two cups.
“I drink my blak.” I said unclear.
“So do I.” He said and gave me one of the cups. I took cup and take sip of it.
“Is it good?” He questioned and I nodded satisfied.

Day went fast when you are having so much fun. We were singing happy birthday to Ava when Alex brought cake to dinner table. As deaf, I couldn’t hear anything. Everyone’s mouth was moving same time. All were smiling and singing. I tried little too, but I must fail badly. Nick offer to get me piece of cake. I walked to outside sit to bench at the back porch with my coffee. It was lovely day to celebrate birthday. It took 2 minutes when Nick walked to me with two plates, cake on top of it. He gave me one and sat next to me to bench. We were just sitting and eating to not talk. Some people came to say goodbye to us when they left. I wasn’t planning to go just yet. I had so much fun talking with Nick. We talked most of the time in the party. I teach him some easy sign language and I have to admit that he’s quick learner.

“You ar doin great.” I said unclear and signed to him.
“Thank you.” He signed. I correct him little bit by touching his hand to show him how to say Thank You correctly.
“Oh. Sorry.” He said smiling.
“Don be sorry. You are jus learnin.” I said unclear.
“And I say…” He said and signed Thank You. Perfectly this time. I smiled proud when he did that.
“Tha was perfect.” I said unclear and signed to him. He signed Thank You again. I signed You’re Welcome.
“Do you need ride back home?” He asked.
“No. Monica come to get me hom.” I said.
“Who is Monica?” He asked.
“My best frend and roo mate.” I said unclear again.
“Your what?” He looked at me unsure what I just said.
“Best frend…” I tried again and sighed.
“Best friend? Roommate?” He questioned.
“Both. Sorry it hard to understand me.” I said when looked at him.
“I understand you perfectly.” He smiled and I smiled back to him.
“So… Having naked pillows fights?” He asked and smirked.
“No. I won’t eve tell you if we did.” I said laughing.
“Then I’ll just imagine it.” He said and closed his eyes. I stood up to stand front of him looking at him.
“Oh no… Stop.” I begged smiling and playfully hit him.
“Oh wait… Wow… It looks so hot.” He said smiling still eyes closed.
“You are emballassin me.” I said unclear and laughing. He opens his eyes and looks at me.
“You don now?” I asked and he’s just looking at me all in his serious look.
“Wha?” I asked.
“You are so beautiful.” He signed that and I was surprised that he did that correct.
“I’m wha?” I asked again even I knew what he said.
“You know what I said.” He said smiling.
“I’m not beutiful.” I said and looked away. He turns my head to look at him.
“You are so beautiful.” He signed again smiling. I’m screwed right now. His eyes are so BLUE. His lips…
“Lilith…” He looked at me.

I couldn’t move and it felt like we were moving closer to each other. Suddenly I realize we are when our lips met and we had small kiss. I moved away from him quickly and walked away back inside. Did I just kiss him? I was kissing a guy I hate two years. What was happening to me? I sat to empty chair in the diner room. Everyone was gone already. AJ and Rochelle were nowhere to be seen. It was just me and Nick. He then walked in and sat next to me to other chair. I looked at him when he looked at me.

“Why did you run away?” He asked.
“Tha was so sudden and so wong.” I said.
“How is it wrong?” He asked.
“Nick… I hate you. I been hate you sin I met you.” I admit when looked at him. He didn’t look surprised.
“You kiss guys likes that when you hate them?” He asked and I smacked his cheek.
“Fuk you.” I shouted and walked away from him out the house.

I was standing outside 15 minutes when someone touched my shoulder gently. I scare jumped and turn to look at the person.

“Sorry. It’s me.” Rochelle signed to me and I just looked away.
“What happened?” She signed when looked at me.
“He kissed me.” I signed to her and started to cry.
“Who?” She asked.
“Nick. He kissed me and told me I’m beautiful.” I signed to her and cried out.
“Why are you crying then?” She signed to me.
“It’s wrong, Ro. He’s not deaf. I’m deaf. I won’t be able to ever hear his voice.” I signed to her.
“Oh Lily. He kissed you because he likes you. Don’t you remember when I said he thinks you are attractive?”
“I don’t want to believe it.” I signed to her.
“Why?” She signed to me.
“He’s just saying that to make me feel better. I’m not beautiful.” I signed to her.
“Do you hate him?” She signed.
“No. I like him.” I signed.
“You confused me, Lily.” She signed to me.
“I smacked his cheek.” I signed and confessed.
“You didn’t.” Rochelle looked shocked and I nodded.
“What did he do?” Rochelle signed to me.
“He asked if I kiss guys like that when I hate them.” I signed to her.
“He shouldn’t say that. Want me to go in there and give him lesson?” Rochelle signed to me.
“Just take me home. Monica is not coming until in 2 hours and I just want to go home.” I signed.
“You can’t just run away from him.” She signed to me.
“What else I should do?” I asked in unclear voice.
“Talk to him.” She said.

I really didn’t have another choice here so we walked back inside. Rochelle asked me to wait at the kitchen. I didn’t know what was going on. I notice Rochelle being furious at the door frame when walked to diner room. I couldn’t quite understand what she said, but she pointed her finger to my direction. Alex then walked to her to make her calm. He saw me watching and smiled to my direction and moved Rochelle with him out of my sight. I walked to see closer and looked to diner room. No one was there. Where did they go? I kept walk around the house and kept looking for someone. I end up to upstairs and saw some shadows coming from the room. There were only 2 shadows and they were like dancing, but I doubt these two didn’t. I walked closer to door and peeked inside. AJ and Rochelle were talking. It might’ve of been arguing this point, because their mouth moved so fast and hands were going different directions. I tried to read some words from them.

“Nick is…” “He need to…” “Which side are…”

They were talking about Nick. Rochelle must have told AJ what happened. I tried to read some more. I tried to focus on AJ this time and caught some words.

“He’s outside…” “He better be sorry.”

I moved away from the door and walked downstairs to see if Nick was outside. I walked to slide doors and looked through the slide door window to outside. He was sitting on the bench where we sat before. I knew I couldn’t walk quietly to him because he could hear me and I didn’t know if I was loud. I decided to just open door normally and I was right when he turn to my direction right after I walked out. He stood up and looked at me. I closed the door and then walked to closer to him. We really didn’t say anything to each other. I was afraid to look to his eyes. I might start crying. He took first step closer to me and pulled me to a hug. His lips touched my neck gently and I sensed him talk against my skin. I concentrate what he said. He was repeating it over and over until I knew what he said. He was apologizing. He said “I’m sorry” over and over again. I finally understand what he said. I tight my hands around him and hugged him. I said out loud I’m sorry too and let him know I understood him. We were hugged for moment and then Nick moves away from the hug and walks past me. I turn around to look at him, but he talks to AJ.

“I told you to not hurt her!” AJ yelled at him. I was shocked what he meant by that.
“I said I’m sorry. She and I are good now.” Nick said and looked at AJ.
“How should I believe you? Maybe you are just pretending to be sorry.” AJ said.
“Screw you, J!” Nick said and looked now pissed.
“What did you just said?” He questioned and begged him to say it again.
“I said. Screw. You.” He said and then AJ’s fist hit hard to Nick’s face. Nick touched his face to see blood.
“That was mistake.” Nick said and started to fish fight with AJ.
“Stop it!” I tried to scream, but they kept fighting on the ground.
“You promise to be nice to her!” AJ yelled middle of fight.
“I am!” Nick said when AJ hold him on the ground.
“STOP!” I kept shouting, but wasn’t sure if I was loud enough.
“Didn’t seem like it when you ask her stupid questions!” AJ yelled and hit him in the face.
“Rochelle!” I shouted when ran to inside. Rochelle walked to me and I just pointed to Nick and AJ.
“What are they fighting about?” Rochelle asked and walked outside. I followed Rochelle.
“I already said I’m sorry!” Nick yelled and kicked himself off of him.
“That’s not enough!” AJ shouted and dived at him when Nick’s back hit the tree.
“AJ! STOP IT ONCE!” Rochelle shouted and I could feel her anger shaking on the ground.
“You told me what he said to Lily!” AJ shouted and kept pushing Nick against the tree.
“I didn’t ask you to kill him! Let him go!” Rochelle shouted and pulled AJ off of Nick.
“I told Lilith I’m sorry.” Nick said breathless when fall down to sit on the ground against the tree.
“I fucking know you, Nick! You just pretend to like her.” AJ shouted.
“Think what you want. When I told you I thought she’s attractive, I meant it.” He said and looked at me.
“She hates you, dude. She won’t believe every word you say. You are womanizer and always will be.” AJ said.
“I don hate him.” I said unclear when I was standing still looking at them. All 3 of them looked at me.
“He’s not good for you, Lilith. He will eventually break your heart.” AJ said.
“Will you jus shu up!” I shouted at AJ and his looked shocked.
“He said he’s sorry.” I signed to Rochelle and she translated to guys.
“See? I told you and you didn’t believe me.” Nick said to AJ and stood up on the ground.
“Ro… Please make sense to them and say that this is not working.” AJ begged.
“I’m not going to stop them dating. So what she’s deaf. Nick will learn eventually sign language.” Rochelle said. AJ shook his head and just walked away to inside.
“Oh Ro… I will suck badly with sign language.” Nick said and walked little closer to us.
“How you think I learned?” Rochelle asked smiling and then left me and Nick alone.

I looked at Nick and saw his face being bad shape. He was bleeding little bit and I started to touch his face.
He winched when I touched small cut on his corner of eye brow. I really don’t know what is going on between two of us, but I think AJ is right. I’m deaf and communication with Nick is going to be horrible. . I had to talk to Nick about this. He deserve so much better than me. He needs someone that can communicate with him. Talk with him. Hear him sing. He is handsome guy I ever met, but I know in deep in my heart that he’s not for me. He took my hand to his and kissed it gently. He’s gentleman. He looks to my eyes and touched my cheek gently. Mom once told me that words don’t usually need to be said when you love someone. End of the day, Nick gave me ride back home because Monica video called me and said that she had emergency with her work. When Nick stopped at my house he looked at me smiling. We talked for several minutes and before I got out the car he asked me out on a date and I said yes right away.

We had our date in his house week later. We really didn’t want to be spotted in public. We were in his kitchen and he was cooking. I love man who can cook. I have no idea what he was doing for us. He said it’s going to be healthy and delicious. I started to believe him. His house looks so beautiful from the outside as inside. It’s near the ocean and the beach. While Nick was cooking, I decided to look outside through the window. It was gorgeous view. Sun was already setting down. I don’t have this kind of view from my house. I was getting jealous just for this view. Now I just wanted to stand here every night watch sun going down and every morning sun coming up. That was just the fantasy. I saw Nick’s reflection on the window when he walks to me. I just stand still and wait him to stand next to me, but he stops right behind me and put his hands around my waist. This man can be very smooth and gentle. His reflection was clear and I can read from his lips when he says, “You looks so beautiful standing here.” I was smiling and he smiled too. He spoke again, “Dinner is almost ready. What you want for drink?” I turn to look at him and smiled and keep his hands on my waist.

“Wate is fin.” I said smiling.
“Sure. I have wine too if you like.” He said and touched my cheek.
“I don drink.” I said. He looked at me surprised.
“You in rehab?” He asked and I shook my head for no.
“I neve had drink.” I said.
“Let me get this right. You never had alcohol in your life?” He asked and shook my head for no.
“Wow. You surprised me again.” He said smiling.
“Whe I surprise you last time?” I asked.
“When you slapped me.” He said and chuckled.
“Huh… I was thinkin mor lik I can defen myself.” I said smiling.
“That too. Way to go shut AJ up.” He said smiling.
“Thank You.” I signed to me. I started to smell something and looked at Nick.
“You smell tha?” I asked and Nick ran to back to kitchen. I had to chuckle little.

I followed him and looked at him take food out the oven. He almost burned the damn food. I chuckled out loud and he turned to look at me. I kept laughing. He walked to me and mouthed me why I was laughing.
I try to explain, but I just kept laughing. He smiled and looked at me keep laughing.

“You distracted me.” He said smiling.
“Me?” I questioned and pointed at me.
“Yes. Your beauty distracted me so much that I forgot the food.” He said and touched my face gently.
“Beauty.” I signed at him when I also said out loud. He repeated it with his hands and before I can do anything, he moved closer to me and our lips met softly.
“Nick…?” I questioned when we kissed and he looked at me.
“What?” He asked and kissed me again.
“Dinner. I’m hunry.” I said and chuckled.
“It’s ruined.” He said when looked at me.
“Let me see.” I said and walked past him to look at the food. He made us tuna cassarole and it was burned on top. I took fork and poke it deep to see inside. I took a bite carefully and eat it. It was very hot and so delicious. I looked at Nick and smiled.
“It’s good?” He questioned and I nodded.
“Delious.” I said and licked the fork clean.
“Let’s eat then.” He said smiling.

After dinner we sat in his porch looking to the sea. He wanted me to teach him little more about sign language. Only person I teach sign language was Rochelle. She learned in 1 year lots of it and after that she got better and better. Tease days she’s doing it like she’s been doing it her whole life. I wanted to kind of teach Nick and make him doing it. Maybe it could help us with communication in the future. Nick asked me to teach him how to say I Love You. It’s one of the easiest. I show it to him slow first so he could keep up. He did very good job first time, but needed to fix where his fingers needed to be and what position. I asked him to show me after I showed it to him 6 times now. I looked at him and he was suddenly very nervous. He looked at me and I looked at him. He started to sign it for me and I smiled and nodded. He tried one more time and again and again… I had to make him stop. I put my hands on his and told him he did it good. We moved to other things and after that for another. I was getting chilled outside and Nick took me to his arms to warm me up. It was nice to sit near him when he was so warm. I knew time was about to get very late and Monica might wonder where I was. I lifted my arm to look at my watch and it was almost midnight.

“Are you going to leave now?” He asked and looked at me.
“I can’t jus stay.” I said and looked at him.
“Why not?” He asked.
“Well… This was or firs dat.” I said in unclear and he turned me in his lap to face him.
“I want you to stay.” He signed at me. I smiled surprised when he signed to me.
“You sign wron, bu I understoo you.” I said unclear voice and signed too.
“I… Learned… That… Before… You… Came… Here.” He said and signed slowly to make me understand.
“Wow… I impress…” I said and touched his chest gently. He pulled me close to him from my butt cheeks.
“Hey… Behav.” I said giggling and put my hands around his neck.
“I never behave. I just want you to be close to me tonight.” He said and kissed me gently.
“Ar we talkin abou sex?” I asked and leaned my head backwards to look at him.
“No. We are not.” He said smiling and touched my waist.
“If we ar not then I go home.” I said and got off his lap to stand up.
“Lilith…” He pulled me back to his lap and made me look at him.
“Wha?” I asked when looked at him.
“Did I heard right that you want to have sex with me?” He asked and I got blushed.
“No. I jus think you want it.” I said and looked at him.
“What made you think that way?” He asked and touched my cheek with his both hands.
“You say you wan me to be clos to you tonite.” I said and looked at him.
“Yeah. Just sleeping and nothing more. ” He said smiling.
“I woud lik tha.” I said smiling and got more comfortable on his lap.

After that night Nick and I started to keep seeing each other. We were very discreet from the world. 6 months later there were some pictures of me and Nick walking in the park. When people asked Nick who I was he only said that I was very good friend. We talked about what Nick is going to say to media. I told him that I wasn’t quite ready to media know about me. Fans had already wroting awful things about me. How fat I am, how ugly looking I am… One thing they didn’t know was that I am deaf. We don’t want them know that or else fans could think of hurt me or something. I have to admit that I was very scared. Being Backstreet Boy’s girlfriend is risky and dangerous for girl like who can’t hear anything. Past these 6 months, Nick has learned so much about sign language. I was proud of myself and proud of him. Our conversation was so much easier cause of Nick learning sign language. It was very hot to see him talk sign language.
We’ve been so close to each other, but we haven’t had sex yet. I’m still virgin and he knows that. He tells me that he will wait as long as it’s takes. “Whenever you are ready.” he said one night. That was 4 months ago. It was already July and next day is Independence Day. I thought July 4th is perfect day to have sex with him very first time. Nick invited me to his place to stay whole week. Week before coming to his house, I asked Monica advice what to wear that night when we are having sex.
She took me to mall shopping and we end to Victoria Secrets shop. I stopped at the front of the store.

“What’s wrong?” Monica signed asking.
“I don’t know about this.” I signed to her.
“Oh come on, Lily. He would go crazy to see you wear VS underwear.” Monica signed to me.
“It’s not my style.” I signed frustrated.
“Let Nick decide that. Let’s just look around and decided then, okay?” Monica signed to me.

Eventually we found something after 2 long hours. I’m not big fan of girly underwear. Silky, lace or leather… Those are not really my thing. I’m mostly boyish type of girl. I liked use boxers for women or boring looking panties. Here I was now in Nick’s bathroom wearing blue thongs and matched bra. I was so fucking uncomfortable. Nick even noticed it when I was squirming on my seat when we ate. I’m never going to listening Monica again.

“Are you okay, Lilith?” Nick asked me.
“Not really.” I signed to him and keep squirming.
“Why are you moving like that?” Nick signed asked me.
“I shouldn’t tell you before bedtime.” I signed to him and sighed.
“It looks like you have something in your pants when you move like that.” He signed at me when laughed.
“I’m wearing a thongs, alright?” I signed at him embarrassing and looked down to my plate.

I couldn’t look up to look at him. Whole night was going to be ruined because these stupid thongs I’m wearing. I notice Nick walking towards me and then I looked at him.

“Thongs?” He signed asking me and smirked.
“Shut up.” I signed to him.
“You want to remove them and change to something comfortable?” He signed.
“And you want to watch me while I do it.” I signed to him.
“I can wait down here.” He signed and smiled.
“Good. I hat thes fuckin thons.” I said unclear voice and stand up off the chair.
“Why are you wearing them?” He asked.
“Monica thought it could be sexy.” I signed to him and he lifted his eye brows.
“Sexy for what?” He asked signed.
“Can I just go and remove them?” I asked.
“Maybe I want to see them on you before you remove them.” He signed to me.
“Not a chance.” I signed and ran fast to upstairs laughing, but Nick already stopped me middle of stairs.
“Nick!” I screamed when he lift me to his shoulder and carried me to bedroom. He put me down to bed to sit. I look at him confused.
“What are you doing?” I asked in signed.
“I want to see the thongs.” He signed to me.
“No way!” I signed and pushed him out of the room.
“Oh come on, Lily.” He signed when stands outside the bedroom looking at me.
“Get back downstairs.” I signed to him and closed the door.

I finally changed the thongs to more my style of underwear. I walked back to downstairs and Nick was sitting on the couch at the living room. He must’ve heard me coming down when he turn to look at me.

“Feeling better?” He signed asked me.
“Way better. God I hate thongs.” I signed and sat next to him.
“Why to wear something that you don’t like?” He signed asked smiling.
“To look nice to my boyfriend.” I signed smiling.
“By nice you mean sexy?” He signed asked. He pulled me close to him.
“You are seducing me, aren’t you?” I sign asked when sat on him when he lay on the couch under me.
“Maybe. Is it working?” He mouthed to me and put his hands to my butt cheeks.
“Definitely.” I mouthed back to him when rubbed myself against to him.
“Lilith? What are you doing?” he said while looking at me.
“Nothing.” I said unclear and smiled while touching his chest gently.
“It looks like you are seducing me.” he signed and looked at me.

I was starting to feel hot and so damn nervous. Was I going to do my first time on this couch?
We were watching each other long moments and touching each other. It was really getting hot in here.
He moved his hands from my butt cheeks to under my shirt on my back and reach to kiss me deeply.
I sighed after our lips departed and touched his face. He notice me being odd little bit.

“Are you okay?” He asked and I nodded.
“We don’t have to do something you don’t want to.” He signed to me.
“I know, but I think we had waited too long. That’s why I um… Bought the thongs.” I signed and looked at him shy.
“Have I told you yet that my girlfriend is smocking hot?” He signed asked me.
“Girlfriend? When can I meet this smocking hot girlfriend of yours?” I signed asked him and flirted.
“She’s sitting on my lap right now. She’s most greatest kisser.” He signed to me and puts his lips to mine.
“Hmm… My boyfrend can kiss.” I said unclear voice and kept kissing him deeply.

That night was best night I ever had in my life. While fireworks were exploded in the sky, Nick and I have sex and made our own fireworks if you know what I mean. I never thought sex is so amazing and so damn passionate. He was so gentle and sweet. He was sometimes asking to make sure I was okay and if he is hurting me. I shook my head even first it did, but then it started to feel more and more amazing. After sex, we lay down on the bed, he holding me close to him. I can still see fireworks outside in the sky. It was very colorful night and I won’t ever forget this night.

Next morning Nick surprised me big time when he asked me to move in with him. I said yes after he kept begging and begging. He explained why we should. He used the most sense excuse ever. We had been dating almost 6 months and I mostly kind of lived in his house. In my move day month later, mom came to help me. She met Nick very first time. Mom was surprised when she saw how well Nick did with sign language. They talked and came along so well. I was watching them in the living-room chit chatting.

“You got beautiful house, Nick. I can’t imagine better place to my daughter to live in.” My mom said smiling.
“Thank you, Deanna. I fall in love with the place when I first time saw it.” Nick said.
“And the view is so beautiful. I bet it gorgeous when is sunrise.” Deanna said smiling.
“And sundown too.” I signed to have their attention to me.
“How long you been standing there watching us?” mom signed to me.
“Quite a while.” I signed and walked to closer to them.
“You are very sneaky for deaf person.” mom signed smiling.
“She’s full of surprises.” Nick signed and then pulled me to his lap to sit.
“Hey… My mom is here.” I said unclear voice when I tried to get off his lap.
“Oh honey… Don’t be like that. He loves you. I can tell.” Mom signed smiling. Did she just say that?

I turned to look at mom shocked. It really wasn’t her business to tell me that. I turned to look at Nick and waited him say something. Did I miss something while they were talking? Nick looked to my eyes smiling.

“What is she talking about?” I signed asked from Nick.
“She’s right. I love you, Lily.” he said and touched my face gently.
“Is that other reason why you asked me to move?” I signed asked.
“I thought it was obvious. Do you love me?” Nick asked.
“You two never said those words to each other?” mom asked from Nick when I didn’t look at her.
“No. I just thought she does love me.” Nick said and lifted me off his lap before walked upstairs.

I looked shocked when Nick just left. I was about to go after him, but my mom stops me and shakes her head for no. She points to sit down where Nick sat earlier. I sat down and sighed.

“Lilith. You’ve been with him over 6 months and never said I love you?” She signed asked me.
“Please mom. Don’t start.” I signed to her.
“Start what? He loves you. Why else he would ask you to move in?” Mom signed asked me.
“We’ve been dating over 6 months. And we enjoy our company.” I signed to her.
“Oh my sweet daughter. That’s not a reason 2 people are moving in.” She signed to me.
“What was I supposed to say to him as an answer?” I signed asked.
“First of all… Important question is do you love him?” She signed asked me.

I couldn’t answer her because I didn’t know. I stood up and walked to backyard porch to sit to think.
Nick made perfect sense why to move in, but never mentioned that he loves me. Do I love him?
I don’t know what love is. I never loved someone. Why was I here? Am I here only because he loves me?
Did I make wrong decision to say yes to move in with him? I have so many questions to answer.
Nick walked back to downstairs and noticed me being gone.

“Where’s Lilith?” He asked worried.
“She’s outside sitting on the porch. She’s avoiding my question.” She said.
“What did you ask?” He asked looking at her.
“I asked if she loves you, but never answered. She just walked out.” She said.
“I really do love your daughter, Deanna. I don’t give a shit what people think of her.” Nick said in honest.
“I’m just worried about my sweet baby girl. She’s confused, but same time so happy.” She said.
“Deanna? Now that she can’t read us talking. Do you think she will marry me?” He asked when looked at her.
“Oh Nick… She doesn’t even know does she love… Wait… Marry you?” She asked shocked.
“I was planning propose to her in Thanksgiving, but I’m kind of worried she would say no.” Nick said and sat to chair.
“I would like to have you as son in law. You’ve been so good to my girl. I think she just need some time to think of things. She will eventually come to you.” She said smiling.
“Yeah I know how she is. Not our first fight if you could call it that.” Nick said and sighed.
“You’ve been fighting?” She asked shocked.
“Just small stupid fights, but in the end we make out.” He said smiling.
“Couples do fight. I never had that chance with anyone.” She said.
“You raised Lilith all by yourself. She told me all about it.” He said.

I decided to walk back inside, but I stopped to see them talk. I stayed hidden to read their talking. When Nick sat down to chair I read from mom’s lips word Son-in-law. I was so confused about what they were talking. I didn’t want to stay to find out. So I ran away. I just walked on the beach and follow it as long as my feet can take me. I had no my phone, purse or money with me. I really don’t know where I was going. One thing was on my mind and I kept thinking was Nick going to ask me to marry him? 7 months we’ve been dating and he was already thinking to propose. I wasn’t ready for that. I never even say I love you to him. He would hate me for this rest of his life when I’m running away. I walked to Rochelle’s and AJ’s front door and knock it.

I waited few seconds when door opens. AJ was standing there. I asked if Rochelle is home and he let me in. I told them what happened and I just wanted them to hide me in their house. AJ thought it’s wrong to stay hidden from Nick and not talking about whole thing. Rochelle was good friend and let me stay. I asked her if I could have some money for bus ride. She was curious of where I would be going. I told I have cousin in Las Vegas. My cousin would let me stay at her penthouse. You wonder what she is doing for living, she’s host in the casino hotel. So here I was deciding to go Las Vegas and being hidden.

. Rochelle took me to bus station next day and looked that I was getting to right bus. We said out goodbyes and I get to bus. Just about when bus started to move I saw Nick run to Rochelle, AJ right behind him. He looked directly back of the bus and looked hurt and pissed at the same time. I tried to stay hidden to not look outside from the bus window. When I was clear to get up, I texted (Rochelle’s old cellphone) to mom to let her know I’m fine and I just need to be left alone. Mom was confused why I left like that and kept asking what was going on. Rochelle texted to me, to let me know that she will not tell Nick where did I was going.

I lived in Vegas over 2 years now. I was my cousin’s roommate in her penthouse. I was living luxury. After living 4 months with my cousins, she got huge news to me. She said that she could find a way to make my hearing back. She took me 4 different doctors and last one of them decided to give it a try to put hearing device to my head. It sounded so bad and complicated. I was confused. Why they couldn’t just let me have those normal hearing devices like some deaf people does. Doctor Graham talked clear language that I only could have device in my head. I’ve been deaf since I born so they thought normal device wouldn’t help me to hear so… I took a risk with the surgery and here I am happily alive and hearing voices I haven’t heard before. It was weird to hear my cousin’s voice very first time. I let my mom know about the whole surgery, but I asked her to not tell anyone anything. After 8 months from surgery, I was like any normal girl in this world. I could hear things. Music, laughter, cars, birds… Everything.

I have a job at the hairdresser shop near the building where I live. I was getting along so well with the girls that worked there. I didn’t know them well, but I know them enough to know about their families and likes. They’ve been best friends since they were kids and always wanted to have their own business together.

It was Friday and I was working with Mimi and Kat that day. Other two workers Anna and Gigi came to shop excited and jumping. I was bit curious what was going on. I was cutting our last customer of the day when Anna shouts excited.

“Guess who is performing at the casino where Lilith’s cousin’s working?”
“Lenny Kravitz?” Mimi questioned.
“No. Any guess Lily?” Gigi asked.
“I really don’t know. I’m not usually into music.” I said and focus to costumer’s hair.
“Oh come on. Guess something.” Anna begged.
“Okay. Let me think.” I stopped working costumer’s hair for second to think.
“Tom Jones?” I questioned.
“Oh god he’s so old, Lilith. And no it’s not.” Anna said smiling.
“Then tell us. Olivia looks curious too.” Mimi said and pointed the costumer.
“I kind am.” Olivia said and I continued cutting.
“You ready girls?” Gigi asked and we nodded.
“Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys.” Anna and Gigi said the same time. I stopped cutting in shocked.
“Oh My God! Really?” Kat asked excited. Girls started to talk about Nick while I was in my thoughts until Olivia got my attention.
“What?” I asked when looked at Olivia.
“Are you okay?” Olivia asked.
“Yeah. Just got surprised that he’s doing solo music.” I said and lied.
“He’s very famous here.” Olivia said smiling. I smiled back too and focus to her hair again.

I was done with Olivia’s hair 15 minutes later. She payed and walked out the shop. I started to clean up my mess. While I was cleaning up, Gigi called me by my name.

“What?” I asked and looked at 4 girls.
“Wanna come to club with us?” Gigi asked smiling.
“I think I’ll just stay home and watch Friends whole weekend.” I said and sighed.
“Oh come on. It’s Friday night and we want you to come.” Mimi said and I looked at all 4. I finally nodded and girls started to be excited.

We walked to club 3 hours later. It’s 9pm when I watched my wrist watch. I never had been in the club before. Music was loud and people were dancing and drinking. We stand still and looked around.

“Are we going to dance floor first or getting drinks?” Gigi asked.
“I’m so going to dance floor.” Anna said and walked towards dancefloor with Kat and Mimi.
“What about you?” Gigi asked me.
“I’m just staying at the bar.” I said and pointed at the bar.
“You are very boring person, Lily. Just come with me to dance.” Gigi said smiling.
“I don’t know how to dance.” I admit to her.
“I’ll teach you. You are not wearing that black dress and high heels for nothing.” Gigi said. I looked at my dress and high heels.
Old me wouldn’t ever wear clothes like this and high heels, but I needed to change.
“Fine. I’ll come.” I said and sighed.

We walked to girls and Gigi started to dance like she had danced before. I was feeling uncomfortable first, but girls started to show me moves. I was actually having fun. Sometimes I can see some guys checking me out and smiling to my direction. I really wasn’t here to look any company. I was just here having girls night.
It was getting hot when girls and I stopped dancing. We walked to one empty booth to sit and Mimi and Kat went to buy us drinks.

“Having fun?” Gigi asked me smiling.
“I’m surprised that I’m having fun.” I said and then Anna comes to us looking like she has just won in the lottery.
“Why you are looking so happy?” Gigi asked.
“OMG… Where’s Mimi and Kat?” Anna asked when sat other side of table.
“Getting drinks, why?” Gigi asked.
“I was just talking this guy on the right corner over there.” Anna said and pointed to guy who was chatting with other guy.
“And?” I asked confused.
“When I looked up to second floor balcony to see some people, I saw him.” Anna said smiling.
“Saw who?” Mimi asked when get to table with Kat.
“Nick is here.” Anna said so excited.
“He is?” Kat asked surprise.
“Yup. I tried to get up there, but it’s VIP area.” Anna said and sighed.
“How we can get up there and talk to him?” Mimi asked.
“What are you going to do if you do get up there?” Gigi asked.
“Ask if he could dance with me, of course.” Mimi asked.
“Well you can always ask security guy if he can go and ask him the question.” Kat said and drank her drink.
“I’ll do it.” Gigi said ad stood up. I looked at her shocked.
“Why? Why? Why would you do that?” I asked so shocked that girls looked at me weird.
“Because he’s handsome. You’ve been so quiet, Lilith.” Gigi said.
“It’s just… If he would want to ask you dance he would come himself.” I explained.
“And I heard he’s engaged.” Kat said and looked at us.
“When did you were going to mention that?” Mimi asked.
“I just heard… I thought it could be rumor.” Kat said.
“Well I’m going up there to find out.” Gigi said and walked toward stairs to second floor.

4 of us moved to better seat to watch if Gigi managed to get there. Lucky for me I can still read lips. I focused to read what they were talking.

“Hey. This is VIP area. Back to stairs please.” security guy said.
“I was just wondering if you could ask Mr. Carter if he could join me to dancefloor.” Gigi said smiling.
“Why would I do that?” security guy asked.
“I’m just being nice and polite. Could you please ask?” Gigi asked. Security guy looked to other security guy.
“Stay here to look after her.” He said and walked to direction where Nick was sitting with some people.
“Nick? There’s girl asking if you want to go dance with her. What shall I say?” security guy asked.
“I’m not mood dancing now.” Nick said and looked to Gigi’s direction.
“Am I going to say you are not interested?” Security guy asked. Nick looked to his friends and excuses himself and walked to Gigi. As polite as usually he is, he smiled to Gigi before talks.
“Hey. What’s your name?” He asked.
“I’m Gigi. Just wondering if you want to dance?” Gigi asked very polite.
“I’ve been dancing all night and I’m very tired. I can buy you a drink.” Nick said.
“Well I could use a drink. I’ve been dancing all night too with my friends.” Gigi said and that was my queue to turn away. Now I didn’t know what was going on so I asked from girls.
“What’s happening?” I asked.
“Nick looked this direction and waved to us smiling. They are still talking.” Mimi said.
“They are walking this way.” Kat said. I looked carefully to see it myself.
“I need to use bathroom.” I said hurry and walked to direction of bathroom.

I walked to ladies room and looked for empty booth to hide myself. I locked to door and sat to toilet seat. After all these years, I’m seeing him here. I don’t look the same, but it doesn’t mean that he could recognise me. My hair was longer, my clothing style was different, I’m wearing a thong… Yes I’m wearing a thong. I was now totally different woman. I was getting over him, but past always bites my ass. I decided it was good to go back now. I got out the booth and washed my hands. Two girls were walking in and started to gossip when they started to redo their makeup.

“Nick looks so sexy tonight. I’m so going to try to hit that ass.” Blonde one said.
“Do you think he would agree to threesome?” Brunette asked while putting lipstick to her lips.
“Those 4 girls there don’t have fucking chance. They are little kids for compare to us.” Blonde said.

I was about to walk out the bathroom when brunette yelled after me, but I pretended to be deaf. One of them touched my shoulder and I turned to look at the brunette one.

“I was talking to you.” Brunette said.
“What?” I asked to pretend to be deaf.
“I said…” Brunette said, but I stop her talking.
“I’m deaf. Sorry.” I said and walked out the bathroom.
“Why deaf girl would come to club? They can’t even hear music.” Brunette asked confused.

I looked to bar and see girls talking with Nick. He seemed to buy all of them drinks. Gigi sees me and I waved her to come to me. She excuses herself and walks to me.

“What’s wrong?” Gigi asked and I moved her to face to me when my back was on girls and Nick.
“I can’t stay much longer.” I said and sighed.
“Oh come on. Nick bought us drinks.” Gigi asked and looked behind me.
“I don’t really care.” I said and looked at Gigi. She looked at me confused.
“Why not? What you have against him?” Gigi asked.
“Remember when I told you girls about the guy I use to date?” I asked and she nodded.
“Well…” I started, but I nodded my head Nick’s direction.
“No… You and…?” Gigi asked shocked and I nodded.
“I’m speechless… Oh shit… He’s walking this way.” Gigi said.
“What am I going to do?” I asked and then she pulled me to her arms.
“Pretend that you’ve been drinking too much.” Gigi said and I shook my head.
“I’ll just go back to bathroom.” I said and walked to bathroom and I already forget those 2 girls in there.
“Great. Deaf girl is back here.” Blonde said when kept her look on mirror. I just only walked to same booth and locked it. I was listening what those two girls were talking.
“I’m so ready to go there and ask Nick for dance.” Blonde said if I was correct that was her.
“Hush… I think I heard his voice.” other one said and I heard door open. Next there was exciting voices.
“Oh Gosh. You are Nick Carter, right?” I heard one of them ask.
“Yeah. That’s me.” I heard Nick said.
“Can I dance with you?” One of them asked.
“I’m actually talking with a friend here. I’m sorry.” I heard Nick said.
“Well could you after that?” This girl wasn’t giving up.
“I’m about to go soon anyway so I’m sorry.” Nick tried to be polite as possible.
“Whatever.” I heard and then door got shut. It didn’t take 1 minute when door opened again.
“Lily?” I heard Gigi call me by my name.
“What?” I answered.
“You are hiding. Just come out and be a woman.” Gigi said and stands front of the booth I’m in.
“I told you I don’t want to see him.” I said and walked out the booth.
“Just walk in there and go see him. He just went back to girls. I think he deserves to talk to you.”
“I never talked to him while I can hear.” I said and washed my hands.
“Are you saying you dated him while you were deaf?” Gigi asked surprised and I nodded.
“How that worked?” She asked.
“He learned sign language. Should I pretend to be deaf?” I asked in mischief voice.
“Let me text to girls to know.” Gigi said smiling and texted.

We were finally ready to go. I followed Gigi back and I was so nervous. Girls promised to be in game to pretend me to be deaf.

“Nick. Meet our friend, Lilith.” Mimi said smiling and pointed Gigi’s direction. I was still standing behind her, but not hiding. He turned to look my direction and I was now facing to him.
“Lily?” Nick questioned surprised.
“Hi Nick.” I signed to him.
“You live here?” He signed asked me.
“Oh my god… You can sign to her?” Kat asked and acted surprised.
“Yeah. She taught me.” Nick said out loud and I smiled shy.
“So you two know each other?” Mimi asked.
“Yeah we do.” I said out loud in my new normal voice. Nick turned to me shocked look.
“Wait… You sound different.” Nick signed and talked to me.
“Because she can hear you.” Anna said and smirked.
“Anna… You ruined it.” Gigi said.
“Wait, wait…” Nick made us stops talking.
“You can hear me?” Nick asked and looked at me.
“Yeah. I had surgery. Not a big a deal.” I said and sighed.
“Where the fuck were you all these years?!” Nick asked shouting.
“Please don’t yell at me.” I said and walked past him to take my stuff next to Mimi.
“You disappear on me and never came back!” He kept shouting.
“Don’t you yell at her.” Gigi said and I only walked outside the club.
“Lily! Wait!” Nick shouted and ran after me when I was just walking.
“Leave me alone.” I said and kept walking, but my high heels didn’t let me walks so fast.
“Just talk to me. Please stop walking.” He said and was now front of me to face me.
“Talk about what? Why I left?” I asked and looked at him. He didn’t answer me. He looked me over.
“What?” I asked and sighed.
“You look so different. You are wearing high heels and short dresses…” He said and looked surprised.
“So? I live here now and I just needed to change. So answer me. Talk about what?” I asked.
“When did you have surgery? Did your mother know?” He asked.
“My surgery was 2 years ago. 4 months after I left.” I said.
“And your mom, did she knew?” He asked and I nodded.
“Just tell me what happened?” He asked worried.
“Marriage. That’s what happened.” I said and pushed him aside and walked again.
“Wait what?” He asked and followed me and stopped me once again.
“Were you going to propose to me?” I asked and looked at Nick.
“How did you know?” He asked surprised.
“I can read people’s lips, remember? Mom said she would love to have you as son-in-law.” I said and he stayed quiet.
“So it’s true. You were going to. When?” I asked.
“Thanksgiving.” He said.
“Well then. Now you know why I ran.” I said and turn around to walk towards girls.
“Lily wait.” Nick said and stopped me again and stands front me. Again.
“Nick… You told me that same day you love me and… I never said it back. I’ve been keep thinking about it all these years and I get it now. I don’t.” I said honestly.
“Then why did you say yes to move in with me?” He asked.
“You made it sound so…” I tried to look right words.
“You don’t have to say it. You could’ve just talk to me than just ran away.” He said.
“I got scared okay? And I never loved you so…” I said and sighed.
“What about the Independence Day? Didn’t that meant anything to you?” He asked.
“It did. It was most forgettable night I ever had.” I said and looked at him.
“But not enough to love me?” He asked.
“I’m sorry Nick, okay? I heard you are engaged.” I said politely.
“Yeah. She at least said yes.” Nick said and crossed his arms.
“Believe me what I’m saying. I’m happy for you. You deserve her more than you deserve me.” I said.
“Gosh Lilith… I really cared about you and I meant every word I said. I loved you.”
“I believe you. I knew you did.” I said smiling.
“So how are you? Do you have someone in your life?” He asked.
“I only have my girls and my cousin. No love life or anything. Never date anyone after you.” I said.
“I feel so special.” Nick said sarcastic.
“I’m sorry how things ended. Can we be friends?” I asked and looked at him.
“Friends with ex-girlfriends… I don’t usually do that.” Nick said and started to think. He looked at me once more head to toe.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I said and play hit him with my purse.
“Like what?” He asked and defended himself from my hit.
“Like you want embrace me. I know I look sexy, but please just stop.” I said smiling.
“You admit you look sexy?” He questioned smiling.
“I feel like sexy tonight.” I said smiling.
“You look good, Lily. You always do.” He said.
“Thanks. I should go now. It was good to see you.” I said smiling.
“Just call me sometimes. My number is still the same.” Nick said.
“Maybe I will. Take care of yourself.” I said smiling and walked backwards towards girls.
“You too. I’m waiting for your call.” Nick said and waved. I only waved him back and then turned to walk towards to girls.
“Lily?!” Nick shouted after me and I turn to look at him confused.
“Just one question. Are you wearing thongs?” he asked and I had to smile to that.

I only winked at him and walked to girls. We decided to end our night and heading home. After that night seeing Nick again, I did call him and we started to be good friends. He got married to his fiancé and I couldn’t be more happier for them. Rochelle ad I started to be in good terms again and we opened our own hairdresser shop to LA. I was still friends with girls from Las Vegas. Things were starting to look great for me. Good business and good friends. I’m happy to have my normal life back. Not as deaf.

End Notes:
I hope this short story is good enough for to read.
I'm already planning to write 3rd short story...
Till net time... ;)
Dream Girl by Jannika
Author's Notes:
What happens when two Carters meet, but are not related?
That happened to Beth and Nick.
”Beth! Breakfast!”
”I’ll be down in a minute!”
“We’ll be late! Come on!”
“I said in a minute!”
“Just hurry up!”

You really want to know me, but you really don’t.
I’m not special girl. I’m just Beth. Elizabeth. Eliza. Betty.
You decide what you want to call me.
My godmother Harriet calls me as Beth.
My father called me as Betty.
My best friend Brooke calls me Carter.
Why? Cause that’s my last name.
Everyone thinks I’m related to some famous Carter.
Helena Bonham Carter: No.
Jay Z: No.
Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys: Hell no!
I hope not. At least Harriet told me he’s not.
It would be funny though for thinking about it.
But I had heard rumors I’m related somehow to President of United States: James Earl Carter Jr.

“Are you still wondering about are you related to President?” Harriet asked when stands behind me when I was on my laptop.
“Don’t you know about knocking?” I asked.
“I surely do. I did knock.” Harriet said.
“I must’ve been in my thoughts. It’s driving me crazy. Parents died when I was just a baby. They didn’t have no siblings and no parents. It’s weird.” I said and looked at my laptop screen.
“In your mom’s will, they wanted me to be your guardian and I’ve been happy to do it.” Harriet said.
“You’ve been good to me.” I said smiling and closed the lid of the laptop.
“And you’ve been good to me.” Harriet said smiling and then asks.
“So are we ready to go?”
“Sure. My suitcase is ready.” I said and packed my laptop to my back bag.

Whole day we were traveling. Where are we going, you wonder?
Well earlier I mentioned Nick Carter, right?
So my Godmother bought us both tickets to BSB Cruise.
I’m not big fan of the Backstreet Boys, but they have some good songs.
Harriet is big fan. Her favorite is Kevin.
He’s oldest and same age as she. Who am I kidding? They are not.
My Godmother is older, but age is just a number and Kevin is married.
Harriet once was married. Her husband and my father were NASCAR racers.
When I heard of it, I wanted to become racer just like my dad was.
Harriet thought it was bad idea, but I never gave up on it.
Now I’m professional NASCAR racer. I’m having break from racing. Now I’m going to Cruise.

“This is so exciting. I know Kevin isn’t here, but still this is like dream come true.” Harriet said when we walked in the ship.
“Why am I here again?” I asked when I followed her.
“To meet boys of course.” Harriet said smiling.
“I’m not a fan, Harriet.” I said when we walked the hallway to our cabin.
“But you do listen their music and if I’m correct you once said Nick is cute.” Harriet said smiling.
“Yes because you asked which one of them I think it’s cute.” I said bit too loud to make other fans look at us.
“Little louder, Beth. I don’t think guys heard ya.” Harriet said whispering.

I heard some fans whispering why I’m here if I’m not even a fan.
I kept walking after Harriet to ignore fans.
We found our cabin and walked in.

“It’s bigger than I thought. You can have top bunk.” Harriet said.
“No. I want bottom one” I said and put my stuff on the bottom bunk.
“Oh gosh, Beth. How do you think I’ll get up there?” Harriet asked.
“Ladders, dear Godmother.” I said smiling.
“Oh… Well I don’t think I’m going to sleep at all.” Harriet said.
“Not sleeping? Are you mad?” I asked confused.
“You know there won’t be any sleep on BSB Cruise.” Harriet said and started to change her clothes and redo her make up.
“I’ll go for walk and look around a bit.” I said when walked to our cabin door.
“But we are sailing away soon and first party is about to begin.” Harriet said.
“I’m not mood to party this early.” I said and opened the door.
“Don’t get lost.” Harriet said after me, but I just closed the door behind me.

I decided to go for walk on deck. Everyone was going to this party anyway.
I walked to slide doors and saw two big guys standing there.
One of them sees me and walks to me.

“May I help you?” He asked.
“I was just planning to go walk on deck.” I said.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t right now.” he said.
“Why? What’s going on?” I asked worried.
“Nothing to worry about. We are securing someone.” He said.
“Oh… Well…. I didn’t know you are one of the bodyguards.” I said.
“Yes I am. I’m Mike and that is my brother Q.” He said.
“Nice to meet you, Mike. I’m Elizabeth.” I said.
“Mike? Who’s your friend?” I heard voice behind Mike and he turns to look at the person.
“Just curious fan, Alex.” Mike said.
“Oh… Hi.” AJ said smiling when sees me.
“Hi. I’m not a fan by the way.” I said honestly.
“Really? Then why to come here then?” AJ asked.
“My Godmother is a fan.” I said.
“So what is going on?” AJ asked from Mike.
“She wants to go for walk on deck.” Mike said.
“Then let her. She’s harmless.” AJ said smiling.

Mike nods and moves aside to let me walk through slide doors.
“Thank you.” I said to AJ when we he walked right behind me.
“You are very welcome…” AJ said and wondered my name.
“Elizabeth. My name is Elizabeth.” I sad smiling.
“You look familiar to me.” AJ said.
“If you are into NASCAR then maybe.” I said smiling.
“NASCAR? Like the NASCAR where cars goes around the same loop all the time?” He asked.
“That’s the one.” I said and chuckled.
“You race?” He asked and I nodded.
“Damn. You good?” He asked curious.
“Well maybe you should find out. Google Beth Carter.” I said and walked to another direction from him.


“Who were you talking to?” I asked from AJ when he walked to me and other guys on the deck.
“Just a fan. Nothing else.” AJ said.
“Fan? Why is she going to other way?” Howie asked.
“Does it matter?” AJ asked and got his mic to his hand.
“Not really. There’s plenty other fans to talk to or whatever.” Brian said.
“Alex… Why not say that she’s not a fan?” Mike asked and I looked at him surprised.
“Fan or not, doesn’t matter.” AJ said and we forget about whole thing when we walked to stage or porch… Don’t really know what to call it.

We entertained fans with jokes and singing.
So here we go. Sailing to the sea. Ship full of screaming fans. It’s going to be long 3 days.
I was sing-a-long with guys when suddenly I saw the girl AJ was talking to earlier.
She was far behind all the fans sitting on the bar.
I walked to Mike and shouted loud to him.

“What is the girl’s name that Alex talked to earlier?” I asked.
“Elizabeth. Why?” Mike asked.
“She’s sitting at the bar way back of fans alone. Could you go to the bar and tell bartender to give her another drink what she’s drinking now?” I asked.
“You sure? You haven’t even talk to her.” Mike said.
“Just want to be friendly and show that she’s not alone.” I said smiling and walked back to guys.

I followed with my eyes when Mike walked to the bar where Elizabeth is sitting.
“What is Mike doing?” AJ asked near my ear.
“He went to give another drink to Elizabeth from me.” I said back.
“What? Why?” AJ asked curious.
“Why not? Who wouldn’t want drink from us?” I asked smiling.
“She’s not a fan, Nick.” AJ said and sighed.
“She’s definitely lying. Why is she here anyway?” I asked curious.
“Her Godmother is a fan.” AJ said and turned to fans.

Oh Crap. She must think I’m trying to hitting on her or something.
I looked at the bar and saw that they were not there anymore.


I heard lot of screaming around. Boys must’ve come to say hi to fans.
I decided to walk closer to noises and voices. I saw lot of fans, mostly girls/women.
I sat on the barstool all the way behind all the fans. Bartender walked to me and smiled.

“What can I get you?” He asked.
“Just water. I’m not here to get drunk.” I said and heard boys singing.
“Why not go up there closer to boys?” He asked and gave me glass of water.
“I’m not a fan.” I answered honestly.
“You here with someone who is?” He asked.
“Yeah. She didn’t want to come alone and her friends don’t like Backstreet Boys. So she asked me to join her and of course she’s my guardian.” I said before drank my water and then I noticed Mike walking directly to me.
“Hey Elizabeth.” Mike said and sits next to me.
“Hi Mike.” I answered.
“Drinking water?” Mike asked.
“Yeah. What’s up, Mike?” I asked.
“Nick asked me to give you another drink what you are drinking now.” Mike said.
“Wow. He got balls. You can go back to tell him to shove that to his ass.” I said and walked away back to the deck to enjoy the breeze.

I really love the ocean. It’s most beautiful thing in the whole world, but same time very dangerous.
It was calm if there wasn’t any loud music and screaming.
I heard slide doors open and turned to look at the direction.
It’s AJ and Q. He lights his cigarette, but then doors opens again.
This time it’s Nick with Mike. I hid behind the corner and trying to listen.

“Fans are so loud. Q and Mike. Go inside to guard the door.” Nick said and I heard slide doors open and close.
“So what else did you talked to Elizabeth?” Nick asked. Great. Isn’t this just wonderful.
“Nothing much. She’s driver.” AJ said.
“We are all are drivers.” Nick said and I had to scroll my eyes. He’s so blonde.
“NASCAR driver.” AJ said.
“NASCAR? Cars going around the same loop over and over again?” Nick questioned.
“Yes, Nick. That’s the one.” AJ said. I had to peek a little behind the corner. They don’t see me.
”She does look familiar, right?” AJ asked.
“I don’t watch NASCAR.” Nick said.
“Does Beth Carter saying anything to you?” AJ asked.
“Her last name is Carter?” Nick asked.
“That’s what she said.” AJ said.
“She’s just lying. That’s what fans are doing to get attention.” Nick said.

I moved away to stay hidden and kept listening. Nick’s so annoying.
“Should we google her?” AJ asked.
“Are you serious?” Nick asked.
“Always.” AJ said.

Then I didn’t hear their talking clear enough. Slide doors opened and then closed.
Why is this happen to me? I waited few minutes before decided it was safe to leave.
I walked to my cabin and checked the schedule of the cruise.
When ship arrives to destination, I’m out of here. Godmother can’t even stop me.
I looked at the time and wondered where Harriet is. She must have time of her life.
2 hours later she arrived to cabin.

“Beth. How was your walk?” she asked smiling.
“I met one of them.” I said when I was typing on my laptop.
“What? When? Who?” Harriet asked.
“AJ. He was on the deck outside. Just had small talk.” I said.
“Oh Beth… I’m so jealous. He so sexy.” Harriet said.
“Oh god, Harriet. He’s 10 years younger than you.” I said and sighed.
“So? Age is just a number.” Harriet said and started to change.
“Changing again?” I asked.
“Of course. It’s almost time to Game Night.” Harriet said.
“Game Night?” I asked.
“Yes. Oh by the way, I put your name to list for chance to be Nick’s dream girl tonight.” Harriet said smiling.
“You did what?” I asked shocked.
“You heard me. Date game.” Harriet said…
“Excuse me… You put my what to what list again?” I asked furious.
“Oh come on, Beth. Have some fun. It’ll be fun. You never met him before.” Harriet said and I just stayed still to say nothing.
“Beth. Get ready.” Harriet said.
“I hate you.” I said and shook my head.


“When I call your name please come to stage.” woman talked to mic and called 2 fans to stage first. Crap. I just hate Harriet.
“Elizabeth Carter from Texas.” She called my name.
“Wow… Interesting last name you have. Where you at?” She looked whole area to look for me.

I was sitting still until Harriet lifts her hand.
“She’s here right next to me.” Harriet said.
“Whatta fuck, Harriet?” I said in silent voice.
“Just go up there. What could go wrong?” she asked and pulls me up.

I rolled my eyes and walked to stage.
“Have a seat next to other 2 fans.” woman with the mic said to me.

I did what she said and looked at the other 2 girls on my left. Crap. They are the same ones that heard me on the hallway.
“I’m curious.” one of the girls said when looked at me.
“And that is?” I asked.
“Are you or are you not a fan?” she asked. I only smiled at her.
“Don’t mind her. Nick is not going to pick her.” other girl said in Aussie accent.
“Now we need Nick on stage. Nicholas? Come out.” woman said to mic.

We didn’t see him and he didn’t see us. There was wall between us. Fans starts to whistle and shout “I love you, Nick!”
“Hey… Am I late?” Nick talked to mic and sounded happy.
“As always. Okay Nick. Are you ready to meet your dream girl?” Woman talked to mic.
“Yes, but I can’t see them.” Nick said to mic. Moron…
“In time you will. Need to ask some questions first.” woman said to mic.
“Awesome, Jenny. I’m ready. May I hear their names and where they are from?” Nick said.
“Sure… Even though you could’ve heard me saying their names.” Jenny said to mic.
“I was in the bathroom and I was listening my iPod.” Nick said laughing.
“Okay first girl’s name is Amber. She’s from Louisiana.” Jenny said to mic.
“Hello Louisiana.” Nick said to mic.
“Hi Nick.” Amber said in shy voice.
“Second girl is Tori from Australia.” Jenny said.
“Hello Tori. You are long away from home.” Nick said chuckling and Tori said also hi in shy voice.
“You are going to like the next one.” Jenny said. Oh shit… Is she for really?
“Let her say her name” Nick said curiously and waited me to answer.

I looked at other 2 girls and they looked pissed.
“Girl number three. What’s your name?” Jenny said and I looked at her before shaking my head for no.
“We got silence one. Her name is Elizabeth. She’s from Texas.” Jenny said.
“Hello Elizabeth. Alex met girl named as Elizabeth today. How weird is that?” Nick said to mic and I get embarrassed.
“Maybe she is the same one. Nick no… No peeking.” Jenny said to mic and fans laughed.
“Sorry. I’m just curious.” Nick said chuckling.
“Okay Nick. First question to girls.” Jenny said.
“Alright. Let see.” Nick said and hummed while thinking.

I was kind of nervous. I didn’t want to sit here. I see Harriet smiling at me. Bitch.
“Here’s good one. Weirdest place you been kissing with somebody?” Nick asked.

Girls were answering first very shy and then was my turn. What am I going to answer?
“Okay Elizabeth. Going to answer?” Jenny asked and I thought for second before moving closer to mic to talk first time whole “Date Game”.
“Do I have to answer?” I asked frustrated.
“Yes you do. Come on, Betty.” Nick said to mic.
“Fine… Don’t call me Betty. Answer to your question is I’ve never been kissed someone.” I said lying. Weirdest place I kissed someone was back of my race car…
“Really? Never?” Nick questioned for make sure, but I stayed quiet.
“That’s her answer. Moving to next question.” Jenny said.
“This should be easy. What’s your favorite animal and why?” Nick asked.
Like in the first question, Tori and Amber answered first and then turned to me listen my answer.
“You got to have favorite animal, Texas.” Nick said chuckling.
“I do have favorite animal. Dolphins and sharks. And why? Because they are most amazing animals in the ocean and I love ocean.” I answered honest.
“Good answer. Nick likes ocean too.” Jenny said smiling.
“That was good answer Texas. Jenny… I love ocean.” Nick said correcting Jenny.
“Sorry, Nicky.” Jenny said.
“Is this going to be last question?” Nick asked.
“Yes. Choose wisely what you ask.” Jenny said.
“What is your favorite pos… No… I’m not asking that Alex!” Nick shouted.
“Wuss!” I heard AJ yell somewhere.
“Alright Nick… Girls are waiting.” Jenny said.
“Okay… How long you’ve been fan?” Nick asked.

Oh great. Just perfect. Why this question?
“I’ve been fan since ’97.” Amber answered.
“13 years now… How about you Tori?” Jenny asked.
“Since ’99.” Tori answered.
“Those are good years.” Nick said.
“Elizabeth?” Jenny said and looked at me.

I looked at Amber and Tori. They were smirking. What should I say?
“She’s thinking.” Jenny said to Nick.
“How hard is that question?” Nick asked.
“Let me go ask her.” Jenny said and walked to me. We put our mics aside so no one heard us.
“What’s wrong?” Jenny asked.
“I want to get off this stage.” I said.
“Why?” Jenny asked.
“I’m not a fan.” I said quietly.
“Then why was your name on the list?” Jenny asked.
“My Godmother put it there. What should I say?” I asked helpless.
“It’s okay. Just be honest. Nick respects honesty.” Jenny said and walked off.

I looked at the mic and lean to answer saying, “I’m not a fan”.
There was small silence until everyone in the audience started gasph and talk in shock.
I didn’t hear anything. Jenny shouted to mic to make everyone to be silence.
I was so embarrassed.

“Did I hear correct? You are not fan, Texas?” Nick asked and I moved closer to mic answer.
“You heard correct. I’m not.” I said.
“Interesting… So you are the same Elizabeth Alex met?” Nick asked, but I didn’t answer.
“If Nick is choosing her, ugh…” I heard Tori saying to Amber.
“Would it help if I said that I have heard your music all my life?” I asked and ignored his question.
“Not fan, but heard our music?” Nick questioned.
“Yes. I’ll blame my Godmother. Thanks Harriet.” I said to mic and stared at Harriet.
“Oh. Could Elizabeth’s Godmother stand up?” Nick asked.
“Oh no. Please don’t…” I said quietly to myself, but Harriet stood up.
“There she is. Hi Harriet.” Nick said to mic and Jenny walked to Harriet with mic.
“Hi. How are you, Nick?” Harriet asked.
“I’m good. I can’t wait meet your Goddaughter.” Nick said and I groaned.
“She’s very sweet girl. I’ve had her since she was only 1 year old.” Harriet said smiling.

Oh great. Now she’s going to tell him my whole life.
“So is she a fan?” Nick asked and I shook my head to Harriet for no.
“She doesn’t want to admit that she is. She likes the song The Shape of My Heart.” Harriet said.

I looked at Harriet shocked. I couldn’t stay no more. I stood up and walked off the stage.
“Beth? Where are you going?” I heard Harriet shouting after me. I just kept running out through double doors.


When I heard Harriet shouting after Elizabeth, I got curious.
“Jenny? Did she just left?” I asked.
“Yeah. She looked upset and mad too. Her Godmother Harriet left after her.” Jenny said.

I muted my mic and leaned to Jenny.
“I was going to choose her.” I said quietly and seriously.
“Seriously Nick? She’s mostly oddest one.” Jenny said quietly.
“That’s the reason. She’s mysterious.” I said.
“Want to know her last name?” Jenny asked and I only nodded.
“Her last name is Carter.” Jenny said and my look change to shock.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Yes.” She said and I walked off the stage to back stage.
“Nick? Where are you going?” Jenny shouted after me.

I didn’t stop walking until I find Mike or AJ.
I didn’t care shit what fans thought of me now.
“Nick!” Brian yelled my name behind me when I past him.
“Have you seen Alex?” I asked and looked around.
“No, but he is going to stage next. What’s wrong?” Brian asked.
“Have you heard of NASCAR racer name Beth Carter?” I asked.
“No and I don’t watch NASCAR.” Brian said.
“The Texas girl in the stage, one of the fans, She’s Beth Carter. NASCAR racer. Same one Alex talked to.” I said and kept looking around.
“Someone got little crush on someone.” Brian said chuckling.
“Shut up. I never met her face to face. I never talked to her.” I said.
“You did talk to her in stage. Only wall between you two. Why are you acting like this?” Brian asked.
“I was going to choose her.” I said honestly.
“You want to find her, right?” Brian asked.
“Of course. I just want to talk to her. I’ve must had made her day awful.” I said and then I see Mike.
“Mike? Come here for minute.” I said and Mike walk to us.
“Could you go find out which cabin Beth Carter stays in?” I asked.
“First drink and now cabin.” Mike said.
“Please Mike. I need to talk to her.” I begged and Mike walked to Jenny.
“You order her drink? When?” Brian asked.
“Sail Away “ Opening Party.” I answered.
“But you were on stage with us.” Brian said.
“I asked Mike to do it for me.” I said.
“Nick!?” Jenny called my name.
“What?” I asked.
“You need to go back there.” Jenny said.
“Why? So I can embarrass myself front of fans?” I asked.
“Of course not. I told them you just needed to have a break.” Jenny said.
“Do I really have to?” I asked.
“Yes. You need to have picture with other girls.” Jenny said.
“And tell them I chose Elizabeth, the No fan girl?” I asked.
“They deserve to know. Come on.” Jenny said and we walked back to stage.

After talking to other 2 girls on stage and taking pictures, I talked to AJ for minute before was his turn to pick his dream girl.
“You got all freak out earlier. Brian told me and Howie.” AJ said.
“I wouldn’t say freak out. One of the girls on stage was Elizabeth. Same girl that you were talking to.” I said.
“Really? Holy shit…” AJ said smirking.
“She was the one running off the stage.” I explained.
“Good thing you never asked their favorite position.” AJ said chuckling.
“Shut up, Alex. I wasn’t never going to ask that. I’m not that dirty.” I said and then Jenny comes to us with Mike.
“I talked to crew and they are finding out which cabin Elizabeth is staying.” Mike said.
“When you find out which, could you go tell her I want to talk to her?” I asked and he looked at me crazy.
“I’m not your slave.” Mike said.
“Oh come on, Mike… I won’t bother you with these favors.” I begged.
“Fine, but if she doesn’t want to see you, you leave her alone.” Mike said pointing at me and walked away.
“I think I’m going to follow him now. Just in case.” I said to Jenny and Alex.
“You seriously have crush on her.” AJ said.
“No I don’t.” I admit.
“That’s not what Brian said.” AJ said smiling.
“Get ready to go on stage, Alex.” Jenny said and walked to stage get everything ready.
“Don’t tell Brian or Howie that I followed Mike to see where Beth is.” I said.
“Sure thing. Go before someone sees you.” Alex said.
“Tell others I just gone to my cabin.” I said and turned to walk away.
“Take Q with you just in case.” Alex said.
“After I know which cabin she is staying.” I said and hurried to follow Mike.


I ran straight to my cabin. I wasn’t going to come out.
I started to pack everything for the next day.
Cabin door opened and Harriet walked in.

“What’s the matter with you running away like that?” She asked.
“Cause of you. I told you many times. I’m. Not. A. Fan.” I said pissed tone.
“Well I’m sorry. I was just wanted you to have fun.” Harriet said.

I put my laptop to my back bag.
“Fun? As fun as making fun of me front of all fans and mostly front of Nick?” I asked.
“Why are you packing?” She asked.
“I’m leaving tomorrow. That’s why I’m packing.” I said.
“We are middle of the ocean. Place where we are going, there is no airports.” Harriet said.
“I’ll figure it out to find a way to get home somehow.” I said.
“Oh Beth… I’m really sorry. I’ve shouldn’t put your name on that Date Game list.” Harriet said in sad voice and sat on the chair.
“I never should’ve come here.” I said honestly.

She was about to say something, but there’s knock on the door.
“Someone followed you.” I said when walked to door and looked through the peephole.
“Oh great… It’s Mike.” I said and sighed.
“Mike? As bodyguard Mike?” Harriet asked excited and rushed pass me to look through peephole.
“Oh My… I wonder what he wants.” Harriet said quietly.
“Do not open the door.” I commanded her quietly.

Harriet only smiled and opened the door.
“Yes?” Harriet questioned when saw Mike.
“I’m looking for Beth Carter. Is this her cabin?” Mike asked.

I hid to bathroom and listened.
“Yes. She’s right the…” Harriet said and turned to see me going to bathroom.
“Mr. Carter is looking for her. He really needs to talk to her.” Mike said.
“What for? They never met.” Harriet asked.
“Well he was going to choose her to be his dream girl.” Mike said.

I walked out the bathroom shocked.
“He what?” I asked.
“Elizabeth. Nice to finally finding you. Nick chose you to be his dream girl.” Mike said.
“He did not?” I questioned shocked.
“He did. Everyone in the ship knows. He went back to stage…” Mike said, but I stopped him continue talking.
“Wait… Went back to stage?” I questioned.
“Yeah… Looking for me to find out which cabin you are staying at after finding out who you are. And now I’m here.” Mike said.
“I don’t want to be his dream girl. He should choose between Tori or Amber.” I said.
“Why won’t you tell him that by yourself?” Harriet asked.
“Because I don’t want to talk to him.” I said and sat to bottom bunk.
“Why?” Harriet asked.
“Cause he said I’m liar.” I said.
“When did he say that?” Mike asked curious.

I looked up at to him.
“When he and Alex were on the deck outside. You and your brother were standing at the door guarding.” I said.
“That son of…” Mike said pissed tone.
“Beth… Talk to him. Maybe he wants to apologize.” Harriet said.

I couldn’t believe she thought that it’s good idea.
“If you want, I can send him a message from you, Beth.” Mike said.
“Like you did tell him to shove the drink order to his ugly ass?” I asked so annoyed.
“I never told him that.” Mike said.
“Great. This is the one of the reasons I want to leave.” I said and sighed.
“You leaving? How? We are middle of the ocean.” Mike said surprised.
“That’s not your problem.” I said.
“Okay. I have an idea. Would you talk to Alex?” Mike asked.

Harriet and Mike both looked at me hopeful. Mostly Harriet.
I sighed and nodded.
“Excellent. I’ll go get him and bring him here when whole Date Game Night is over.” Mike said.
“Make sure Nick is not following.” I said after him when he opened the cabin door.
“Of course.” Mike said and walked out.

Harriet closed the door after Mike walked out and sighed.
“Beth… This is my fault. You should not be mad at Nick.” Harriet said.
“I’ll talk to Alex and see how it goes.” I said ad started to change my clothes.
“Talk about what?” Harriet asked.
“I don’t know. Stuff.” I said and put high heel boots on.
“Well I can’t wait to meet him.” Harriet said and started to fix her make up.
“Actually. I want to talk to him alone.” I said.
“Oh come on… You know how much I like to meet him. Not fair.” she said and pouted.
“I promise after our talk you can meet him. Now please go.” I begged.
“Okay. Tell him I want to meet him.” Harriet said.
“I promise.” I said.

She smiled and walked out of our cabin room.
I have to admit that she’s too excited about meeting AJ.
He is just normal guy. All of them are.
I can’t understand what fans are seeing on them.
I waited about 5 to 10 minutes and there was knock on the door.
I thought AJ and Mike are here cause I didn’t look through peephole. I should have.


When she opened the door, she looked surprised and shocked.
None of us talked. We were silent and just looked at each other.
This is damn awkward. What should I tell the girl that I never met, but only talked through wall?
It’s needs to be me talking first so here I go.

“I’m sorry I was cruel.” I said and she stayed silent still.
“No one knows I’m here except Alex and Q.” I said and notice her look at Q.
“Can I come in and talk with you?” I asked and she just looks at Q when she talks.
“What you think I should do, Q?” she asked from Q.
“Don’t ask me. I’m only his bodyguard.” Q said.

She turned to look at me and sighed.
“I don’t really have anything to say to you.” she said.
“You don’t have to. Just listen what I want to say to you.” I said begging.
“I give you 1 minute.” she said and let me walk in.

She closed the door after I walked in and she turned to look at me.
“Leaving already?” I asked and pointed to her packed suitcase, but she only stayed silent.
“Okay… I presume you know I chose you.” I said.
“Why?” She asked.
“Cause you are not a fan.” he said.
“Would’ve you still choose if I was?” she asked.
“Well we got lot of common.” I said.
“Like what?” She asked.
“We both like ocean. You said your favorite animals are dolphins and sharks because of the ocean.” I said smiling and she looked surprised.
“And this might sound stupid or crazy, but I like your last name.”
“Time’s up.” she said and opened the door.
“It can’t be gone 1 minute already.” I said and stand still.
“Please just go.” she begged and opened the door.
“No. I still got 15 seconds at least.” I said and pushed the door shut.
“You are jerk.” she said and moved to sit on the bottom bunk.
“I know and I came here to say I’m sorry.” I said and looked at her.
“10 seconds.” she said reminding me.
“Was Harriet even telling the truth about liking the song?” I asked.
“Yes. 5 seconds” she said and kept her look on the floor to her foot.
“That’s what I wanted to hear. So would you still be my dream girl?” I asked.
“No. Time’s up.” she said.
“Beth…” I called her, but she looked mad to call her like that.
“Sorry… Elizabeth. I’m really trying here to ask forgiveness.” I said and moved to crotch to front of her.
“You told Alex I was liar. You don’t even know me. You can shove the fucking apology to your fucking ass. Now get the fuck out!” she yelled at me and tried to push me.
“I’ll do anything until you forgive me. What you want me to do?” I asked.

She tried to push me near to the door, but I was too strong for her to make me move.
“There’s nothing you can do.” she said.
“There’s gotta be.” I said.
“Seriously, Nick. We never met. We never talked except the time on stage.” she said.
“We can change that. Starting over.” I said.
“You can’t. We can’t. Please go. That’s what I want.” she said.
“Okay. Just don’t go away. Stay to be with Harriet. I’ll stay away if that’s what you want.” I said.
“Your fans doesn’t even like me. Tori and Amber… They totally dislike me.” she said.
“Tori and Amber? Who are those?” I asked and she looked at me surprised.
“Seriously? You don’t remember?” she asked.
“Other two on stage?” I asked.
“Yes. They dislike me right away when Harriet and I walked on those hallways.” she said and pointed to direction of the door.
“I surely dislike them. No wonder I don’t remember their names.” I said and looked at her.
“What do you remember?” she asked.
“I remember only your answers, Texas.” I said smiling.
“Oh God… My answers sucked.” she said.
“I still can’t believe you haven’t kissed someone.” I said.
“That was a lie. I had.”
“I totally understand why you lied. You are not a fan so you thought it’s not our business to know.”
“Exactly.” she said.
“Okay… Still want me to go?” I asked.
“You kind of have to.” she said and sighed, but smiled.
“I do, do I?” I said chuckling and she nodded.
“Well… Welcome to Cruise.” I said and walked to the door.
“Thank you. It was kind of nice to meet you.” she said smiling when followed me to the door.
“It really was. Try to have good time.” I said when opened the door and there was AJ, Mike and Q behind it.
“All okay?” Q asked and nodded.
“Yeah. Everything is okay. Take care, Beth.” I said and turned to look at her.
“You too Nick. Bye.” She said smiling and waved.

Q and I stayed a side to wait AJ coming back. I overheard him and Beth talking little bit.
“Is all okay” AJ asked.
“Yeah. We talked and… Stuff.” She said and smiled to my direction.
“Huh… Well I’m not needed here after all then.” AJ said.
“Maybe you could stay and meet my godmother.” she said.
“Later. We have some things to do.” AJ said and pointed to my and Q’s direction.
“Great. You know where to find us.” She said smiling and they said goodbye.


It’s been 2 months since I met Beth. I googled her and read everything about her.
I didn’t do it cause of her last name is Carter like mine. I was very curious about her career.
She’s the only female driver in the NASCAR race.
I started to search where the last race of the year is.
I did gone to look for her from Texas, but they said she’s in the Vegas so I decided to go Vegas and meet her again.
I bought VIP and All Access ticket to that last race. I walked to VIP area to watch the race.
I didn’t want everyone to know I was there of course. Who knows if there are fans around.
I noticed man wearing race team jacket that says CARTER behind and suit man that looked like business man. I stand up and walked to them.

“Excuse me. I have a question.” I said when they turned to look at me.
“Holy shit. You are Nick Carter. What brings you here?” Business man asked.
“Uhmmm… This sounds crazy, but I came here to see Beth Carter.” I said smiling.
“Oh… I’m heading to her garage. I’m her manager. Cliff Jordan.” He said when offered his hand and I shake it.
“Nice to meet you.” I said.
“How you know Beth?” Cliff asked.
“I once met her on the ocean. So can I meet her?” I asked smiling.
“On the ocean? That’s new way to meet someone. Sure. Follow us.” Cliff said and we walked after the team guy who wear jacket that got CARTER on it.
“Is he Carter too?” I asked from Cliff quietly.
“No. He’s changing her tires. Just a team mate.” Cliff said.
“Cool.” I only said and followed them to the huge garage door that are bigger than house garage doors.
“You should wait here.” Cliff said and I nodded.


“How fast did you go yesterday?” My team mate Chuck asked when we read monitors.
“Not fast enough. Parkers are much faster. I think I need to have one more ride before race.” I said.
“We do our best. I’ll go let them know you want to go ride few rounds.” Chuck said and turned around, but stayed still.
“What?” I asked.
“Cliff is here.” Chuck said and I turned to look at Cliff.
“Hey Cliff.” I said and smiled.
“Are you ready for the race?” Cliff asked.
“My car is not fast enough. Parkers are killing their time.” I said and walked to my car.
“Well it’s not always about how fast you go. Your father once said that before you were born.”
“I know Cliff.” I said and put helmet on.
“Going to the track?” Cliff asked.
“Yeah. I need few more practice rounds.” I said and put gloves on.
“You have visitor.” Cliff said.
“I don’t have time for fat drunks.” I said and sighed.
“This one is not fat or drunk. This guy met you on the ocean.” Cliff said and I froze when Cliff said that.
“Not my words. His. He’s outside waiting to meet you.” Cliff said and I turned to look at Cliff when I removed helmet off.
“He’s what? Oh shit.” I said and walked away.
“Bethany… Where are you going?” Cliff asked after me.
“Cliff? She can go to track now.” Chuck said when I sat on the chair near the monitors.
“Just give us a minute.” Cliff said.

I couldn’t believe he’s here. No… He could be also AJ or Brian.
No… It’s got be Nick. Should I meet him?
“Bethany… You okay?” Cliff asked and looked at me worried.
“What’s the name of the visitor?” I asked.
“Carter. Nick Carter.” Cliff said.
“Oh shit. What is he doing here?” I asked.
“He’s here to meeting you. Shall I ask him here?” Cliff asked.
“I’ll go meet him myself.” I said when I put helmet and gloves to aside before walked outside and saw him leaning his back to wall, phone in his hand.

I walked to him and got his attention by coughing.
“Hey Beth.” He said and stands up straighter and put his cellphone to his pocket.
“Hey Nick. What brings you here from all other places?” I asked.
“Want honest answer?” Nick asked.
“Yeah. I really do.” I said.
“Okay. I googled you. I searched your schedule where you’ll be. I even went to Texas to see if you were there.” He said and put sunglasses on.
“You are basically stalking me.” I said smiling.
“I wouldn’t say that. I’m just curious and wanted to see you. I never went to see NASCAR race before so I thought why not.” He said in honest.
“I was just about to go ride few rounds to track.” I said smiling and pointed my car.
“Cool. Good luck.” Nick said smiling and turned to walk away.
“Nick?” I questioned and stopped him.
“Want to come and stay in to my garage?” I asked.
“You sure? I don’t want to be on the way.” He said.
“You are not. Come on.” I said and pulled him with me to garage.

I introduced him to everyone. They all made fun of me how we sometimes listen Backstreet Boys songs before race starts. This time I begged we do not do that, but Chuck didn’t listen and put Everybody on to radio. I looked at to Nick embarrassed and mouthed him “I’m sorry”.
30 minutes had passed and I needed to go on track getting ready for the race.


Beth looked very sexy wearing her racing suit. I never thought woman could look so hot on racing suit. What the hell am I saying?
“10 more rounds and Andy Parker is still in lead! Beth Carter right in his tail!” sport caster announced. She was so close to pass this Parker guy.
“Right behind Carter is Tony Walker. Looks like he got difficulties to pass her. Oh my God! Can we zoom to Hendez’s car? He lost control of his car and hit the wall and so many other cars behind him. This is awful accident. Everyone is asked to move to their garage.” sport caster said.

This NASCAR thing is dangerous. How could she do this for living?
Everyone was ready when she drove back to garage.
“Beth? You okay?” Cliff asked when she got out her car.
“How long is it going to take to get those cars off the track?” she only asked.
“You know how long. 30 minutes. Get some water and sit down. We are going to check your car.” Cliff said and pointed mechanic.

Everyone was so busy around her car. I looked at her when she sat on the chair and drank some water. I walked closer to her.
“Hey. You okay?” I asked.
“That Parker is so fast. I have no chance to pass him. Chuck! Come here!” She shouted and Chuck ran to her.
“What can we do to make my car go faster?” She asked.

Chuck started to explain some car things for her that I didn’t understand.
He and she planned some things.
“We do that. Just save it to the end. Try to stay near to Andy.” Chuck explained to her.
She nods and drank the water. When they were finished talking, she turns to look at me.
“I’m sorry I’m not very mood to talk now. I need to focus on how to pass him.” Beth said and nodded her head to direction to other garage where was bad boy looking guy near his car.
“That’s Andy Parker?” I asked.
“Yeah. He’s been winning since I started. I just want to kick his ass once.” Beth said.
“It’s okay. I always wanted to win Grammy, but never won. Only been nominated.” I said smiling.
“That’s totally different. I’m controlling the wheel.” she said and drank more of her water.
“I believe in you.” I said confidently.
“Thanks. I need to go now. Wish me good luck.” she said smiling.
“Good luck, Beth.” I said and gave kiss to her cheek.

She let me kiss her cheek and smiled.
“For the good luck?” she asked.
“Sure.” I said and nodded.
“Thanks. See you soon” she said and walked to her car.
I couldn’t help myself. I had to check her ass.
Her ass looked really good on those race suit. She’s damn hot. I’m crazy, right?
I shouldn’t be into her. We met once, had a fight…
I’m going so crazy, but damn she’s so beautiful.

“Drivers are getting back to track. 10 laps to go. When light goes green they can go. Parker on the lead. Carter second. Walker third. Anything can happen in 10 laps. Cars are lapping track once before real race starts. Here they come and green goes light. They are off.” sport caster said.

I watched the race on the TV. Chuck and other mechanics removed some un-needed parts from her car to make it faster. I was afraid that it’s not going to work.
“Come on, Bethany… You can do it.” Chuck said.
“Is she going to be okay when you removed some parts?” I asked curious.
“It was her idea. It’s risky, but it’ll make her faster.” Chuck explained.
“Risky? How risky?” I asked.
“When she gets to 155 miles an hour she’ll be fine…” Chuck said and looked at the TV.
“What will happen if she goes over 155?” I asked.
“Nothing, but if she gets to 186, engine won’t like it. She only needs to gas it to 170 in the last lap.” Chuck explained and didn’t look away from TV screen. I was chocked what kind of risk she took.

“2 laps to go and Carter is right in Parker’s tail. He don’t look very happy. They’ve been hating each other since 2005. Carter has always wanted to beat him ever since.” sport caster said.
“Beth? Can you hear us?” Chuck asked when was holding headset to his ear and mic to his mouth.
“I’m here, Chuck. Just focusing on this douchebag.” Beth’s voice came from the stereo.
“You know what to do. Just remember what we planned, Okay?” Chuck said.
“Roger, base. Gotta go. Carter Out.” Beth said and connection went off.

It was terrified to watch her driving. They started to drive last lap.
“One more lap to go. Look how fast Carter goes. What is going on? She’s almost passing Parker. They are neck to neck near the last turn. This is going to be close. Parker is still on the lead by with 2 seconds. Can Carter finally pass and win him?” sport caster asked.
It was weird to hear my last name called when they were only using Beth’s last name.
I had to be honest. She’s really good driver.


Last turn and I’m going almost 180 miles. If I pass 186… I might lose the engine and loss the race.
I was very neck to neck with Andy and I can see him looking at me once for being annoyed.
I smiled to him when we both were near the finish line.
“Come on car.” I talked to myself and gas the paddle before passing the finish line.
I let the breath go out of me. I can now relax. I really didn’t know what happened. Did I win or did I come to second place like always did.
I couldn’t watch the big screen to look at the results. I only drove around the track few times until I drove back to garage. I stopped the car and shut the engine before getting out the car.
“Beth! You fucking did it! Holy shit!” Cliff said excited.
“What? I won?” I asked shocked.
“Yes! Look!” Cliff said and pointed to big screen where was my name on the 1st place.
“Oh My God!” I said shouting and started to jump excited with my team.
“Holy fuck! I finally did it!” I shouted and took helmet off.

I was smiling so happy. I finally won Andy’s ass! I turned to look for Chuck, but Nick was standing behind me smiling wide.
“Wow! That was awesome! You were awesome!” he cheered excited.
I didn’t say anything to him. I pull him close to me and kissed him deeply.
Everyone around us was cheering and celebrating. I finally pulled away from the kiss and looked up to him. I’ve might of cross the line to kiss him like that. Everyone around us now pulled me aside to go get my trophy. I looked at Nick once more and he was smiling like a kid.


There she was, standing on the first place platform very happy. I really can’t believe she kissed me.
Was there really something going on between us? I stayed back to let people to graduate her for the win. I look at the time on my watch and notice that it was time for me to go airport to catch my flight. I walked to Cliff and tapped his shoulder.
“Hey man. I need to go. I have plane to catch.” I said.
“Oh well was nice meeting you. Aren’t you going to say bye to Beth?” he asked.
“I think I said goodbye already. Can you give her this?” I asked and gave him my business card.
“Sure thing. I’ll make sure she gets it.” He said and I walked out of the place to outside.

I walked to cab stop area and stand there good 5 minutes when someone touched my hand.
I turn around and saw Beth standing there smiling still wearing racing suit on her.
“Going already?” she asked.
“I got flight to catch.” I said smiling.
“Not saying goodbye to me?” she asked.
“Well I didn’t want to be on your way. You just won the freaking champion.” I said excited.
“Yeah. I want you to stay and celebrate it with me. Not to just go and leave.” she said.
“You really want me to stay?” I asked surprised.
“Why not? I know you want to stay.” she said smiling.
“Yeah I do, but I got flight to catch. Need to finish my solo record and then heading to tour with New Kids and boys.” I said smiling.
“Wow… You are busy guy.” Beth said.
“Yeah… So…” I said and looked at her curious.
“About the kiss…”
“I know. I cross the line. I shouldn’t do that.” she said.
“It’s okay. It surprised me. That’s all.” I said smiling.
“I have a question.” she said and I nodded to let her ask.
“Can you delay your flight for tomorrow?” she asked and I didn’t know what to really say except,
“Beth… I would love to stay, but I can’t delay my flight. I have meetings tomorrow to go to.” I said honestly as good as possible.
“Okay. I understand. Thanks for coming. I might call you.” she said and walked back to inside.

I just looked at her walk away, but then I ran after her.
“Beth. Wait.” I said and stopped her at the door that goes to tracks.
I was lucky no one wasn’t there. Thing I was about to do wasn’t to no one else to see.
I pulled her aside to dark, empty corner and looked at her.
“What? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you going?” she asked.
“Because I need to say goodbye.” I said and leaned closer to her lips and kissed her gently.

She didn’t push me away or slap me. That was good sign.
I manage to cancel the meetings for the next day and delay my flight for few days.
I asked Beth out on a date next day after her winning the NASCAR champion.
Date went so well that we went to another date week from our first one.
Then there was third and the fourth. This happened for 4 whole months.
We decided to be very discreet about our relationship.
Beth decided to come with me to NKOTBSB Tour.
When we were around the people, we acted like we were good friends.
People kept asking if we were dating, but we denied it.
It was kind of exciting to be discreet and have secrecy.

After tour was over, we started to get even more serious about our relationship.
I even asked her to move in with me after tour is over. Of course she said yes.
It was 2 weeks before Halloween, we’ve been dating 8 months already and I decided it was time for serious conversation while we were one Friday night cuddling on our bed.

“Beth?” I questioned whispering.
“What?” She asked.
“Would you think it would…” I tried to say words correctly, but I sucked because I was nervous.
“You okay?” She asked.
“Yes. Trying to ask a question.” I said and she laughed.
“Try again.” She begged and turned to look at me.
“Do you think it’s time to tell whole world about us?” I asked and looked at her all seriousness.
“Wow… It’s going to be huge shock to the whole world to know that two Carters are dating and we are not even related.” She said smiling.
“Let them be shocked. I don’t fucking care if it’s crazy. Beth…” I said and looked to her eyes.
“What? It is crazy. Really crazy, crazy. Carter and Carter together. Doesn’t that sound crazy?” she asked.
“Beth…” I tried to get her attention to look at me.
“What would fans think? They know who I am… They wouldn’t like me being with you. They would only think we are dating cause we are both Carters and it’s easy that way to get married if we get there.” Beth started to talk fast enough to not make any sense.
“Beth…” I said when touched her face and turned her to look at me.
“What?” She asked.
“You are fast talking again. I want to tell you something. Something I wanted to tell you few weeks now.” I said and smiled to her.
“What?” She asked again same question.
“Beth… I love you.” I said when looked at to her eyes and smiled to her.
“You what?” She asked shocked.
“You heard me right. I love you, Elizabeth.” I said smiling.
“You do not. You are crazy.” she said and got off the bed.

Damn she looked so sexy when she’s naked.
“I’m not crazy. I really love you and if I was crazy, it only means I’m crazy about you.” I said smiling.
She turned to look at me.
“Nick… How long you’ve been knowing you love me?” she asked.
“Long enough.” I said and got up off the bed also and walked to her.
“Beth, listen. You don’t need to say the words to me. I just want you to know I love you.” I said and pulled her close to me.

Our naked bodies touched each other skins.
“Oh Nick… We’ve known each other 8 months. I have wonderful time with you.” she said and was shivering.
“So you don’t want this to be serious? You are living with me for God sake.” I said and sighed.
“Of course I do want it to be serious, Nick. As you said we are keeping this discreet and secret. I love every moment of it. It’s just too soon for me to say those words.” she said and started to fast talk again and I chuckled.
“What? Why are you laughing now?” she asked.
“I love it when you get all nervous, you start to fast talk. So cute.” I said smiling.
“I’m very serious now. I’m having wonderful time with you. And Oh My God the sex… There’s no words to describe how good it is.” She said smiling and put her hands behind my neck.
“That’s good to know. How about we go back to bed and see what kind of words we can use to describe our sex?” I said flirting and lift her to my arms.
“You are so full of shit.” She said giggling and I carried her to bed.
“Am I full of shit when I say I love you?” I asked and started to kiss her body.
“Hmmm… Definitely then.” she said smiling.
“Beth… Whenever you are ready, you just tell me the words. I’ll wait for you forever and forever.” I said and looked at to her eyes when I was on top of her.
“Forever? When I’m 80?” She asked giggling.
“Like I said… Forever…” I said and smiled.



It’s been one year exact when I met Nick on the Cruise. That stupid Date Game night.
I can still remember those other 2 fans on stage with me. Tori from Louisiana and Amber from Australia. I don’t usually say bad things about people, but those two: Such a bitches!
When Nick and I dated 10 months, there was kissing pictures of us leaking everywhere.
We decided to not keep our relationship secret anymore. Ellen invited us to her show to tell everything. Now we are here and ready to show ourselves together hand in hand very first time.

“Next guests we all know very well. They are not related even sharing same last name. He’s singer and she’s NASCAR racer. Usually it’s other way around.” Ellen said and smiled when audience laughed.
“Please welcome Nick Carter and Beth Carter!” Ellen said and audience started to cheer loud when we walked to studio hand in hand smiling.
“Hi Nick! How’s it going?” Ellen asked and hugged him first.
“Hey. Very good. You look great.” he said and step aside to let me meet her next.
“Gorgeous Beth. Hi!” Ellen said and we hugged.
“Hi Ellen.” I said smiling and then we sat down, me and Nick to lovebird seat and Ellen to her seat.
“Wow… Hi you two. Doesn’t they look great?” Ellen asked from audience and they cheered.
“Thank you.” Nick said smiling and waved to audience.
“So Carter…” Ellen started and then we both looked at her waiting which one she meant.
“Sorry. Wasn’t funny. So Nick…” She said and audience and we laughed.
“Shut it” Ellen said smiling to audience and they laughed.
“Alright… So Nick… How’s it going?” Ellen asked smiling.
“We are good. Today is our 1 year anniversary. Kind of. We met exact year ago in the cruise.” Nick said smiling and we were holding ours hands.
“That’s crazy. Happy anniversary.” Ellen said smiling.
“I wouldn’t call it that. We started dating 3 months later.” I said smiling.
“I call it as anniversary.” Nick said and turned to look at me smiling.
“We hated each other.” I said chuckling and turned to look at Ellen.
“You did? How so? He’s charming and good looking.” Ellen said and audience started to scream and whistle.
“Yeah charming and good looking. He was a ****head.” I said cussword and I knew they needed to beep it.

There were laughter and clapping when I said cussword. Ellen was laughing so loud and Nick looked at me smiling.
“Sorry. He really was.” I said smiling.
“Niiiick… What did you do?” Ellen asked.
“Actually… I was only charming and good looking.” Nick said and audience started to cheer again.
“So what happened actually?” Ellen asked and looked at Nick.
“All started from AJ talking to Beth. I saw them talking and I started to ask AJ about her. Who she was and what she does, you name it.” Nick said smiling.
“Someone had crush on her…” Ellen said winking at to me.
“He did.” I said smiling.
“May I finish?” Nick asked smiling.
“Sure Nick.” Ellen said smiling.
“After 20 to 30 minutes after that I saw her sitting alone in the bar so I asked Mike to order her another drink whatever she was drinking.” Nick said.
“And that’s the charming part.” Ellen said smiling.
“Charming alright… I told to Mike shove the drink to his ***.” I said cussword again and Ellen laughed again.
“You told Mike to shove lot of things to my ***.” Nick said and we all laughed.
“Alright… Beth? Want to continue the story?” Ellen asked chuckling.
“Okay. Later that day it was Game Night. If there’s fans in the audience that were in there will remember this.” I said and looked to audience and saw few hands to rise.
“It was chaos and terrible right?” I asked and fans nodded.
“Okay so my Godmother Harriet is HUGE Backstreet Boys fan and she put me to list to be Nick’s Dream girl so I end up to stage with other 2 fans.” I said and Ellen smiled.
“Why she didn’t put her name in the list by the way?” Nick asked curious.
“Because her favorite is Kevin.” I said smiling and turned to Ellen to continue the story.
“Anyway when he asked the 3rd question, it got messy. Nick asked my Godmother to get up because I told everyone that it’s her fault I’m on that stage. Then she started to say…” I said and Nick finishes my sentence.
“She doesn’t want to admit that she is a fan. She likes the song The Shape of My Heart.” Nick said girly voice.
“And then I just ran off the stage to not say any word. So in this point remember… Nick and I haven’t talked to each other face to face until he finds out which cabin I’m staying in the ship.” I said and Ellen chuckled smiling.
“So is this the part where I’m charming?” Nick asked smiling and everyone shouted NO.
“Sorry Nick, but you sound like very ****head.” Ellen said and everyone started to laugh and clap.
“Oh great… Now I’m bullied.” Nick said and smiled.
“Oh sorry baby…” I said smiling and gave her a kiss.
“Get a room!” Ellen shouted laughing and smiled.
“Shall I continue now?” Nick asked from me smiling.
“Go ahead.” I said smiling.
“So…” Nick cleared his throat and smiles. “I found her cabin and we talked. I went to apologize my behavior. I’m glad she except my apology and we went to our separate ways until…” Nick said smiling.
“He started to stalking me.” I said and everyone gasps.
“No… You did?” Ellen asked smiling from Nick.
“I wasn’t stalking you. I was only curious about NASCAR.” Nick said defending himself.
“Oh really? Then why did to gone all the way to Texas to look for me?” I asked smiling.
“You know why.” Nick said smiling.
“Tell me why?” I asked and Ellen chuckled.

“Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache.” Nick sang.
“Tell me why” Audience sang.
“Ain’t Nothin’ but a mistake.” Nick sang.
“Tell me why.” Audience sang.
“I never want hear you say.” Nick sang.
“I WANT IT THAT WAY!” Everyone sang loud.

Everyone started clapping.
“That was great but you didn’t answer my question.” I said smiling.
“I did. I want it that way.” Nick said smirking.
“That means he was stalking.” Ellen said smiling.
“Fine I was stalking, but is it really stalking if I wanted to see her?” Nick asked smiling.
“I was surprised you did want to see me, but I’m glad you did.” I said smiling.
“Shall I continue?” Nick asked and Ellen nodded.

Nick told the rest of the story and I correct him sometimes when I needed to.
Our time was over and Nick performed one of his new songs: Special.
Nick wrote the song while we dated and it was perfect for this moment.
Ellen wished us lot of happiness and good fortune to our lives.
We said our goodbyes and after the show was over, Nick signed some autographs to fans.


Many years had gone and we were the most Carter celebrities talked on TV or magazines.
It was very risky to go outside without bodyguard and Nick decided I needed one.
It took me only 2 weeks say L-word to Nick after he said it first.
It was Halloween when I said it. It just came out automatic like I had said it before.

People kept asking in Nick’s interviews if he was ever going to pop the question.
He only said that we had decided to talk about it when that time comes, but now it’s the time.
We are happy just the way we are and we are not hurrying things, but I was about to be 36.
If we wanted to have kids, we should be doing it very soon, but Nick is busy with his music and I’m busy with my NASCAR career. I was no longer only woman in NASCAR. Andy’s little sister Bonnie Parker is now racing and she and I are getting to be good friends. My best friend Brooke if you remember that calls me as Carter is now married and had 3 kids. Triplets, believe it or not.

We were now living in the Vegas. We thought it’s perfect place live, because we started dating there and I won my first Champion. Now I was practicing rounds on the track with my new Honda.
Before this season I had won 4 champions. Andy won 3 champions after my first champion, but then something terrible happened. On my 2nd champion win, Andy end up to terrible NASCAR accident with 2 other drivers. He’s no longer able to walk or drive. After that day his sister Bonnie decided to continue his footsteps.

I was driving my 8th practice round when I heard Cliff’s voice.
“Beth? You have visitor.” Cliff said.
“Who? I don’t have time for visitors right now, Cliff.” I said and gas the paddle.
“I’m not allowed to say. It’s suppose to be surprise.” Cliff said.
“I’ll have 2 more rounds and I’m coming. Carter out.” I said and close the headset.

After I drove 2 rounds, I drove to garage where Cliff was waiting with my team.
I stopped the car and turn the engine off. I got out the car and removed my helmet off.
“So where’s this mysterious visitor?” I asked and removed gloves.
“Outside. He says he met you on the ocean.” Cliff said smirking.
“No… It can’t be Nick… He’s in tour.” I said and looked shocked.
“Go and find out.” Cliff said smiling.

I ran out the garage and saw Nick leading his back on the wall like he did 8 years ago.
He was looking at the phone and had same shades on his head. I walked closer to him smiling.
I cleared my throat to get his attention and he looked to my way, but didn’t move.
“Babe… What are you doing here?” I asked smiling.
“Do I need a reason to come see my girlfriend?” He asked smiling.
“You are suppose to be at tour with guys.” I said and put my hands behind his neck.
“We have few days off and we arrived to Vegas today. I thought you remember that.” He said and put his hands to my waist.
“Is it April 15th already?” I asked and looked at his apple watch.
“You are working too hard. How about you take rest of the day off?” He asked smiling.
“Ooooh… Tempting. I need to go ask from Cliff.” I said smiling.
“I already asked and he said yes.” He said smiling and leaned down to kiss me.
“You did?” I asked surprised and kissed him back.
“Yeah. I missed you so much.” He said smiling and touched my face.
“I missed you too. I need to go change and have a shower.” I said smiling and leaned up to kiss him again.
“That sounds very tempting to me. Can I join you?” He asked flirting and moved his hands to my butt.
“I thought you never ask.” I said smiling and took his hand to mine and we walked to garage.
“Cliff? Thank you for letting me have rest of the day off. I’ll be very early tomorrow.” I said.
“How about you have rest of the week? Race is not until next month and we have plenty of time.” Cliff said smiling.
“Umm No freaking way. I need to keep having practice rounds.” I said and looked at Cliff serious.
“Do you have to be always this stubborn? Just have rest of the week off. You deserve it.” Cliff said.
“I don’t know. Nick is going…” I turned to Nick, but he was no longer standing behind me, he was on his one knee.
“I’m what?” He asked smiling.
“What are you doing?” I asked curious.
“What man usually does when is in his one knee front of his girlfriend?” he asked smiling.
“Praying?” I asked joking.
“Elizabeth Mona Carter…” he started and I dropped to my knees now front of him.
“Stop it. You are not…” I said looking to his eyes, but he kept going.
“…I’ve been in love with you so long and I never thought I would never ask you this, but…” Nick said and pulled small box from his jacket inside pocket.
“Oh Gosh..” I only said when saw box in his hand.
“…Elizabeth, Will you marry me?” He asked and opened the box where was very unique looking ring.
“Oh Nick… Yes… YES!” I screamed happily and pulled him to myself to kiss him deeply.

I heard clapping behind me. We moved apart from kiss smiling and Nick put the ring to my finger.
“This ring is costume made. I asked from Cliff and Chuck if there would be any kind of circle kind of parts that could fit as ring. So that ring is from your old car parts. Just added diamond on it.” Nick explained and I looked at it.
“It’s the most beautiful ring I ever seen, Nick.” I said smiling and we get up to our feet.
“I thought you might like it.” he said smiling.
“I don’t like it. I love it.” I said smiling and turned to look at Cliff who was smiling.
“Congratulations.” Cliff said.
“You knew about this. You knew he is proposing me.” I said smiling and hugged Cliff.
“Of course I knew. He called me and asked my permission. I’m of course the closest thing as a father.” Cliff said.
“Yes you are. I love you, Cliff.” I said smiling.
“And I love you. Now you two should go celebrate your engagement.” Cliff said.
“Come with us.” Nick said smiling.
“Yes. I’ll just go get myself cleaned up and we go together.” I said smiling.
“This is your day. I need to stay here.” Cliff said.

Nick and I went to celebrate our engagement to our home. We had most romantic dinner we ever had. We make love many long hours and we decided to skip the dessert. After our long hour making love, we lay down on our bed all sweat and exhausted. I looked at my ring smiling and thought how crazy it was that we were dating this long and now we are engaged. I never been this happy in my life. I looked up to Nick and he looked at down to me smiling.
“What?” He asked.
“I love you, Nicholas Gene Carter.” I said and smirked to him.
“I love you, Elizabeth Mona Carter.” he said back smirking too.
“Too bad I can’t say you can call me as Mrs. Carter.” I said smiling.
“How about Miss. Carter? Oh no… Wait… That sounds like you are my sister.” Nick said and chuckled.
“Oh gross…” I said laughing.
“Yeah I know. So what are we going to do about this last name of ours?” He asked.
“What you mean?” I asked.
“Are we going to call you as Beth Carter or Beth Carter-Carter…” Nick thought.
“How about I’m Carter and you are Carter-Carter?” I asked smirking.
“No way. I don’t want to double my last name.” He said and moved to sit position.
“Why not? It’s like double 0 Seven. Except you would be Double Carter Seven.” I said and moved to sit on him.
“Well would that make you as Miss Pennyworth?” He asked smirking and moaned.
“We are not British people.” I said and started to move slowly on him.
“Hmmm… That’s true… Oh Babe…” He said smiling.
It was 7am when we finally get some sleep few hours.

We got married that year December 6th. Cliff walked me to the altar on my wedding day.
We had beautiful wedding at Hawaii. We had beach wedding and I didn’t have fancy dress.
It was most beautiful day to have the wedding.
We went for our honeymoon to Switzerland… I know… Not best place to go, but we thought it’s wintertime and we decided snow belongs to be part of the winter and Christmas.
On Nick’s birthday January 28th, I decided to surprise him with the special gift.
It’s of course his 40th birthday and I thought the best gift to him is telling that I’m pregnant.
September 10th, 2020 our twin boys were born: Collins and Colton. They were so precious little boys. Everyone loves them. Nick sure is so protective of them.

Now you know how my life turned out. Nothing special. I’m not special girl like Nick tells me I am.
We are happy and living our dreams. I’m still NASCAR racer and Nick doing his music with boys.
If you really must know one thing, I surely am related to President of United States. James Earl Carter Jr. Life is full of surprises.
In the end, I'm Nick's Dream Girl.

Deja Vu PART1 by Jannika
Author's Notes:
Short story about two people meeting first time, but did they?

I know this is my 4th short story about Nick... ^^
Nick is my favorite, but I'm TRYING my hardest to write about other guys. ^^

Boys and I landed to our next stop in our Tour.
We just landed to Milano, Italy.
We were all very exhausted and tired of this flying.
Tour wasn't even halfway done.

"Man... I think I forget my toothbrush to France." Howie said.
"I think your wife is gonna let you borrow hers." AJ said chuckling.
"Vete a la mierda, AJ."

We all started to laugh for Howie's cussing in Spanish.
I was about to take my carryon bag from the upper coppartment,
when suddenly this young woman past us all 4 in hurry.

"She was in a hurry." Brian said and smirked.
"I guess she was." I said and put my carryon down until I saw something on the floor.

I pick it up and notice it to be wallet or purse.
I open to look inside and see driving license inside it.
Woman must've drop it in the hurry.

"I'll catch you guys, later." I said and hurrying after woman with my carryon bag.
"Where the hell are you going, Nick?" AJ shouted after me.
"I have mission to do." I said and walked out the plane.

When I walked out to departure area,
I started to look if I can see woman that looked like in the wallet.
I thought she was at the luggage carousal,
but when I got there,
I didn't see anyone that looked like her.

"Shit..." I muttered and sat down to bench.
I waited few minutes when boys walked to me.
"Hey Mr. Mission Impossible." AJ said and smirked.
"Nick.. If you run like that ever again..." Mike said.
"I know... I'm sorry. Some woman dropped this and..."

I showed them wallet I found in the plane.
AJ took the wallet and looked inside.
"Pretty. How about just try to call for number." AJ said.
"What?" I asked shocked and took wallet.
"There's some business card inside of it." AJ said chuckling.

We took our luggage when they arrived to carousel.
We walked to outside the airport.
Few fans knew we were there,
but I moved aside with Mike to make some phone calls.
I called to first number and woman with old voice answered.

"Oh Hi... Hablando Ingles?" I asked and looked at Howie for some help.
"Si..." she said and I sighed relief.
"Hi... I found this wallet and I'm looking for..."

I looked at the name of the woman.
"Carmen Gomez."
"Oh Carmen... Si... I know her."
"Great... How can I contact to her?" I asked.

"Call number... Her number in the wallet."
She was speaking English, but badly, but good I understood.
"Oh... Ok... Can you call Carmen and tell her?"

Woman was talking some Spanish and I couldn't understand her.
"Howie... Please come talk to this woman." I begged.
Howie walked to me and I gave him my phone.
He talked to woman and few minutes later he hang up.

"What she said?" I asked.
"To call a number on the wallet." Howie said and walked to SUV after giving my phone back.
I followed Howie to inside the SUV and search the wallet and couldn't find any kind of business card that said Carmen Gomez.

"Shit..." I said in quiet voice.
"You ok there, Nick?" Brian asked from the front seat.
"There's no number to call Carmen." I said.
"Maybe just go to police station to let them have it." AJ said.

I knew boys were right about that, but there was something familiar about this woman.
When we arrived to our hotel, I walked right to my hotel room and took next business card to check number to call.
I dialed number that belonged to Hugo Mendez.

"Mendez." I heard loud serious voice.
"Hugo Mendez?" I questioned.
"Yes? I am." Hugo said.
"Hey. I'm Nick Carter and I'm calling about Carmen Gomez." I said.
"Carmen? She ok?" Hugo asked worried.
"I don't know... I got her wallet. She dropped it in the plane here in Italy."

I hear silence at the other end of the call.
"Mr. Mendez?" I questioned.
"Sorry... She's my sister-in-law." Hugo said.
"You any chance have her number so I can call her and tell her I have her wallet?"

"She should have her number in the wallet." Hugo said.
"I checked and I couldn't find any number for Carmen Gomez." I said.
"Huh... That's odd." Hugo says and I hear some shuffling.
"So may I have her number?" I asked.
"What you say your name is again?" Hugo asked.
"Nick Carter."
"You sound like that guy from the Backstreet Boys." Hugo said.
"I get that a lot." I said chuckling.
"No way... You are, aren't you?" Hugo asked shocked.
"Yes. May I have a number please?" I asked.
"Yes... Hold on..." Hugo said and I heard some paper shuffling noises again.

Hugo gave me number and we hang up so I can call to Carmen.
All of suddenly I get nervous.
I didn't know why.
I dialed number and waited for few second when male voice answered.

"Quen es este?"
"Hablando Ingles?" I asked.
"Yes. What?"

His voice was mad and angry.
"I'm looking for Carmen Gomez."
"There no one name as that."
Then he disconnected the call.

"Ok... I'm sure he's lying."
I decided to do something stupid and crazy.
I called to some phone company that they have in Italy.

"Come posso aiutarti?" young woman answered.
"Umm... Hello? Speak English?" I asked.
"Yes. How may I help you?"

"Well... My friend's sister-in-law has been gone few days.
I was asked to go get her from airport this yesterday evening and I didn't see her getting out the plane. Could you help me track her phone?"
"I don't know should I."
"Oh please... Miss..."
"Monica... It's not Carmen's kind of thing just dissappear.
I talked to her brother-in-law and he said she always answers."
"Could you hold on a minute?" Monica asked and I said I could wait.

I opened the Carmen's wallet and looked through once again and I saw some picture of her and some people.
"Sir?" Monica said on the line.
"Yes. I'm here."
"What's her number?" Monica asked.
"You are an angel, Monica."

We talked few minutes and she told me the address where the phone track is coming from.
We said our goodbyes and I hang up.
I took my jacket, hotel room key, Bucs cap on and sunglasses before I walked out.
I was walking to elevator when I heard Brian's voice.

"Yo, Nicky... Where are you going?"
"Out. Alone." I said and walked to elevator when doors opened.
"You shouldn't go alone." Brian said and walked inside too.
"B... I want to be alone." I said.

"You know how our fans are like. I'll call Q." Brian said and picked his phone.
"Don't... I don't want him to be involve with this." I blurted out and I sighed when I knew what I just said.
"Involve with what?" Brian asked.

I told Brian my idea what I'm about to do when we sat in the lobby.
"Are you crazy?!" Brian shouted.

I notice everyone in the hotel lobby looking our direction.
I pulled Brian aside to not let anyone hear us.
"Could you keep it down?" I hissed.
"No. What you are about to do is suicidal." Brian said.

"I just want to go see that it was only wrong number." I said and put sunglasses on me.
"I'm coming with you." Brian said.
"B, no." I said and looked at him.
"Why not? You can't go all by yourself." Brian said.

"I need you to stay here. If you don't hear about me in 6 hours, call cops to this address."
I showed piece of paper to Brian.
"No, Nick... Let's just call cops now." Brian said.
"Frick... Trust me on this one." I begged.

I manage to beg Brian to stay and I took taxi to address that Monica gave me.
It took 15 minutes to get there and whole area wasn't looking very safe.
Driver pulled up to near the house that looked like from the horror movie.

"You sure this is the place?" I asked from driver.
"Yes. It creeps me out." driver said.
"Do me favor... Could you stop your car near by that tree other side of street?"
"Why would I do that?" driver asked.
"You'll get 1000 euros." I said and driver smiled.
"Yes. I'll wait there."

I got out the car and driver moved his taxi near the tree.
I looked at the driver shut the engine.
I turned to look at the house again.

"I should've listen Brian." I said quietly and sighed.
I saw some bright light shine from the window on the left.
Walked towards the gate that was around the house.
I looked at the gate and I somehow knew it would make lot of noise if I moved it.

I looked at my watch and it was 5pm already.
It was little chilly too.
I climbed over the fence carefully to not make any noise.
I looked around me if anyone was seeing me.

I didn't care at this moment.
I moved closer to the house and listened.
"Puttana del cazzo!"
I have no idea what that man just shouted,
but I bet nothing good.

"Mi dispiace tanto, Riccardo."
That was woman crying.
"Sei una puttana, Carmen!"
Carmen... I got the right place.

I knew it was risky, but I pick up my phone and dialed the Carmen's number.
I heard some buzzing sound and then I heard Riccardo shout.
"Stesso numero di chiamata!"
"Please Riccardo. Let me answer it."

She was now suddenly talking English.
"Who is dis motherfucker?" Riccardo asked.
"Non lo so."
"Get rid of him whoever asshole it is!"

I heard some loud footsteps walking away.
I heard Carmen sniffing and then I heard her voice on my cell.
"Hello?" she sounded so sad.

"Carmen Gomez?" I questioned quietly and moved little further away from the window.
"Yes? Who is this?" she asked.
"Your knight in shine armor." I said and sighed.
"You what? How did you get this number?"
"Does it matter? Your boyfriend is a douche." I said.

"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry... Reason why I'm calling is that, I got your wallet."
"You robber me?" She asked.
"No... You got out the plane today in a hurry. You dropped it."

I heard her moving and going through her stuff.
"Shit... I didn't noticed. Where I can meet you?"
"Who said I'm going to meet you?"
"Listen to me you dick..."

I started to chuckle.
"Wow... You are very close to know my name."
"Just please... Where can we meet?" she begged.
"How about in the front porch?"

I couldn't hear her voice in minute and then she sighs.
"Nice try to, mister. I don't see no one outside."
"Listen Carmen... I'm here now. Come outside. You see cab outside near the tree?"

I saw her peak outside through curtains.
"Yes... You in it?" she asked.
"Nope. I'm outside. Just get excuse to come outside."
"You don't know Riccardo..."

"I know enough that he's douche."
"What about you, huh? I don't know your name."
"My name's Nick Carter. You might've heard of me."
"Did my sister make you do this?" she asked.

I had to smile to that and I took small walk towards to house.
"Look outside if you don't believe me."

I saw her peak outside again and I saw her eyes get big when she saw me.
"Hi. Want to come outside now?" I asked.
"Umm... Give a minute." she said and hang up on me.

I moved again backward to be in the shadows just in case.
I heard some yelling and shouting.
I was about to take step towards, but door opens wide and then slams after when Carmen walks outside.

She looks around to look for me and I climbed over fence to street.
I come out to shadows and she jumps scares when sees me.
"Gosh... You scared the hell out of me." She said.
"Hey Carmen. Nice to finally meet you in person."

"How did... How did you know where I am?" she asked and blushed.
"I got my ways." I said and handed her the wallet.
"Oh My Gosh... Thank you." she takes the wallet and smiles.
"You are welcome. Are you sure you are okay with Riccardo?" I asked worried.

She was about to talk and then we heard door open.
We turned to look direction of the house.
Riccardo walked to us angry.

Before I can respond to make Riccardo listen, he pulls the gun out.
"BITCH!" He shouted and then he pulled the trigger.
I heard Carmen scream loud when there was loud bang.
I suddenly started to feel strange.
I must've move front of Carmen and Riccardo.

"Carmen..." I said low voice and turned to look at her.
"Nick?" Carmen questioned when looked at me.
I looked down to my stomach and I saw red on my shirt.
"Shit..." I said and fall down on the ground.
"Nick!" Carmen shouted and knelt to beside me.

"Hang on Nick!" Carmen said and dialed emergency number from my cell.
I started to cough and I tasted blood in my mouth.
"No... Nick, please... Hang on." Carmen said and pressed my wound to stop bleeding.
"Car... I..." I said weakly and kept coughing.
"Ssshhh... Don't talk. Ambulance is here soon. Hang on." Carmen said.

I couldn't hold any longer and my eyes started to feel heavy.
I heard Carmen shout my name and I felt her shake me to wake up, but I couldn't open my eyes.

End Notes:
I'm bit unsure still how to end this story so I'm working on the part 2.
Deja Vu PART 2 by Jannika

"Nick! Wake up! Yo Nick!"
That wasn't Carmen.
"Yo Frack!"
That was Brian.

I suddenly opened my eyes and saw that I was back in plane.
It must've been dream. Nightmare to my taste.
"Hey Sleeping Beauty." AJ said and chuckled.
"Gosh... Are we landed yet?" I asked.
"Yes we are landed. Milano, Italy."

I stretched on my seat and looked around until Howie says.
"Man... I think I forget my toothbrush to France."
"I think your wife is gonna let you borrow hers." AJ said chuckling.
"Vete a la mierda, AJ." Howie said.

All 3 of them was laughing, but I wasn't.
They said those words exactly in my dream.
I shake it off my head and stood up to get my carryon bag,
but then I notice woman past us in a hurry.

"She was in a hurry." Brian said and smirked to me.
I didn't replied to him when he looked at me.
I'm looking down, I see wallet on the ground.
I pick it up and quickly took my carryon before running after woman.

I heard AJ shouting after me, but I didn't give a shit.
I was hoping to be faster to reach to Carmen.
In the departure area I saw her hurrying through people and I try to keep up.

"Hey! Carmen!" I shouted.
I sounded like some kind of freak running after a woman.
She must hasn't hear me shouting after her.
She was fast with her feet.

I excuse the young couple when I past them and looked front of me to look for her,
but I didn't see her.

I walked out the airport giving shit if I didn't have my luggage.
When I walked outside, I started to look around to see if I can see her.
I then see her getting inside the car where is standing Riccardo.

I stopped on my tracks and looked when they are just driving away.
I'm planning to follow them.
At least I know the address...
Somehow I had good memory.

I was about to walk to taxi post until I felt hand on my arm.
"Whatta fuck is your problem running like that?!" Mike shouted at me.
"Mike... I have to go. Please let go of my arm." I begged and looked at Mike.

I saw other guys walk outside to me and AJ looks at me confused.
"Where's the fire, Carter?"
I looked at all of them and try to figure out quickly what to say.
"I... I thought I could catch up with woman who dropped this."
I show them wallet and AJ takes it to look at it.

"Pretty. How about just try to call for number." AJ said.
I snap the wallet back from AJ.
"I know that. I just happen to get the address where she lives."
"Why not just leave it to cops?" AJ asked.

I was starting to feel like Deja Vu by hearing him saying same words in my dream.
"We got time till soundcheck, right?" I asked and all of them nods.
"I'll just take it to her. I know the address." I said and walked to taxi.
"Frack wait..." Brian said when walked after me.
"Frick no. I'm not letting you go with me." I said and he looked at me surprised.
"How did you know I was gonna say that?" Brian asked.
"Because I know you that well. Just call the cops if I don't get back to hotel in 3 hours tops."
"Won't get back? Dude... You are taking Q or Mike with you." Brian said.
"No... I need to do this by myself." I said and opened the backseat door to taxi.
"At least tell me where are you going." Brian begged.

I asked same driver that I had in my dream if he got any paper.
He gave me paper and pen and I write down to it address and gave it to Brian.
He looks at the paper and then me.
"3 hours, Brian. That's all I'm asking." I begged and got inside the taxi.

It took 20 minutes this time to get there than 15 minutes.
Driver pulled up to near the house that looked exactly the same as in my dream.
Now I just need to think what am I going to say.

"House creeps me out." driver said.
"Tell me about it." I said and sighed when remember how he said those exact words in my dream.
I looked at the house few more seconds and then looked at driver.
"You'll get 1000 euros to wait near the light post next to mailbox." I said and decided to change the tree for light post instead.
"Yes. I'll wait there." he said.
I got out the taxi and looked driver drove next to light post that looked like it was close to tree also.
Fuck he stopped to same spot like in my dream.

I turned to look at house and this time decided to just open fence gate.
I heard shouting and crying.
Exact same words like in my dream.
I walked to porch and listen.

"Puttana del cazzo!"
"Mi dispiace tanto, Riccardo."
"Sei una puttana, Carmen!"

Great... Those are the same words.
I took deep breathe and knock the door.
Shouting stopped and loud foot steps reach to door.
Door opened and Riccardo was standing there.

"Cosa vuoi, teppista?"
I have no idea what the man just said.
"Sorry. I'm American." I shuttered.
"Oh yeah? What you want motherfucker?"
"Is Carmen Gomez home?" I asked.

I shouldn't ever ask that, I got same answer than in my dream.
"Here no live any that person." He said and slammed the door shut.
Great... What now? I know she's in there.
I walked off the porch and past fence gate when I heard door open behind me.
I turn around and see Carmen walking out the house at me.

"Oh my god! You are Nick Carter!" she gasped.
"Yeah... You are Carmen Gomez?" I asked even I knew who she is.
"That's me. I'm sorry about Riccardo. He's not use to visitors." Carmen said.
"That's ok. I'm here for this." I said and show her the wallet.
"Oh My Gosh... Thank you. I looked for it everywhere." she takes the wallet and smiles.
"You are welcome." I said and looked bit scared that Riccardo would be coming out with the gun.

"How did you know where I live?" she finally asked.
"I have my ways. You know... I'm celebrity." I said smiling.
"Thank you so much bringing this for me." she said and suddenly she hugs me.
"No problem, Carmen." I hugged her back.

We moved away from hug to look at each others eyes and then we heard door open.
We turned to look direction of the house.
Not my surprised, Riccardo walked to us angry.

For my lucky reflex I manage to move both us behind the tree to hide from shot.
"BITCH! Do not hide!" He shouted and then he pulled the trigger.
I heard Carmen scream loud when bullet hit the tree.

"Oh My God! He's going to kill us!" Carmen shouted and cried.
"He won't." I said and started to think.
"Carmen! Puttana traditrice!" Riccardo shouted and pulled the trigger again.
This time it scratch to my shoulder.
"Son of bitch!" I yelled and hold my arm.
"Riccardo! Stop!" Carmen yelled and walked from behind the tree.
"Carmen... Don't..." I said worried and fall to ground leaning against the tree while bleeding.
"You cheating! With him! I saw how you hugged him!" Riccardo shouted and then there was loud bang.

I closed my eyes and waited to feel another shot at me, but I didn't feel anything.
Carmen was standing still in shocked where she was standing front of Riccardo.
I quickly tried to get on my feet to see that she's ok.
Then I saw Riccardo on his knees holding his hand to his chest.

"You... Bitch..." he said and fall down on the ground.
"Riccardo? Oh No... RICCARDO!" Carmen yelled and ran to him.
She pulled him to face to her and looked at lifeless body in her arm.
"Carmen... He's... Dead." I said and fall to ground to sit against the fence.
"I didn't shot him!" she shouted at me.

I looked around to see if I see anyone and then I saw taxi driver standing 10 feet away from us, gun in his hand.
"You?" I questioned and looked at driver.
"All is okay now." driver said.
"Wow... Wait... Wait..." I said and stand up weakly to my feet to look at driver.
"I'm police officer in the cover. We've been looking for this asshole years." taxi driver said.
"You didn't need to shot him!" Carmen shouted angrily.
"He shot Mr. Carter here." Driver said and pointed at me.
"Self-defense?" I questioned and he nodded.

It took an hour when police and ambulance arrived to Carmen's house.
I was sitting in the ambulance while paramedic took care of my arm.
Black SUV car stopped next to taxi and 3 guys got out of it.
AJ, Brian and Howie with our bodyguards.

They were walking toward to ambulance but police men stopped them to not get any closer.
"It's okay, Marz. Let them through." I shouted and groaned.
"Dude. What happened?" AJ asked when walked to me with guys.
"I got shot to shoulder." I said.
"Why?" Howie asked.

I didn't answer and looked to direction of Carmen.
She was talking with some cops on her porch.
Guys looked the direction of where I was looking.
"You got shot by her?" Brian asked.
"What? No... He shot me..." I said and nodded my head to direction of the other ambulance.
"Why did you get shot?" Howie asked for finding answers.
"You wouldn't believe me." I said and chuckled.
"You think it's funny to get shot?" Brian asked.
"I brought her wallet and guy got mad." Nick said.

I heard Carmen's voice near us.
"Why won't you just say that you got shot cause of jealousy?"
"Hey Carmen. You okay?" I asked and smiled.
"I should be asking that." she said and smiled.
"So he got shot because of guy being jealous?" AJ asked and looked at Carmen.
"Yeah. I'm Carmen Gomez. Nice to meet you guys." Carmen said and shook their hands.

We talked few more minutes and said goodbye to Carmen before we moved off the area.
Boys and I sat in the car in silence until AJ said.
"So Nick..."
I lift my head to look at him.
"Got her number?" He asked and smirked.
"Vete a la mierda, AJ." I said laughing.

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