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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sometimes love is not enough to stay together. You can always read signs wrong as Nick did when he fall in love to Lilith.
Lilith has been deaf since she was born and had a hard to trust anyone. As deaf person, it was hard for her to find love. She thought Nick was it.

Birds flying, cars driving, people chatting… I can only see those things. I’ve been deaf since I was born. I’m glad to have friends though. I didn’t have any friends in grade school. I was bullied a lot. When I went to high school, I get to meet some really good people. I met my translator in high school and we became best friends. Her name is Monica Codrad. I learned to read from the lips over the years when people talked around me.

After High school I wanted to become hairdresser. Monica knew someone who could help me to get started with my so called career. Her name is Rochelle Karidis. I started to be good friends with her. Now we were sitting and talking in the café like we do every day almost. Well in this case she’s talking and I’m reading from her lips.

“He just doesn’t give up.” She said.
“Wha? He’s not?” I asked. I do talk, but unclear. I’m lucky to have friends whose understands me.
“He got balls.” she said.
“He sur do. What is his name again?” I asked and took a sip of my tea.
“AJ, Alex, J… You choose.” She said and drank her coffee same time watching her watch.
“Mmm… I should go back to work.” She said.
“You goin to waitress wole your life?” I asked unclear, but she knew what I asked.
She looked at me smiling.
“No, but I promise you, Lilith. You and I will someday be something great.” She said and stood up.
“Oh shu up. I going too. See you late?” I asked and she hugged me before I left.

December 17th, 2011 it’s Rochelle’s and Alex’s wedding. I couldn’t go that day because that was same day my mom have her birthday. My mom was turning to 50 and she thought it’s not important to celebrate. For me it is important so I took her to restaurant. Dad left us when I was only 1 year old. He told my mom that he is too young to be father. Mom was 20 when she had me and dad was 19. It really was too soon for them, but mom never gave up. She raised me by herself. Never get married later on. She was happy to be my mom over 25 years until I moved out to live with Monica. I’m lucky to have her as roommate and translator at the same time. One night we were watching movie and she suddenly stood up. I asked what is going and she said someone is at the door. Person who was behind the door was Monica’s little sister Susan. She needed place to stay for a while.
Her girlfriend cheated on her. I never met Susan before. She was such a mess. Next morning she was making breakfast. I walked to fridge.

“Good morning.” I said and of course she didn’t remember I can’t hear. I saw her lips and head moving. I waved my hands to her and she looked at me.
“Wha?” I asked.
“Sorry. I forgot you are…” Susan said, but didn’t finish her sentence.
“It’s ok. I’m deaf.” I said smiling.
“How can you understand me then?” she asked.
“I’m reading from your lips.” I said and signed it also.
“I never thought sign language can be sexy.” Susan said smiling. Did she just said that? I felt my cheek blush.
“Oh… I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asked.
“No. Neve hear som one say that.” I said.
“You happen to know any single lesbian?” She asked.
“No. I’m sorry. May be Monica do.” I said. She just shakes her head for no.
“Go to bars?” I asked.
“I don’t do bars. I’m in rehab.” she said.
“Good for you. I neve have drink.” I said and she looks at me surprised.
“Never?” she questioned.
“No. I always be good girl. No guy never ask me out.” I said and started to make coffee.
“Never?” she questioned again and I shake my head for no when looked at her.
“You are gorgeous. I would ask you out if you were lesbian.” she said smiling.
“That very nice of you. I am 31 and no man.” I said and sighed.
“Someday you will.” she said smiling.

Next day Rochelle video called me to ask me to come for lunch. I said I would and asked to Monica to give me a ride. I ringed the bell and AJ opened the door and was standing there smiling.

“You must be Lily?” He asked. I never met him before. I heard he’s in the boy band called The Backstreet Boys.
“Yes. You must be Alex.” I said.
“Yes. Come in.” he said and opened the door for more open to let me in.
“Thank you.” I said and walked in. Rochelle walked to me smiling.
“Lilith. It’s so great to see you.” She said in sign language.
“You too. You look great.” I said back in sign language.
“Oh please. 4 months more and I’m happy to be mother.” she said.
“Oh I want to be mother someday.” I said and we walked to living room.
“Oh Lilith… There’s going to be someone in your life someday.” She sign language to me. I notice her look somewhere and I looked at her curious.
“Babe. Could you open the door?” She asked when I read her lips.
“Got more guests?” I asked in sign language.
“Must be just neighbor.” She said and we walked to kitchen where Rochelle finished the lunch.
“Wan my help?” I asked unclear.
“You could set the table.” She said and pointed to cabinet where I can find plates.

I walked to the cabinet in the diner room and started to look for plates. I saw shadow on the wall and turn around to see person behind me.

“Oh My Goh!” I scared when there was man standing behind me.
“I’m sorry. Just asking if you need help?” he asked. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He talked too fast.
“Wha?” I asked and looked at him.
“What?” He questioned back at me. Rochelle walks to room and says something to him. He turns to me shocked.
“Wow… I’m sorry.” he said.
“About wha?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just going now.” He said and just walked away. I looked at Rochelle.
“Who was that?” I asked in sign language.
“Nick. Alex’s bandmate.” She said in sign language.
“What he was sorry about?” I asked in sign language.
“He didn’t know you are deaf.” she signed to me.
“He didn’t need to just leave.” I signed to her.
“He just came to talk about work.” She signed at me.
“He’s rude I would say. No balls to say why to say he’s sorry.” I signed to her.
“He just broke up with his girlfriend. He’s just sad and pissed.” She signed to me and then AJ walks in.
“Can we put another plate to table?” He asked from Rochelle.
“Why?” Rochelle asked when I read their lips.
“I invited Nick. That’s okay?” He asked.
“Lily? Are you going to be okay if Nick joins us for lunch?” Rochelle asked out loud, but I read from her lips and I only nodded.

I ate looking at all 3 of them talking. I read from their lips. They were talking about unborn baby and so many other things. I sometimes notice Nick looking at my direction and smiled weakly. I had to think of something to get away from them for a while.

“I nee to go batrom” I said unclear voice when I got up.
“Sure. Upstairs, first door on the right.” Rochelle signed for me.
“Is she really deaf?” I read from Nick’s lips when he asked from AJ.
“Jus so you kno… I can read your lips.” I said to Nick unclear voice before I walked to upstairs. He’s so stupid.

“Gosh… Fuck… I’m an idiot.” Nick said when I was gone.
“Way to go, jackass.” AJ said.
“She must think I’m stupid or something. Should I go and talk to her?” Nick asked.
“Just let her be, Nick. Just talk to her when she comes back.” Rochelle said.
“Are you two going to stay and listen?” Nick asked.
“No, but we will from kitchen so… Better be good.” Rochelle said and pulled AJ with her to kitchen.

I walked back to diner room and only saw Nick sitting there alone. I sit to my seat and looked at him. He looked at me and smiled.

“Wha?” I asked.
“I’m sorry if I was rude.” he said.
”Seems lik you hate def people.” I said unclear.
“No. I don’t hate you. I’ve been just…” He said and I finished his sentence.
“Jerk? Asshol?” I questioned. He looks at me and stands up.
“I… I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m pissed at her. I’m sorry if I was stupid. I must’ve ruined your day.” He said and sat next to me to another chair.
“Ro told me. Seem lik ever one aroun me tell me they broke up, going married or have babies…” I said unclear and signed at the same time frustrated. He leans back in his chair and I turn to look at him. He’s smiling again.
“Wha?” I asked.
“Nothing. You just seem to be jealous of people having babies and getting married.” He said.
“Oh no… I not… I neve…” I couldn’t finish my sentence when Rochelle walked in.
“Okay… Who is ready for dessert?” She asked and signed it as well.
“I should go.” I read from Nick’s lips. Please don’t go.
“Yeah? Don’t you want to have small blueberry muffin?” Rochelle asked.
“If he wan to go, let him go.” I said and surprised myself when I said that. Both looked at me. I didn’t want him to go, but I didn’t want to sound desperate.
“I’m jus def. Wha do I know?” I said.
“She’s right. I have things to do.” Nick said and stood up. He’s leaving. Please don’t.
“It was very nice to meet you, Lilith.” Nick said when looked at me. He’s leaving.
“It was very nice to meet you too.” I said and signed it also to him. He turned to look at Rochelle.
“Thank you for the dinner.” Nick said and walked out the house. When am I going to see him?
“Lilith?” Rochelle waved at me to have my attention.
“Wha?” I asked
“What did I interrupt?” She asked in sign language.
“Nothing. He was rude.” I signed back to her. I was lying now?
“But I heard you two talking.” She signed to me.
“You devil. I don’t want to see him again.” I signed to her. Keep lying, Lilith.
“Oh come on, Lily. He’s not so bad. He will be around a lot. You know that.” She signed for me.
“He definitely hates deaf people.” I signed to her.
“He doesn’t. Alex told me that Nick told him that Nick thinks you are very attractive.” She signed to me and smiled. Didn’t see like he did.
“Bullshit. Can you take me home?” I asked in sign language.
“Sure. Want some muffins to go?” She asked and I nodded.

I was back home finally and I was hoping so bad… Really hope I won’t see Nick ever again in my life! I was wrong though. November 27th, 2013 I went to McLean’s house to celebrate their daughter’s birthday. Ava was turning one year old. It’s been 2 years since I saw him. Nick Carter. Most asshole and sexiest person I ever met.
I still remember him asking from Alex if I’m really deaf. Ugh… And pretending that he thinks I’m attractive.
That’s such a bull. No one says deaf people are attractive. Talking is difficult, listening sucks and communication is awful. I walked in their house and greeted Alex’s mom Denise.

“Hey. Good to see you again, Lily.” She said smiling.
“You too. Where is Rochelle?” I asked.
“In the kitchen with other Backstreet wives.” Denise said.
I walked to kitchen and saw all 4 Backstreet wives.
“Hey.” I said and waved shy.
“Lilith… You made it.” Rochelle said excited.
“Of course. I love Ava. She’s cutest little princess I ever seen.” I said smiling.
“She’s such a doll.” one of the Backstreet wives said.
“Oh she surely is. I wish I had a daughter.” Other one said.
“Presents are in the living-room. You can put them in there.” Rochelle said.

I walked to direction of living-room and I greeted people same time on my way to room.
I was closer to gift table and I wasn’t surprised to see Nick here. He was standing close to gift table with some people chatting. I tried to read from his lips what he was talking.

“Bucs will kick Broncos ass next time.” “I’ll drink for that.” “How you know Alex and Rochelle?”

He took sip of his drink he was having. I walked closer to gift table and my heart started to jump like crazy. Why was I feeling like this? I hate this guy. He didn’t see me yet, but when I walked closer to gift table he noticed me and looked surprised. I put gift on the table after I waved him. He waved back to me and turned to talk to same guys again. I was walking pass people and end up to talk to Denise. I was talking like 10 minutes when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to see Nick behind me smiling. Denise left us alone to talk. Gosh he looks so hot. Did I just think of that?

“Hey. How are you?” He asked.
“Good. You?” I asked.
“Good. I’m good. I did another solo album.” He said smiling.
“I rea abou it. I’m Takin Off, right?” I questioned.
“Yes. You heard it?” He asked and I raised my eyes brows up when I looked at him.
“Oh shit… I’m an idiot.” He said.
“Yea you are. It okay thou.” I said smiling.
“It’s not okay. I should’ve been smart about more than that.” He said and sighed.
“I for giv you.” I said unclear and smiled. He looks surprised.
“You do?” He asked and I nodded smiling. He smiled back to me.

We were talking several minutes when I got jumped by AJ touching my shoulder.
“Dam it.” I said when turn to look at AJ.
“Sorry.” AJ signed to me.
“You are such a jerk to scare her like that.” Nick said.
“You are the better talk. If I’m correct, you scared her when you first time met her.” AJ said and put his hand around my shoulder.
“Because I didn’t know she’s deaf, AJ.” Nick said and they started to argue.
“Guys… Stop it.” I said and looked at both.
“Lilith… He’s been jerk. Is he bothering you?” AJ asked from me concern.
“No he’s not. We were talking.” I signed to him.
“I don’t understand, lily.” AJ said.
“I think she said I don’t bother her.” Nick said. AJ looks at me and I nodded.
“Okay then. I’m sorry I interrupted.” AJ said and walked away. I turned to look at Nick.
“Am I bothering you? Just say yes and I’m gone.” Nick said and pointed outside.
“You are no botering me.” I said unclear and signed to him.
“Good. Want a drink? Cola or water?” He asked.
“Coffee. I want coffee.” I said smiling.
“Coffee it is.” He said and we walked to kitchen what was empty. Nick poured coffee to two cups.
“I drink my blak.” I said unclear.
“So do I.” He said and gave me one of the cups. I took cup and take sip of it.
“Is it good?” He questioned and I nodded satisfied.

Day went fast when you are having so much fun. We were singing happy birthday to Ava when Alex brought cake to dinner table. As deaf, I couldn’t hear anything. Everyone’s mouth was moving same time. All were smiling and singing. I tried little too, but I must fail badly. Nick offer to get me piece of cake. I walked to outside sit to bench at the back porch with my coffee. It was lovely day to celebrate birthday. It took 2 minutes when Nick walked to me with two plates, cake on top of it. He gave me one and sat next to me to bench. We were just sitting and eating to not talk. Some people came to say goodbye to us when they left. I wasn’t planning to go just yet. I had so much fun talking with Nick. We talked most of the time in the party. I teach him some easy sign language and I have to admit that he’s quick learner.

“You ar doin great.” I said unclear and signed to him.
“Thank you.” He signed. I correct him little bit by touching his hand to show him how to say Thank You correctly.
“Oh. Sorry.” He said smiling.
“Don be sorry. You are jus learnin.” I said unclear.
“And I say…” He said and signed Thank You. Perfectly this time. I smiled proud when he did that.
“Tha was perfect.” I said unclear and signed to him. He signed Thank You again. I signed You’re Welcome.
“Do you need ride back home?” He asked.
“No. Monica come to get me hom.” I said.
“Who is Monica?” He asked.
“My best frend and roo mate.” I said unclear again.
“Your what?” He looked at me unsure what I just said.
“Best frend…” I tried again and sighed.
“Best friend? Roommate?” He questioned.
“Both. Sorry it hard to understand me.” I said when looked at him.
“I understand you perfectly.” He smiled and I smiled back to him.
“So… Having naked pillows fights?” He asked and smirked.
“No. I won’t eve tell you if we did.” I said laughing.
“Then I’ll just imagine it.” He said and closed his eyes. I stood up to stand front of him looking at him.
“Oh no… Stop.” I begged smiling and playfully hit him.
“Oh wait… Wow… It looks so hot.” He said smiling still eyes closed.
“You are emballassin me.” I said unclear and laughing. He opens his eyes and looks at me.
“You don now?” I asked and he’s just looking at me all in his serious look.
“Wha?” I asked.
“You are so beautiful.” He signed that and I was surprised that he did that correct.
“I’m wha?” I asked again even I knew what he said.
“You know what I said.” He said smiling.
“I’m not beutiful.” I said and looked away. He turns my head to look at him.
“You are so beautiful.” He signed again smiling. I’m screwed right now. His eyes are so BLUE. His lips…
“Lilith…” He looked at me.

I couldn’t move and it felt like we were moving closer to each other. Suddenly I realize we are when our lips met and we had small kiss. I moved away from him quickly and walked away back inside. Did I just kiss him? I was kissing a guy I hate two years. What was happening to me? I sat to empty chair in the diner room. Everyone was gone already. AJ and Rochelle were nowhere to be seen. It was just me and Nick. He then walked in and sat next to me to other chair. I looked at him when he looked at me.

“Why did you run away?” He asked.
“Tha was so sudden and so wong.” I said.
“How is it wrong?” He asked.
“Nick… I hate you. I been hate you sin I met you.” I admit when looked at him. He didn’t look surprised.
“You kiss guys likes that when you hate them?” He asked and I smacked his cheek.
“Fuk you.” I shouted and walked away from him out the house.

I was standing outside 15 minutes when someone touched my shoulder gently. I scare jumped and turn to look at the person.

“Sorry. It’s me.” Rochelle signed to me and I just looked away.
“What happened?” She signed when looked at me.
“He kissed me.” I signed to her and started to cry.
“Who?” She asked.
“Nick. He kissed me and told me I’m beautiful.” I signed to her and cried out.
“Why are you crying then?” She signed to me.
“It’s wrong, Ro. He’s not deaf. I’m deaf. I won’t be able to ever hear his voice.” I signed to her.
“Oh Lily. He kissed you because he likes you. Don’t you remember when I said he thinks you are attractive?”
“I don’t want to believe it.” I signed to her.
“Why?” She signed to me.
“He’s just saying that to make me feel better. I’m not beautiful.” I signed to her.
“Do you hate him?” She signed.
“No. I like him.” I signed.
“You confused me, Lily.” She signed to me.
“I smacked his cheek.” I signed and confessed.
“You didn’t.” Rochelle looked shocked and I nodded.
“What did he do?” Rochelle signed to me.
“He asked if I kiss guys like that when I hate them.” I signed to her.
“He shouldn’t say that. Want me to go in there and give him lesson?” Rochelle signed to me.
“Just take me home. Monica is not coming until in 2 hours and I just want to go home.” I signed.
“You can’t just run away from him.” She signed to me.
“What else I should do?” I asked in unclear voice.
“Talk to him.” She said.

I really didn’t have another choice here so we walked back inside. Rochelle asked me to wait at the kitchen. I didn’t know what was going on. I notice Rochelle being furious at the door frame when walked to diner room. I couldn’t quite understand what she said, but she pointed her finger to my direction. Alex then walked to her to make her calm. He saw me watching and smiled to my direction and moved Rochelle with him out of my sight. I walked to see closer and looked to diner room. No one was there. Where did they go? I kept walk around the house and kept looking for someone. I end up to upstairs and saw some shadows coming from the room. There were only 2 shadows and they were like dancing, but I doubt these two didn’t. I walked closer to door and peeked inside. AJ and Rochelle were talking. It might’ve of been arguing this point, because their mouth moved so fast and hands were going different directions. I tried to read some words from them.

“Nick is…” “He need to…” “Which side are…”

They were talking about Nick. Rochelle must have told AJ what happened. I tried to read some more. I tried to focus on AJ this time and caught some words.

“He’s outside…” “He better be sorry.”

I moved away from the door and walked downstairs to see if Nick was outside. I walked to slide doors and looked through the slide door window to outside. He was sitting on the bench where we sat before. I knew I couldn’t walk quietly to him because he could hear me and I didn’t know if I was loud. I decided to just open door normally and I was right when he turn to my direction right after I walked out. He stood up and looked at me. I closed the door and then walked to closer to him. We really didn’t say anything to each other. I was afraid to look to his eyes. I might start crying. He took first step closer to me and pulled me to a hug. His lips touched my neck gently and I sensed him talk against my skin. I concentrate what he said. He was repeating it over and over until I knew what he said. He was apologizing. He said “I’m sorry” over and over again. I finally understand what he said. I tight my hands around him and hugged him. I said out loud I’m sorry too and let him know I understood him. We were hugged for moment and then Nick moves away from the hug and walks past me. I turn around to look at him, but he talks to AJ.

“I told you to not hurt her!” AJ yelled at him. I was shocked what he meant by that.
“I said I’m sorry. She and I are good now.” Nick said and looked at AJ.
“How should I believe you? Maybe you are just pretending to be sorry.” AJ said.
“Screw you, J!” Nick said and looked now pissed.
“What did you just said?” He questioned and begged him to say it again.
“I said. Screw. You.” He said and then AJ’s fist hit hard to Nick’s face. Nick touched his face to see blood.
“That was mistake.” Nick said and started to fish fight with AJ.
“Stop it!” I tried to scream, but they kept fighting on the ground.
“You promise to be nice to her!” AJ yelled middle of fight.
“I am!” Nick said when AJ hold him on the ground.
“STOP!” I kept shouting, but wasn’t sure if I was loud enough.
“Didn’t seem like it when you ask her stupid questions!” AJ yelled and hit him in the face.
“Rochelle!” I shouted when ran to inside. Rochelle walked to me and I just pointed to Nick and AJ.
“What are they fighting about?” Rochelle asked and walked outside. I followed Rochelle.
“I already said I’m sorry!” Nick yelled and kicked himself off of him.
“That’s not enough!” AJ shouted and dived at him when Nick’s back hit the tree.
“AJ! STOP IT ONCE!” Rochelle shouted and I could feel her anger shaking on the ground.
“You told me what he said to Lily!” AJ shouted and kept pushing Nick against the tree.
“I didn’t ask you to kill him! Let him go!” Rochelle shouted and pulled AJ off of Nick.
“I told Lilith I’m sorry.” Nick said breathless when fall down to sit on the ground against the tree.
“I fucking know you, Nick! You just pretend to like her.” AJ shouted.
“Think what you want. When I told you I thought she’s attractive, I meant it.” He said and looked at me.
“She hates you, dude. She won’t believe every word you say. You are womanizer and always will be.” AJ said.
“I don hate him.” I said unclear when I was standing still looking at them. All 3 of them looked at me.
“He’s not good for you, Lilith. He will eventually break your heart.” AJ said.
“Will you jus shu up!” I shouted at AJ and his looked shocked.
“He said he’s sorry.” I signed to Rochelle and she translated to guys.
“See? I told you and you didn’t believe me.” Nick said to AJ and stood up on the ground.
“Ro… Please make sense to them and say that this is not working.” AJ begged.
“I’m not going to stop them dating. So what she’s deaf. Nick will learn eventually sign language.” Rochelle said. AJ shook his head and just walked away to inside.
“Oh Ro… I will suck badly with sign language.” Nick said and walked little closer to us.
“How you think I learned?” Rochelle asked smiling and then left me and Nick alone.

I looked at Nick and saw his face being bad shape. He was bleeding little bit and I started to touch his face.
He winched when I touched small cut on his corner of eye brow. I really don’t know what is going on between two of us, but I think AJ is right. I’m deaf and communication with Nick is going to be horrible. . I had to talk to Nick about this. He deserve so much better than me. He needs someone that can communicate with him. Talk with him. Hear him sing. He is handsome guy I ever met, but I know in deep in my heart that he’s not for me. He took my hand to his and kissed it gently. He’s gentleman. He looks to my eyes and touched my cheek gently. Mom once told me that words don’t usually need to be said when you love someone. End of the day, Nick gave me ride back home because Monica video called me and said that she had emergency with her work. When Nick stopped at my house he looked at me smiling. We talked for several minutes and before I got out the car he asked me out on a date and I said yes right away.

We had our date in his house week later. We really didn’t want to be spotted in public. We were in his kitchen and he was cooking. I love man who can cook. I have no idea what he was doing for us. He said it’s going to be healthy and delicious. I started to believe him. His house looks so beautiful from the outside as inside. It’s near the ocean and the beach. While Nick was cooking, I decided to look outside through the window. It was gorgeous view. Sun was already setting down. I don’t have this kind of view from my house. I was getting jealous just for this view. Now I just wanted to stand here every night watch sun going down and every morning sun coming up. That was just the fantasy. I saw Nick’s reflection on the window when he walks to me. I just stand still and wait him to stand next to me, but he stops right behind me and put his hands around my waist. This man can be very smooth and gentle. His reflection was clear and I can read from his lips when he says, “You looks so beautiful standing here.” I was smiling and he smiled too. He spoke again, “Dinner is almost ready. What you want for drink?” I turn to look at him and smiled and keep his hands on my waist.

“Wate is fin.” I said smiling.
“Sure. I have wine too if you like.” He said and touched my cheek.
“I don drink.” I said. He looked at me surprised.
“You in rehab?” He asked and I shook my head for no.
“I neve had drink.” I said.
“Let me get this right. You never had alcohol in your life?” He asked and shook my head for no.
“Wow. You surprised me again.” He said smiling.
“Whe I surprise you last time?” I asked.
“When you slapped me.” He said and chuckled.
“Huh… I was thinkin mor lik I can defen myself.” I said smiling.
“That too. Way to go shut AJ up.” He said smiling.
“Thank You.” I signed to me. I started to smell something and looked at Nick.
“You smell tha?” I asked and Nick ran to back to kitchen. I had to chuckle little.

I followed him and looked at him take food out the oven. He almost burned the damn food. I chuckled out loud and he turned to look at me. I kept laughing. He walked to me and mouthed me why I was laughing.
I try to explain, but I just kept laughing. He smiled and looked at me keep laughing.

“You distracted me.” He said smiling.
“Me?” I questioned and pointed at me.
“Yes. Your beauty distracted me so much that I forgot the food.” He said and touched my face gently.
“Beauty.” I signed at him when I also said out loud. He repeated it with his hands and before I can do anything, he moved closer to me and our lips met softly.
“Nick…?” I questioned when we kissed and he looked at me.
“What?” He asked and kissed me again.
“Dinner. I’m hunry.” I said and chuckled.
“It’s ruined.” He said when looked at me.
“Let me see.” I said and walked past him to look at the food. He made us tuna cassarole and it was burned on top. I took fork and poke it deep to see inside. I took a bite carefully and eat it. It was very hot and so delicious. I looked at Nick and smiled.
“It’s good?” He questioned and I nodded.
“Delious.” I said and licked the fork clean.
“Let’s eat then.” He said smiling.

After dinner we sat in his porch looking to the sea. He wanted me to teach him little more about sign language. Only person I teach sign language was Rochelle. She learned in 1 year lots of it and after that she got better and better. Tease days she’s doing it like she’s been doing it her whole life. I wanted to kind of teach Nick and make him doing it. Maybe it could help us with communication in the future. Nick asked me to teach him how to say I Love You. It’s one of the easiest. I show it to him slow first so he could keep up. He did very good job first time, but needed to fix where his fingers needed to be and what position. I asked him to show me after I showed it to him 6 times now. I looked at him and he was suddenly very nervous. He looked at me and I looked at him. He started to sign it for me and I smiled and nodded. He tried one more time and again and again… I had to make him stop. I put my hands on his and told him he did it good. We moved to other things and after that for another. I was getting chilled outside and Nick took me to his arms to warm me up. It was nice to sit near him when he was so warm. I knew time was about to get very late and Monica might wonder where I was. I lifted my arm to look at my watch and it was almost midnight.

“Are you going to leave now?” He asked and looked at me.
“I can’t jus stay.” I said and looked at him.
“Why not?” He asked.
“Well… This was or firs dat.” I said in unclear and he turned me in his lap to face him.
“I want you to stay.” He signed at me. I smiled surprised when he signed to me.
“You sign wron, bu I understoo you.” I said unclear voice and signed too.
“I… Learned… That… Before… You… Came… Here.” He said and signed slowly to make me understand.
“Wow… I impress…” I said and touched his chest gently. He pulled me close to him from my butt cheeks.
“Hey… Behav.” I said giggling and put my hands around his neck.
“I never behave. I just want you to be close to me tonight.” He said and kissed me gently.
“Ar we talkin abou sex?” I asked and leaned my head backwards to look at him.
“No. We are not.” He said smiling and touched my waist.
“If we ar not then I go home.” I said and got off his lap to stand up.
“Lilith…” He pulled me back to his lap and made me look at him.
“Wha?” I asked when looked at him.
“Did I heard right that you want to have sex with me?” He asked and I got blushed.
“No. I jus think you want it.” I said and looked at him.
“What made you think that way?” He asked and touched my cheek with his both hands.
“You say you wan me to be clos to you tonite.” I said and looked at him.
“Yeah. Just sleeping and nothing more. ” He said smiling.
“I woud lik tha.” I said smiling and got more comfortable on his lap.

After that night Nick and I started to keep seeing each other. We were very discreet from the world. 6 months later there were some pictures of me and Nick walking in the park. When people asked Nick who I was he only said that I was very good friend. We talked about what Nick is going to say to media. I told him that I wasn’t quite ready to media know about me. Fans had already wroting awful things about me. How fat I am, how ugly looking I am… One thing they didn’t know was that I am deaf. We don’t want them know that or else fans could think of hurt me or something. I have to admit that I was very scared. Being Backstreet Boy’s girlfriend is risky and dangerous for girl like who can’t hear anything. Past these 6 months, Nick has learned so much about sign language. I was proud of myself and proud of him. Our conversation was so much easier cause of Nick learning sign language. It was very hot to see him talk sign language.
We’ve been so close to each other, but we haven’t had sex yet. I’m still virgin and he knows that. He tells me that he will wait as long as it’s takes. “Whenever you are ready.” he said one night. That was 4 months ago. It was already July and next day is Independence Day. I thought July 4th is perfect day to have sex with him very first time. Nick invited me to his place to stay whole week. Week before coming to his house, I asked Monica advice what to wear that night when we are having sex.
She took me to mall shopping and we end to Victoria Secrets shop. I stopped at the front of the store.

“What’s wrong?” Monica signed asking.
“I don’t know about this.” I signed to her.
“Oh come on, Lily. He would go crazy to see you wear VS underwear.” Monica signed to me.
“It’s not my style.” I signed frustrated.
“Let Nick decide that. Let’s just look around and decided then, okay?” Monica signed to me.

Eventually we found something after 2 long hours. I’m not big fan of girly underwear. Silky, lace or leather… Those are not really my thing. I’m mostly boyish type of girl. I liked use boxers for women or boring looking panties. Here I was now in Nick’s bathroom wearing blue thongs and matched bra. I was so fucking uncomfortable. Nick even noticed it when I was squirming on my seat when we ate. I’m never going to listening Monica again.

“Are you okay, Lilith?” Nick asked me.
“Not really.” I signed to him and keep squirming.
“Why are you moving like that?” Nick signed asked me.
“I shouldn’t tell you before bedtime.” I signed to him and sighed.
“It looks like you have something in your pants when you move like that.” He signed at me when laughed.
“I’m wearing a thongs, alright?” I signed at him embarrassing and looked down to my plate.

I couldn’t look up to look at him. Whole night was going to be ruined because these stupid thongs I’m wearing. I notice Nick walking towards me and then I looked at him.

“Thongs?” He signed asking me and smirked.
“Shut up.” I signed to him.
“You want to remove them and change to something comfortable?” He signed.
“And you want to watch me while I do it.” I signed to him.
“I can wait down here.” He signed and smiled.
“Good. I hat thes fuckin thons.” I said unclear voice and stand up off the chair.
“Why are you wearing them?” He asked.
“Monica thought it could be sexy.” I signed to him and he lifted his eye brows.
“Sexy for what?” He asked signed.
“Can I just go and remove them?” I asked.
“Maybe I want to see them on you before you remove them.” He signed to me.
“Not a chance.” I signed and ran fast to upstairs laughing, but Nick already stopped me middle of stairs.
“Nick!” I screamed when he lift me to his shoulder and carried me to bedroom. He put me down to bed to sit. I look at him confused.
“What are you doing?” I asked in signed.
“I want to see the thongs.” He signed to me.
“No way!” I signed and pushed him out of the room.
“Oh come on, Lily.” He signed when stands outside the bedroom looking at me.
“Get back downstairs.” I signed to him and closed the door.

I finally changed the thongs to more my style of underwear. I walked back to downstairs and Nick was sitting on the couch at the living room. He must’ve heard me coming down when he turn to look at me.

“Feeling better?” He signed asked me.
“Way better. God I hate thongs.” I signed and sat next to him.
“Why to wear something that you don’t like?” He signed asked smiling.
“To look nice to my boyfriend.” I signed smiling.
“By nice you mean sexy?” He signed asked. He pulled me close to him.
“You are seducing me, aren’t you?” I sign asked when sat on him when he lay on the couch under me.
“Maybe. Is it working?” He mouthed to me and put his hands to my butt cheeks.
“Definitely.” I mouthed back to him when rubbed myself against to him.
“Lilith? What are you doing?” he said while looking at me.
“Nothing.” I said unclear and smiled while touching his chest gently.
“It looks like you are seducing me.” he signed and looked at me.

I was starting to feel hot and so damn nervous. Was I going to do my first time on this couch?
We were watching each other long moments and touching each other. It was really getting hot in here.
He moved his hands from my butt cheeks to under my shirt on my back and reach to kiss me deeply.
I sighed after our lips departed and touched his face. He notice me being odd little bit.

“Are you okay?” He asked and I nodded.
“We don’t have to do something you don’t want to.” He signed to me.
“I know, but I think we had waited too long. That’s why I um… Bought the thongs.” I signed and looked at him shy.
“Have I told you yet that my girlfriend is smocking hot?” He signed asked me.
“Girlfriend? When can I meet this smocking hot girlfriend of yours?” I signed asked him and flirted.
“She’s sitting on my lap right now. She’s most greatest kisser.” He signed to me and puts his lips to mine.
“Hmm… My boyfrend can kiss.” I said unclear voice and kept kissing him deeply.

That night was best night I ever had in my life. While fireworks were exploded in the sky, Nick and I have sex and made our own fireworks if you know what I mean. I never thought sex is so amazing and so damn passionate. He was so gentle and sweet. He was sometimes asking to make sure I was okay and if he is hurting me. I shook my head even first it did, but then it started to feel more and more amazing. After sex, we lay down on the bed, he holding me close to him. I can still see fireworks outside in the sky. It was very colorful night and I won’t ever forget this night.

Next morning Nick surprised me big time when he asked me to move in with him. I said yes after he kept begging and begging. He explained why we should. He used the most sense excuse ever. We had been dating almost 6 months and I mostly kind of lived in his house. In my move day month later, mom came to help me. She met Nick very first time. Mom was surprised when she saw how well Nick did with sign language. They talked and came along so well. I was watching them in the living-room chit chatting.

“You got beautiful house, Nick. I can’t imagine better place to my daughter to live in.” My mom said smiling.
“Thank you, Deanna. I fall in love with the place when I first time saw it.” Nick said.
“And the view is so beautiful. I bet it gorgeous when is sunrise.” Deanna said smiling.
“And sundown too.” I signed to have their attention to me.
“How long you been standing there watching us?” mom signed to me.
“Quite a while.” I signed and walked to closer to them.
“You are very sneaky for deaf person.” mom signed smiling.
“She’s full of surprises.” Nick signed and then pulled me to his lap to sit.
“Hey… My mom is here.” I said unclear voice when I tried to get off his lap.
“Oh honey… Don’t be like that. He loves you. I can tell.” Mom signed smiling. Did she just say that?

I turned to look at mom shocked. It really wasn’t her business to tell me that. I turned to look at Nick and waited him say something. Did I miss something while they were talking? Nick looked to my eyes smiling.

“What is she talking about?” I signed asked from Nick.
“She’s right. I love you, Lily.” he said and touched my face gently.
“Is that other reason why you asked me to move?” I signed asked.
“I thought it was obvious. Do you love me?” Nick asked.
“You two never said those words to each other?” mom asked from Nick when I didn’t look at her.
“No. I just thought she does love me.” Nick said and lifted me off his lap before walked upstairs.

I looked shocked when Nick just left. I was about to go after him, but my mom stops me and shakes her head for no. She points to sit down where Nick sat earlier. I sat down and sighed.

“Lilith. You’ve been with him over 6 months and never said I love you?” She signed asked me.
“Please mom. Don’t start.” I signed to her.
“Start what? He loves you. Why else he would ask you to move in?” Mom signed asked me.
“We’ve been dating over 6 months. And we enjoy our company.” I signed to her.
“Oh my sweet daughter. That’s not a reason 2 people are moving in.” She signed to me.
“What was I supposed to say to him as an answer?” I signed asked.
“First of all… Important question is do you love him?” She signed asked me.

I couldn’t answer her because I didn’t know. I stood up and walked to backyard porch to sit to think.
Nick made perfect sense why to move in, but never mentioned that he loves me. Do I love him?
I don’t know what love is. I never loved someone. Why was I here? Am I here only because he loves me?
Did I make wrong decision to say yes to move in with him? I have so many questions to answer.
Nick walked back to downstairs and noticed me being gone.

“Where’s Lilith?” He asked worried.
“She’s outside sitting on the porch. She’s avoiding my question.” She said.
“What did you ask?” He asked looking at her.
“I asked if she loves you, but never answered. She just walked out.” She said.
“I really do love your daughter, Deanna. I don’t give a shit what people think of her.” Nick said in honest.
“I’m just worried about my sweet baby girl. She’s confused, but same time so happy.” She said.
“Deanna? Now that she can’t read us talking. Do you think she will marry me?” He asked when looked at her.
“Oh Nick… She doesn’t even know does she love… Wait… Marry you?” She asked shocked.
“I was planning propose to her in Thanksgiving, but I’m kind of worried she would say no.” Nick said and sat to chair.
“I would like to have you as son in law. You’ve been so good to my girl. I think she just need some time to think of things. She will eventually come to you.” She said smiling.
“Yeah I know how she is. Not our first fight if you could call it that.” Nick said and sighed.
“You’ve been fighting?” She asked shocked.
“Just small stupid fights, but in the end we make out.” He said smiling.
“Couples do fight. I never had that chance with anyone.” She said.
“You raised Lilith all by yourself. She told me all about it.” He said.

I decided to walk back inside, but I stopped to see them talk. I stayed hidden to read their talking. When Nick sat down to chair I read from mom’s lips word Son-in-law. I was so confused about what they were talking. I didn’t want to stay to find out. So I ran away. I just walked on the beach and follow it as long as my feet can take me. I had no my phone, purse or money with me. I really don’t know where I was going. One thing was on my mind and I kept thinking was Nick going to ask me to marry him? 7 months we’ve been dating and he was already thinking to propose. I wasn’t ready for that. I never even say I love you to him. He would hate me for this rest of his life when I’m running away. I walked to Rochelle’s and AJ’s front door and knock it.

I waited few seconds when door opens. AJ was standing there. I asked if Rochelle is home and he let me in. I told them what happened and I just wanted them to hide me in their house. AJ thought it’s wrong to stay hidden from Nick and not talking about whole thing. Rochelle was good friend and let me stay. I asked her if I could have some money for bus ride. She was curious of where I would be going. I told I have cousin in Las Vegas. My cousin would let me stay at her penthouse. You wonder what she is doing for living, she’s host in the casino hotel. So here I was deciding to go Las Vegas and being hidden.

. Rochelle took me to bus station next day and looked that I was getting to right bus. We said out goodbyes and I get to bus. Just about when bus started to move I saw Nick run to Rochelle, AJ right behind him. He looked directly back of the bus and looked hurt and pissed at the same time. I tried to stay hidden to not look outside from the bus window. When I was clear to get up, I texted (Rochelle’s old cellphone) to mom to let her know I’m fine and I just need to be left alone. Mom was confused why I left like that and kept asking what was going on. Rochelle texted to me, to let me know that she will not tell Nick where did I was going.

I lived in Vegas over 2 years now. I was my cousin’s roommate in her penthouse. I was living luxury. After living 4 months with my cousins, she got huge news to me. She said that she could find a way to make my hearing back. She took me 4 different doctors and last one of them decided to give it a try to put hearing device to my head. It sounded so bad and complicated. I was confused. Why they couldn’t just let me have those normal hearing devices like some deaf people does. Doctor Graham talked clear language that I only could have device in my head. I’ve been deaf since I born so they thought normal device wouldn’t help me to hear so… I took a risk with the surgery and here I am happily alive and hearing voices I haven’t heard before. It was weird to hear my cousin’s voice very first time. I let my mom know about the whole surgery, but I asked her to not tell anyone anything. After 8 months from surgery, I was like any normal girl in this world. I could hear things. Music, laughter, cars, birds… Everything.

I have a job at the hairdresser shop near the building where I live. I was getting along so well with the girls that worked there. I didn’t know them well, but I know them enough to know about their families and likes. They’ve been best friends since they were kids and always wanted to have their own business together.

It was Friday and I was working with Mimi and Kat that day. Other two workers Anna and Gigi came to shop excited and jumping. I was bit curious what was going on. I was cutting our last customer of the day when Anna shouts excited.

“Guess who is performing at the casino where Lilith’s cousin’s working?”
“Lenny Kravitz?” Mimi questioned.
“No. Any guess Lily?” Gigi asked.
“I really don’t know. I’m not usually into music.” I said and focus to costumer’s hair.
“Oh come on. Guess something.” Anna begged.
“Okay. Let me think.” I stopped working costumer’s hair for second to think.
“Tom Jones?” I questioned.
“Oh god he’s so old, Lilith. And no it’s not.” Anna said smiling.
“Then tell us. Olivia looks curious too.” Mimi said and pointed the costumer.
“I kind am.” Olivia said and I continued cutting.
“You ready girls?” Gigi asked and we nodded.
“Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys.” Anna and Gigi said the same time. I stopped cutting in shocked.
“Oh My God! Really?” Kat asked excited. Girls started to talk about Nick while I was in my thoughts until Olivia got my attention.
“What?” I asked when looked at Olivia.
“Are you okay?” Olivia asked.
“Yeah. Just got surprised that he’s doing solo music.” I said and lied.
“He’s very famous here.” Olivia said smiling. I smiled back too and focus to her hair again.

I was done with Olivia’s hair 15 minutes later. She payed and walked out the shop. I started to clean up my mess. While I was cleaning up, Gigi called me by my name.

“What?” I asked and looked at 4 girls.
“Wanna come to club with us?” Gigi asked smiling.
“I think I’ll just stay home and watch Friends whole weekend.” I said and sighed.
“Oh come on. It’s Friday night and we want you to come.” Mimi said and I looked at all 4. I finally nodded and girls started to be excited.

We walked to club 3 hours later. It’s 9pm when I watched my wrist watch. I never had been in the club before. Music was loud and people were dancing and drinking. We stand still and looked around.

“Are we going to dance floor first or getting drinks?” Gigi asked.
“I’m so going to dance floor.” Anna said and walked towards dancefloor with Kat and Mimi.
“What about you?” Gigi asked me.
“I’m just staying at the bar.” I said and pointed at the bar.
“You are very boring person, Lily. Just come with me to dance.” Gigi said smiling.
“I don’t know how to dance.” I admit to her.
“I’ll teach you. You are not wearing that black dress and high heels for nothing.” Gigi said. I looked at my dress and high heels.
Old me wouldn’t ever wear clothes like this and high heels, but I needed to change.
“Fine. I’ll come.” I said and sighed.

We walked to girls and Gigi started to dance like she had danced before. I was feeling uncomfortable first, but girls started to show me moves. I was actually having fun. Sometimes I can see some guys checking me out and smiling to my direction. I really wasn’t here to look any company. I was just here having girls night.
It was getting hot when girls and I stopped dancing. We walked to one empty booth to sit and Mimi and Kat went to buy us drinks.

“Having fun?” Gigi asked me smiling.
“I’m surprised that I’m having fun.” I said and then Anna comes to us looking like she has just won in the lottery.
“Why you are looking so happy?” Gigi asked.
“OMG… Where’s Mimi and Kat?” Anna asked when sat other side of table.
“Getting drinks, why?” Gigi asked.
“I was just talking this guy on the right corner over there.” Anna said and pointed to guy who was chatting with other guy.
“And?” I asked confused.
“When I looked up to second floor balcony to see some people, I saw him.” Anna said smiling.
“Saw who?” Mimi asked when get to table with Kat.
“Nick is here.” Anna said so excited.
“He is?” Kat asked surprise.
“Yup. I tried to get up there, but it’s VIP area.” Anna said and sighed.
“How we can get up there and talk to him?” Mimi asked.
“What are you going to do if you do get up there?” Gigi asked.
“Ask if he could dance with me, of course.” Mimi asked.
“Well you can always ask security guy if he can go and ask him the question.” Kat said and drank her drink.
“I’ll do it.” Gigi said ad stood up. I looked at her shocked.
“Why? Why? Why would you do that?” I asked so shocked that girls looked at me weird.
“Because he’s handsome. You’ve been so quiet, Lilith.” Gigi said.
“It’s just… If he would want to ask you dance he would come himself.” I explained.
“And I heard he’s engaged.” Kat said and looked at us.
“When did you were going to mention that?” Mimi asked.
“I just heard… I thought it could be rumor.” Kat said.
“Well I’m going up there to find out.” Gigi said and walked toward stairs to second floor.

4 of us moved to better seat to watch if Gigi managed to get there. Lucky for me I can still read lips. I focused to read what they were talking.

“Hey. This is VIP area. Back to stairs please.” security guy said.
“I was just wondering if you could ask Mr. Carter if he could join me to dancefloor.” Gigi said smiling.
“Why would I do that?” security guy asked.
“I’m just being nice and polite. Could you please ask?” Gigi asked. Security guy looked to other security guy.
“Stay here to look after her.” He said and walked to direction where Nick was sitting with some people.
“Nick? There’s girl asking if you want to go dance with her. What shall I say?” security guy asked.
“I’m not mood dancing now.” Nick said and looked to Gigi’s direction.
“Am I going to say you are not interested?” Security guy asked. Nick looked to his friends and excuses himself and walked to Gigi. As polite as usually he is, he smiled to Gigi before talks.
“Hey. What’s your name?” He asked.
“I’m Gigi. Just wondering if you want to dance?” Gigi asked very polite.
“I’ve been dancing all night and I’m very tired. I can buy you a drink.” Nick said.
“Well I could use a drink. I’ve been dancing all night too with my friends.” Gigi said and that was my queue to turn away. Now I didn’t know what was going on so I asked from girls.
“What’s happening?” I asked.
“Nick looked this direction and waved to us smiling. They are still talking.” Mimi said.
“They are walking this way.” Kat said. I looked carefully to see it myself.
“I need to use bathroom.” I said hurry and walked to direction of bathroom.

I walked to ladies room and looked for empty booth to hide myself. I locked to door and sat to toilet seat. After all these years, I’m seeing him here. I don’t look the same, but it doesn’t mean that he could recognise me. My hair was longer, my clothing style was different, I’m wearing a thong… Yes I’m wearing a thong. I was now totally different woman. I was getting over him, but past always bites my ass. I decided it was good to go back now. I got out the booth and washed my hands. Two girls were walking in and started to gossip when they started to redo their makeup.

“Nick looks so sexy tonight. I’m so going to try to hit that ass.” Blonde one said.
“Do you think he would agree to threesome?” Brunette asked while putting lipstick to her lips.
“Those 4 girls there don’t have fucking chance. They are little kids for compare to us.” Blonde said.

I was about to walk out the bathroom when brunette yelled after me, but I pretended to be deaf. One of them touched my shoulder and I turned to look at the brunette one.

“I was talking to you.” Brunette said.
“What?” I asked to pretend to be deaf.
“I said…” Brunette said, but I stop her talking.
“I’m deaf. Sorry.” I said and walked out the bathroom.
“Why deaf girl would come to club? They can’t even hear music.” Brunette asked confused.

I looked to bar and see girls talking with Nick. He seemed to buy all of them drinks. Gigi sees me and I waved her to come to me. She excuses herself and walks to me.

“What’s wrong?” Gigi asked and I moved her to face to me when my back was on girls and Nick.
“I can’t stay much longer.” I said and sighed.
“Oh come on. Nick bought us drinks.” Gigi asked and looked behind me.
“I don’t really care.” I said and looked at Gigi. She looked at me confused.
“Why not? What you have against him?” Gigi asked.
“Remember when I told you girls about the guy I use to date?” I asked and she nodded.
“Well…” I started, but I nodded my head Nick’s direction.
“No… You and…?” Gigi asked shocked and I nodded.
“I’m speechless… Oh shit… He’s walking this way.” Gigi said.
“What am I going to do?” I asked and then she pulled me to her arms.
“Pretend that you’ve been drinking too much.” Gigi said and I shook my head.
“I’ll just go back to bathroom.” I said and walked to bathroom and I already forget those 2 girls in there.
“Great. Deaf girl is back here.” Blonde said when kept her look on mirror. I just only walked to same booth and locked it. I was listening what those two girls were talking.
“I’m so ready to go there and ask Nick for dance.” Blonde said if I was correct that was her.
“Hush… I think I heard his voice.” other one said and I heard door open. Next there was exciting voices.
“Oh Gosh. You are Nick Carter, right?” I heard one of them ask.
“Yeah. That’s me.” I heard Nick said.
“Can I dance with you?” One of them asked.
“I’m actually talking with a friend here. I’m sorry.” I heard Nick said.
“Well could you after that?” This girl wasn’t giving up.
“I’m about to go soon anyway so I’m sorry.” Nick tried to be polite as possible.
“Whatever.” I heard and then door got shut. It didn’t take 1 minute when door opened again.
“Lily?” I heard Gigi call me by my name.
“What?” I answered.
“You are hiding. Just come out and be a woman.” Gigi said and stands front of the booth I’m in.
“I told you I don’t want to see him.” I said and walked out the booth.
“Just walk in there and go see him. He just went back to girls. I think he deserves to talk to you.”
“I never talked to him while I can hear.” I said and washed my hands.
“Are you saying you dated him while you were deaf?” Gigi asked surprised and I nodded.
“How that worked?” She asked.
“He learned sign language. Should I pretend to be deaf?” I asked in mischief voice.
“Let me text to girls to know.” Gigi said smiling and texted.

We were finally ready to go. I followed Gigi back and I was so nervous. Girls promised to be in game to pretend me to be deaf.

“Nick. Meet our friend, Lilith.” Mimi said smiling and pointed Gigi’s direction. I was still standing behind her, but not hiding. He turned to look my direction and I was now facing to him.
“Lily?” Nick questioned surprised.
“Hi Nick.” I signed to him.
“You live here?” He signed asked me.
“Oh my god… You can sign to her?” Kat asked and acted surprised.
“Yeah. She taught me.” Nick said out loud and I smiled shy.
“So you two know each other?” Mimi asked.
“Yeah we do.” I said out loud in my new normal voice. Nick turned to me shocked look.
“Wait… You sound different.” Nick signed and talked to me.
“Because she can hear you.” Anna said and smirked.
“Anna… You ruined it.” Gigi said.
“Wait, wait…” Nick made us stops talking.
“You can hear me?” Nick asked and looked at me.
“Yeah. I had surgery. Not a big a deal.” I said and sighed.
“Where the fuck were you all these years?!” Nick asked shouting.
“Please don’t yell at me.” I said and walked past him to take my stuff next to Mimi.
“You disappear on me and never came back!” He kept shouting.
“Don’t you yell at her.” Gigi said and I only walked outside the club.
“Lily! Wait!” Nick shouted and ran after me when I was just walking.
“Leave me alone.” I said and kept walking, but my high heels didn’t let me walks so fast.
“Just talk to me. Please stop walking.” He said and was now front of me to face me.
“Talk about what? Why I left?” I asked and looked at him. He didn’t answer me. He looked me over.
“What?” I asked and sighed.
“You look so different. You are wearing high heels and short dresses…” He said and looked surprised.
“So? I live here now and I just needed to change. So answer me. Talk about what?” I asked.
“When did you have surgery? Did your mother know?” He asked.
“My surgery was 2 years ago. 4 months after I left.” I said.
“And your mom, did she knew?” He asked and I nodded.
“Just tell me what happened?” He asked worried.
“Marriage. That’s what happened.” I said and pushed him aside and walked again.
“Wait what?” He asked and followed me and stopped me once again.
“Were you going to propose to me?” I asked and looked at Nick.
“How did you know?” He asked surprised.
“I can read people’s lips, remember? Mom said she would love to have you as son-in-law.” I said and he stayed quiet.
“So it’s true. You were going to. When?” I asked.
“Thanksgiving.” He said.
“Well then. Now you know why I ran.” I said and turn around to walk towards girls.
“Lily wait.” Nick said and stopped me again and stands front me. Again.
“Nick… You told me that same day you love me and… I never said it back. I’ve been keep thinking about it all these years and I get it now. I don’t.” I said honestly.
“Then why did you say yes to move in with me?” He asked.
“You made it sound so…” I tried to look right words.
“You don’t have to say it. You could’ve just talk to me than just ran away.” He said.
“I got scared okay? And I never loved you so…” I said and sighed.
“What about the Independence Day? Didn’t that meant anything to you?” He asked.
“It did. It was most forgettable night I ever had.” I said and looked at him.
“But not enough to love me?” He asked.
“I’m sorry Nick, okay? I heard you are engaged.” I said politely.
“Yeah. She at least said yes.” Nick said and crossed his arms.
“Believe me what I’m saying. I’m happy for you. You deserve her more than you deserve me.” I said.
“Gosh Lilith… I really cared about you and I meant every word I said. I loved you.”
“I believe you. I knew you did.” I said smiling.
“So how are you? Do you have someone in your life?” He asked.
“I only have my girls and my cousin. No love life or anything. Never date anyone after you.” I said.
“I feel so special.” Nick said sarcastic.
“I’m sorry how things ended. Can we be friends?” I asked and looked at him.
“Friends with ex-girlfriends… I don’t usually do that.” Nick said and started to think. He looked at me once more head to toe.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I said and play hit him with my purse.
“Like what?” He asked and defended himself from my hit.
“Like you want embrace me. I know I look sexy, but please just stop.” I said smiling.
“You admit you look sexy?” He questioned smiling.
“I feel like sexy tonight.” I said smiling.
“You look good, Lily. You always do.” He said.
“Thanks. I should go now. It was good to see you.” I said smiling.
“Just call me sometimes. My number is still the same.” Nick said.
“Maybe I will. Take care of yourself.” I said smiling and walked backwards towards girls.
“You too. I’m waiting for your call.” Nick said and waved. I only waved him back and then turned to walk towards to girls.
“Lily?!” Nick shouted after me and I turn to look at him confused.
“Just one question. Are you wearing thongs?” he asked and I had to smile to that.

I only winked at him and walked to girls. We decided to end our night and heading home. After that night seeing Nick again, I did call him and we started to be good friends. He got married to his fiancé and I couldn’t be more happier for them. Rochelle ad I started to be in good terms again and we opened our own hairdresser shop to LA. I was still friends with girls from Las Vegas. Things were starting to look great for me. Good business and good friends. I’m happy to have my normal life back. Not as deaf.

Chapter End Notes:
I hope this short story is good enough for to read.
I'm already planning to write 3rd short story...
Till net time... ;)